hollywood ambition

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How to Make it (or fail) in HollywoodAt 30, I decided to drop a stable job, and my entire life in New York City amidst the economic turmoil in order to pursue filmmaking. This is the story of my successes and failures in an industry I know absolutely nothing about.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010 Its Always Sunny in Hollywood (Except for the Haze)On my way to Santa Monica, I looked up at the empty spot where my cars sun visor was supposed to be and shook my head. Funny thing is, the sun visor was the least of my worries. One of my tires was about to go, and something was wrong with the starter. I was lucky the piece of shit was getting me to work in the first place. After all, it was my first day on the job. And I didnt need the visor at the moment anyway because it was still early.

Theres a general misconception that its always sunny in Los Angeles, but this is not the case at all. In the morning, for several hours, a haze blankets the sky, and eventually dissipates to reveal a scorching, unforgiving bastard of a sun.

I thought back to the interview the day before.

So, what do you know about the industry?

Not much, just what Ive seen on Entourage.

He laughed. Im not sure if it was with me or at me, but it was probably the latter based on the fact that I wasnt laughing.

Well, thats honest. Thats a great show, and you know what? If you go the agency route, its just like that.

My eyes widened.

Thats a little scary.

Well, there are two main ways you can go. Ones the agency route and ones the production route. If you go the agency route, youre going to be answering phones, making coffee, filling out expense reports, doing the calendars

What about the other route?

Its just as bad. Youd be a production assistant, driving back and forth, making runs, getting food, doing manual labor around the set, having the crew yell at you.

Wow. Those are the only two routes?

Yeah, but you have to realize, EVERYONE in the industry has gone through it. I mean EVERYONE. Theres no going around it. The industry has a hazing period. Now, what were offering you here is an internship where we teach you the ropes of the agency route. After youve learned that, well place you at a big agency. Our producer has a lot of connections at William Morris, and even some of the studios. So what do you think? Do you want to do this?

I didnt. I really fucking didnt.

Ummm. I uh, yeah, I guess.

Look Ben, Im going to send you over to meet our producer, but when you talk to him, youve got to be a lot more enthusiastic than that.

I meant, yes. I want to do this. Definitely

Good.

The company produced unscripted television for cable networks. Unscripted television includes reality shows, game shows, user generated content (shows about crazy car chases, or even something like Americas Funniest Home Videos), hidden camera shows, etc. Half of the work at the company consisted of pitching ideas for new shows to the producer. The other half consisted of doing repetitive agency style office work in preparation for your illustrious future career as an agency punching bag.

I sat down at the corner of the small, desk filled room and began reading the 200 page Interns Handbook.

About 4 hours and 60 pages later, I reached what was defined as the most important section of the handbook. It was a section that taught you the industry standard of answering phones at an agency. The 30 page section went through excruciating lengths to describe in detail the process of rolling calls. I couldnt believe my eyes. There was a script to answering the phone, lessons on putting people on hold, how to reach your boss if he isnt in the office, how to handle a call if your boss is in a meeting, how to direct the call if your boss is in the middle of jerking off into your ear, how to give your boss a handjob while making coffee and putting someone on hold, etc. The real kicker was the disclaimer at the beginning and end of this section.

Everyone in the industry goes through this hazing period for anywhere between 2 to 5 years.

At that moment, I remembered something. I came to LA to leave the daily grind and do something I enjoy. I didnt come here to jump back into an office job for up to 5 more years. I know its a potential means to an end, but Im too old to risk half a decade answering phones when the end result might be nothing. Right then and there, I decided to take the third route. I didnt want to be rude about it, so I stayed the entire day. Besides, it gave me a chance to read the rest of the handbook and find out what kind of bitch work I wouldnt be missing.

I ended up staying until past 7 at night and to avoid confrontation, I decided Id e-mail them once I got home. But before I left, the producer talked to me for a bit, and really tried to sell me on the agency route.

As I walked to my car in the Santa Monica night, I thought about it. Say I did go the agency route. 2 to 5 years must be a worst case scenario because within the first month, theyd love me! Theyd instantly see how sharp I am and demand a copy of my script. Theyd read it, drool, and in 6 months tops, Id be on my way to making films. This could totally work.

I sat in my car and tried to start the engine. It sputtered, rattled then died. I shook my head and tried again. This time, it didnt even sputter. It just rattled a dim, g-e-t- -a- -r-e-a-l- - c-a-r

I took it as a sign and muttered under my breath, Fuck this job.Posted bybigbenycat3:28 PMNo comments: Friday, May 7, 2010 The Hollywood Formula

How do you make it in Hollywood? In the months leading to my life detour to Hollywood, dozens of people divulged what they believed to be the formula to making it in Tinseltown. This advice, often unsolicited, always sounded the same.

Its all about who you know.

You have to network.

You have to get really lucky.

You should think about film school.

Just get your foot in the door and work your way up.

Go to workshops and networking events.

Try to get an agent.

This advice, while appreciated, was never profound enough to impact my decisions in LA, nor did this advice come from credible sources. Everyone thinks they know the Hollywood Formula, but no ones telling you from firsthand experience. Its not like Tom Cruise is calling me up saying, Hey Ben, to make it in Hollywood, you must convert to Scientology. Thats the secret. Now give me a couch I can go batshit on.

My formula for success was much simpler. It was to admit that I have no fucking clue. Just go out there and see where the wind blows. But dont get me wrong, I had some sort of game plan. First things first, I needed a car.

My former boss graciously decided to let me continue working remotely from LA but she couldnt keep me on because she needed someone to work out of NYC, so after two months she had to let me go. The extra two months of income helped immensely with my finances, and so I bought a beat up Civic and had a little bit of money to serve as a buffer between me surviving on hotdogs and me sucking dick for food.

After I stopped working remotely, I realized that it was the first time in 7 or 8 years in which I was completely unproductive. And so, I banged out the first draft of my first script in a matter of two weeks. I also began applying for internships. I almost instantly got an e-mail asking to interview.

Downtown LA is like LAs version of Manhattan and its also a strange place for a production company to stage an interview because its mainly filled with corporate buildings. The destination on this particular day was a mini mall but I didnt think too much of it because in LA, every other block is a mini mall, some containing offices, some with only retail shops and restaurants. I arrived and parked in the malls parking lot (note to self: in LA, ALWAYS ask where to park. Its not an odd question, and if the answer is street parking, theyll tell you so). So there I was, in my best suit, walking around a mini mall, looking at each store on each floor to find this production company. I arrived 20 minutes early, so I wasnt too worried about the fact that their suite number wasnt listed on their website. Fifteen minutes later, Im frantically running around, sweating like Shaq, begging security guards to tell me where this fabled production company was located. In the 11^th hour, I get a phone call.

Meet me down by the escalator in the food court.

The interviewer was a kid from New York, dressed in Jeans, sneakers and a hoodie. I felt silly sitting with him in a food court, wearing a suit and tie, going through my resume. We were joined fifteen minutes later by another young man and woman, also dressed very casually. They asked me typical interview questions, I shook their hands, and I walked away. As I walked to the parking lot, I thought about the details of the internship.

First off, they didnt have an office. They needed an intern to work out of their apartments, 2-3 days a week.

Secondly, they didnt give me fair warning about the fact that they didn't have an office in the mall. This could have saved me a ton of stress.

They were dressed as if they were about to go clubbing. This is fine, but why am I the only asshole in a thousand dollar suit? What kind of first impression are they trying to make?

They were all black. Okay, stop, Im not a racist (most of the time) but I feel its important to mention this. Only because, when a creative company is run entirely by a specific demographic, that company will usually generate content pertinent to the interests of said demographic. This was absolutely the case in this instance. The company produced several documentaries on urban life and a documentary set in Africa. This is fine, but definitely a deterrent for me personally because of the possibility that my creative ambitions might be passed over for something more aligned to their interests.

The final note I should make about this company is one of humility. I think its fine for artists to be narcissistic to a certain degree, but on his website, the creator of the company calls himself a mastermind. While being interviewed by this self proclaimed mastermind, there was never a point in which I felt he was a master and certainly not a master of my mind.

But then I started wondering, is this really the formula for all small production companies in Hollywood? Should I just bite the bullet and take this internship with a grain of salt? Because the fact of the matter is, Im about as green as they get, and even an internship with a flawed company is considered invaluable experience at this juncture of my nonexistent career.

I reached the kiosk to pay for my parking and it came out to $32.50. Fuck those inconsiderate bastards. I thought as I pulled out.

They e-mailed me to congratulate me on attaining the internship position a couple of days later. I lied and wrote back that I had already found a job.

Posted bybigbenycat5:34 AM2 comments: Tuesday, April 27, 2010 Preface

I blinked my eyes a couple of times in disbelief as if one of those blinks would result in an alternate consciousness. No dice.

She gave me that look, the look of someone expectant of a stronger reaction, and so I searched for one on the fly. I smiled and congratulated her.

Wow, thats awesome. USC. See! I told you youd get into grad school. Its meant to be.

Meant to be indeed. So now heres the question:

Youre born in New York (Queens).

Youre also raised, educated and work in NYC.

You spend 7 years building a career in finance and marketing and have a steady job with benefits and decent pay despite the market collapse.

You find a girlfriend, you fall in love and spend 2 years basically living with her.

She tells you shes moving to Los Angeles for grad school.

So what do you do?

The easy answer would be to continue the relationship in its more diluted form, the long distance relationship. However, you've grossly underestimated the degree, extent and nature of my neurosis. Its not a pretty sight when Im calling my girlfriend at 3 in the morning, drunk off my ass, crying and screaming Who the hell are you fucking you stupid whore!? while doing 90 on the Long Island Expressway. Option number one: gone.

Or we could break up and I continue my life minus my girlfriend. But again, youd be underestimating our love, and how chafed my dick would be after fucking my scaly, psoriases infected dry hands for the next year or so. Option two: gone.

Or I can drop everything, move to Los Angeles and start over. Option three: possible.

I have to admit that when I first found out that she was going to California, my heart felt heavier than a ton of bricks (or a ton of feathers, or a ton of anything for that matter), almost as if all the wind had been knocked out of me. At first I didnt understand why, but then I realized the inevitable consequence of my complacency. My girlfriend was going to abandon me in New York to pursue greatness while I stay here trapped in the same cubicle, reviewing business requirements documents, analyzing gaps in processes, looking through databases and spreadsheets while trying excruciatingly hard to discover a method to sleep with my eyes open to no avail. In other words, she would pursue her dream while I stood completely and unabatingly still in a life with no real light at the end of the tunnel except 5 o' clock. There's nothing worse in life than standing still. Unless you're old, in which case, stay still you old fucker, you're gonna give yourself a heart attack.

So what are you gonna do? She asked.

I dunno. Well figure something out. I replied. What do you want me to do?

Go with me.

Yeah, maybe. I I just gotta figure it out. Like, what am I gonna do out there? And what are we gonna do for money?

You can make movies. You can write your screenplay.

Hah. And join the millions that migrate over to Los Angeles every year with that exact same dream?

Youre better than them. Youre smarter than them.

Im a 30 year old man. Im supposed to be thinking about settling down, starting a family, buying a house. You know, typical adult bullshit. Im not supposed to be thinking about starting all over in an industry I know absolutely nothing about. For someone whos supposedly smart, I was putting a very stupid option on the table.

But riddle me this Adam West, how many people do you know who have dreams?

EVERYONE.

Now, out of all the people you know who have dreams, how many people do you know who actually go out and pursue them?

Almost NO ONE.

Its a sad sociological fact that we, as human beings, are notoriously conservative when it comes to our own career ambitions and aspirations. We want what pays, whats practical, and comfortable. Not what we felt we were destined for 5, 10, 15 years ago. Our starry eyes have been poked out by the harsh reality of capitalism. And now here I was, debating whether or not I should ignore all corporate and filial reasoning and throw caution to the wind with a vengeance.

I spent a lot of nights going out with my friends AKA: my comfort zones, drinking and stumbling through the Manhattan streets, waiting for some sort of epiphany to fall from the sky that would point me in the right direction. And at the end of the day, there was no epiphany. There were only my dreams and my love for a girl and they were pointing west. And who knows, maybe I was right, maybe her making it to USC really was meant to be.

I walked into the office and handed my letter of resignation to my manager. I thought my heart would do the same thing and feel heavy again, but instead, I felt something I hadnt felt in a long time.

Hope.

Cant stop the spirits when they need you

This life is more than just a read through

-RHCP

Posted bybigbenycat8:20 PM4 comments: Labels:ambition,dreams,hollywood,new york,screenwriter HomeSubscribe to:Posts (Atom)FollowersBlog Archive 2010(3) May(2)Its Always Sunny in Hollywood (Except for the Haze)The Hollywood Formula April(1)About MebigbenycView my complete profile

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