James Matthew Wier - A Memorial

Time 2020-11-05 02:04:07

Web Name: James Matthew Wier - A Memorial

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James Matthew Wier was born prematurely on August 6th,1973. He wasa loving, caring, helpful and musically gifted person. He survived so many close calls with death during his life that I started totake for granted that James could go through anything and end up all right. Itseemed destiny was to prove me wrong. On the ninth of July in 1998, havingbeen declared brain dead, James died prematurely at 24 years of age .While crossing the street on his bike,James was hit by a pick up truck which was running the red light. He was 11. A telephone repairman witnessed the accident and tried to give James a ride home. Since he had always been told to never accept a ride from a stranger, he refused and walked home. The best the repairman could do is follow along side James and tell us what happened, saying James had been hit pretty hard, and advising that a doctor check the child over. He had physical therapy for several years but was plagued with constant back problems the rest of his life. Most people were unaware of his back pain for he did not let it slow him down and he never complained about it.In high school James took honors courses including honorsband and jazz band. He earned many academic and music awards. He could play thealto, tenor and baritone saxophone and some piano and guitar. He alsowrote short stories, poems, music and composed his own sheet music. James was in the National Beta Club and the National HonorSociety. He graduated with honors in 1991 from Lakeview Centennial High School and received two scholarships-The Amy Senato Memorial Scholarship (which now has become The LCHS Band Scholarship in Memory of Amy Senato and James Wier / Band Awards ) and a $3500. scholarship from The University of Texas.He dropped out of college after his father was laidoff from his job with the intent to eventually go back. He had wanted tobe a band director.On December 19th, 1991 around 2 in the morning, we wereunaware that our attic was engulfed by fire until it dropped down into the den, and the wall exploding out. James had to pull me out of the house after I had run back in to find our 11 year old cat. He also dodged a fire ball when he had tried to water down the den with the garden hose.In July of '93 he was married-for a very brieftime and in the early part of 1998, James woke up to find the wires to his water heater burned, and the back of the wall scorched..James was always willing to lend a helping hand. Whetherit was to climb the tree and cut branches, get on the roof to fix something, or housesit our animals while on vacation, we could depend on James. I had not realized until he had died, how many things I took for granted that James had always helped us with doing around the house.James was a born again Christian, far from perfect, but he knew the ONE who is and cleansed his heart. James was a compassionate,generous, and kind hearted soul who befriended everyone. He was always taking home stray kittens and giving homeless people a place to stay. . We loved James very much and miss him. james matthew Wier James WeirJAMES ' ACCIDENTJuly 2nd, 1998, we were on vacation whenI called to see how my mother was doing and tell her where we were staying .Muchto my surprise, my brother answered the phone, but to my horror, in thebackground I could hear the paramedics trying to revive my mother. She died onroute to the hospital. We immediately called our son and daughter in law, Davidand Kelly, and then called James who had been staying at our house( with his 2cats) babysitting our menagerie of animals. He opted to clean up the place (moreor less) and go back to his own home. We arrived at our house in the wee earlyhours of the morning.July 4th,1998, James calls to checkup on how I was doing. Oh God, if I had known this wasto be my last conversation with him, I would have memorized each word and burnedit into my very soul! Before going into work to wrap things up, he let me knowhe had arranged to take off the rest of the week and wouldsee me later..... If only I hadkept him on the line longer .............or shorter...if only !! If only !!!Thiswill forever haunt meI told him I loved him...he said he loved me...and we said goodbye..........andhung up the phone.James WierLighthouse for new Hope We werefinishing my mother's funeral arrangements when our front door was flung openand in rushed our daughter in law, Kelly, with her sister Miki, (who James hadbeen dating along with a couple of others).I could tell on the looks of their faces something was very wrong. Theytold us a chaplain from Methodist Hospital had called and said James had beenairlifted there, and had been in an extremely serious accident!I screamed for my husband, David and ran off to tell him back in hisoffice. My mind was racing.....inside I was screaming...I couldn'tthink....concentrate....someone dialed the hospital for us...a doctor told us toget their as fast as possible and would meet us at the ICU to talk to us.......James WierWhen did I realize that James had been airlifted? Was it on the way to thehospital? Inside the hospital? I don't know....I can't remember...all Iknow is the steel, cold realization of what this may mean feels like i am beingpummeled by spears straight to my heart. .My adrenaline is pumping...everythingseems so surreal...sharper...on a different plane. .somehow I have stepped intoa play...I keep trying to concentrate...I can't !! I can't !! I try to use the cell phone...I am shaking so badly I can't seem to get aconnection...and when I do...no one is home...we try....David trys a few morenumbers...we can't get a hold of anyone. It is the fourth of July. Everyone isout with friends at the lake...in preparation of the fireworks to comelater....Where is everyone!!!!We keep jerking the phone away from eachother...we leave frantic messages on answering machines all over town. Wealso have been unable to get in touch with our daughter, Shannon. We finally find our way to the correct hospital floor and the ICU. .who did wefinally talk to first? I still don't remember. What I do remember is talking toJames' trauma doctor. Thank God for this man. Dr. Alex Santos. We were blessedto have this doctor whowas patient and understanding... genuinely cared...and calmly repeated over andover to us the extent of James' injuries .How many times he must have said overthe course of the next 4 days that it was normal for us not to be able to retainmost, and often all of what was being told to us and not to be embarrassed aboutasking to have it repeated. It was our way of handling the shock. It is tooawful to be able to take it all in at once, so our brain protects us by notletting it all be remembered at once.greifHe told us James probably was driving on the highway about 60 miles an hour ....and due to a previousaccident, an 18 wheeler was stopped at the bottom of a hill,straddling two lanes on the highway .James hydroplanedinto the back of the semi trailer, with another car hitting James from behind.My son ended up under the semi .The 18 wheelers axle was broken ,the driver, LonzoLane jr, all right. My son's car was a crumpled mess of steel.griefJames alreadyhad irreversible brain damage upon impact , his body starting togo into seizures. ,He had a depressed compound fracture, withhis skull fractured in 3 places. We learned that it took quite awhile for the police to show up. The truck driver did not call the police. Carefliteflew him to the hospital. . Both of his eyes weredilated ,and uneven ,a sure sign of brain damage. He was posturing,meaning abnormal muscle movements, another sign of severe brain damagegriefDr.Santos tries to prepare us for how James will look...but no amount of wordscould ever describe how hereally looked when we walked into the ICU room.It was hard to believe this couldreally be him. Only a few short hours ago, hadn't he promised to drop over afterwork? Please God, no, not Jamie!!grief and bereavement bereaved parents James Wier mourning July 4 accident Lighthouse for New Hope There James was lying so still, barely recognizable, his head big and swollen,and part of his thick brown hair had been shaved off, replaced by a hideous boltthat jutted out from his forehead. One eye was partially cracked open, neverblinking, only a shattered black pupil engulfed the eye .Stitches sewed up ahuge, angry gash from his forehead down to his cheek. His face and eyes wereblack and blue .His hair was matted with blood and I saw that there wascrusts of blood in his ears and nose, almost every facial bone was broken, hisskull was crushed.Tubes were coming out from everywhere. Inthe background ,we heard the sadistic whoosh whoosh of theventilator softly mocking us. Tubes from his mouth carried out black globs ofbile. An array of lights danced overhead on the monitors screen. I was to learnwhat each number meant...as each hour went by , I dreaded looking up at thechanging numbers, , yet I dreaded not doing it either .James' brain keptswelling...like shaking baby syndrome. As long as the brain kept swelling,the brain damage kept being compounded. Medication was not helping in reducingthe swelling. His cranial pressure fluctuated, but keptclimbingJuly 4 David ,Lisa ,Shannondeath and dying grieving parents Lakeview CentennialHighSchool Garland texas James was in a deep coma next to brain death as you can be. He did stillhave reflex responses but there never was a time James tried to breathe on hisown and my insides cringed when I watched the tubes being changed. When theventilator stopped, so did his breathing, once the new tubes were inserted, the machine started, then and only then did his breathing resume. The day it lookedlike good news-his cranial pressure was down....something we had been hoping andpraying about ,we were told it was because he was vomiting up pieces of hisbrain. The nurse ( not our favorite one) explained to us (My GOD!!!!WHAT shesaid !! I wanted to shout and scream and take James home right now...butwanting the doctors and nurses to help him, all this going on inside my head atonce .I wanted to let out the most hurt and agonizing scream that I could..instead we just mutely stood there ,in shocked silence listening ) she saidbecause of the breaks in his skull and pointing to her throat, she said it wasfalling down into the throat. .so when he vomited up pieces of his brain, thecranial pressure went down. James was also vomiting up fluid from his brain. What that lookslike is forever seared and etched upon my very being. Oh my poor son!!This can't be happening!!!! Don't you understand! I had just spoken to him...hewas just going to work...it was daytime ,the traffic was light due to theholiday. .he finally had a car that I felt he was safe in, instead of those oldclunkers he used to have ,he was grown...you worry about them as teenagedrivers...he always used his seatbelt....he was just on his way to work.James Weir,James Wier,James Weir,Lakeview Centennial highschool,,Garland Texas,car accidents,wighteen wheelers,New Nope Funeral Home,Lighthouse for new Hope,,Lighthouse, New Hope, Lighthouses,Hope,New Nope,hope LighthousesLight,children,youth,support groupsSeveral of the neurologists offered no hope...Dr. Santos reassured us that hewas going to give James a fighting chance ,and while he would take all theother drs opinions under advisement, he promised he would tell us when he feltthere was no hope.............then that time came.support groups,youth,kids, teens,adults,grieving,spouse,widowed,widower,faith,God loves you,,trust in God,greif,greiving,grief,griving,beravement,bereaved,parents death,child's death,dying,James,Wier,Weir,Lighthouse for New Hope I had toattend my mother's funeral .A former and current girlfriend stayed by James'side for me. Otherwise, I would not have stepped foot out of the hospital. Iwent to pay my respects to my mother and on the way out , one of theneurologists told us we needed to decide what day we were going to take Jamesoff the life support. I thought David was going to hit the insensitive clod.(anote here...this dr was the exception,for we found the doctors and nursesin the ICU to be a group of compassionate and hardworking people who dideverything they could to try and save James.They have our utmost respect...especially Dr. Alex Santos and nurse CatherineVandendiepstran.)compassionate friendsThe family had decided it would be Friday when the life support would be removed.James was never going to get better. Would he want to stay like the way he wasnow? Of course not. It was doubted that he would ever reach brain death becauseof the skull fractures ,his brain had room to move around, instead of cuttingoff the oxygen supply to the brain stem. July 8th, we prayed that if James wasnot going to recover, for him to reach brain death where we would not have tomake the decision.caring hearts,sudden loss,sudden death,semi-,tractor-trailor deaths,Lighthouse,The Lighthouse for New Hope,Lighthouse,LIghthouse,Lighthouse hope,grief groups,ON that day I told James that he had been in a real badaccident and that he was hurt very bad and if this was too hard, it was okayto let go and be with Jesus in Heaven. I told him not to worry about us , and someday we would all be togetheragain with him in Heaven (James had accepted Christ as his savior injunior high)my son has died,,death,brain dead,brain dead,life support,highway fatality,July 4 highway accidnet,New Hope Funeral ,New Hope,Hope,Funeral,Lighthouse,Lighthouse HHope,Hope LighthouseEarly on the morning of July 9th, James' cranial pressure reached in the high80's ,the tests were given, My son hadreached brain death on his own. It was 9:30 in the morning.The worst day of mylifeThe gates of Heaven are opened andthere must be a great rejoicing over there. I know my son is now REALLY.home...but I am still over hereMyJamie has died!Jame Wier,Jamie Wier,James Weir,James WierThere are noadjectives to really convey my feelings on how I felt. No word too awful ,orinvented to explain to others my agony. T o grasp how tormented you are seeingyour child( once so alive,. .ALIVE ) ,well you just can't.You can't .I once thought I could imagine it ,but until it happened to me,I didn't have a clue to how it felt in the slightest.sorrow ,devastated,heart broken,support groups,help for grief, Friendsand loved ones said their final good byes to James.ames. James Wier, Lisa Wier, Shannon Wier,David C.Wier,Garland,Texas,,David Wier,DavidWeir,Wier,Weir,hope,Wehad already spoken to our other children on their feelings on donatingJames' organs. and were all in agreement We knew that James was inHeaven, only his body left here. How could we bury healthy organs 6 feetunder the ground when they could mean a long healthy life for others ?We requested for the hospital to getin touch with the transplant co ordinator for us .The organ recovery team wouldarrive at 2 am. It was now midnight ,and we would be going in to see James onelast time.I guess you can call this next thing a mommything .....I insisted on staying after the rest of my family had saidtheir good byes ,and I would wait with James until the recovery crewarrived. .I felt that I was there to welcome him into this world ,Iwould...see him out of this one too.southwest transplant alliance,organ donation,transplants,organ transplants,recipients,organ recipients,transplant,Southwest Transplant Alliance,Giving and Living,harevesting organs,gift of life,transplant gift of life,organ donorI talked to James .I sang to him.....old and familiar hymns. I touched his face,his chest his hands his knees ,his toes...I told him how much we loved himso and how he was so special...I laid my head on his chest and listened tothe beat of his heart. A heart that had once been growing inside me and grew upand lived too short of a life with James. . I felt the warmth of hisbody and knew it would not be too much longer when...( Jamie please don'tdie, I silently screamed. I need you. We all do. You are part of us. and thenjust ,James I am so, so , sorry you had to go through all this .You deserved somuch better, At last now ,in Heaven you will find love ,joyhappiness and a peace that I can't begin to imagine, and your body won'tbe all broken ...I wanted time to stand still ,or at least go very slowly....it went alltoo fast.Then I had to leave the room...forever.While the story of James' life on earthends here; for others ,,the stories of their lives will continue. Thanks to organdonations and transplants. James was an organ donor. He helped a multitude ofpeople. A little 6 year old boys eyesight was restored ,a 54 year old man now hasa strong healthy heart, a 47 year old lady has one healthy kidney and new liver now, and a 37year old man ,has a healthy kidney now also.As he had helped others during his life ,hewill continue to help others through his death.I miss you James! I love you so much!recipients remember James!kidney transplants,heart transplants,cornea transplants James' Last Picture - one week before his deathTaken with brother, David, Sister in Law, Kelly and niece, BrittanyApril 2000 At the annual get together of donor families and recipients at the SouthwestTransplant Alliance this year we got to meet the African-American woman who receivedJames' kidney and liver. How can I adequately describe the feelingwhen we met? She was like meeting a long lost relative that Ihad never met before . It was wonderful and overwhelming .She is aprecious lady who has had to battle with a tremendous amount ofphysical problems . Please keep Brenda in your prayers.Lighthouse for New Hope October 2001 I have read the deposition of the truck driver, Lonzo Lane jr. and find to my shock that this man, when he finally makes his way to see what kind of condition my son is in, DOESN'T EVEN BOTHER TO CALL THE POLICE !! Nor did he have a clue as to who called them. A compassionate nurse had stopped to render aid and got to my son before Lonnie Lane did!! .Just how long would it take you to get out and check on the person who went under your vehicle?? Thank God other people didn't take for granted that this professional truck driver had called the police.. As of October 9th , he didn't know whether James was alive ,dead or still in a coma. In my opinion,. If he had stayed in the far left hand lane, like he continued to say he was always in,( until shown the pictures )or get off to the shoulder, instead of stopping right in the MIDDLE of two lanes, my precious son would be alive today. Lonnie Lane says he stopped in the safest place .I think when you don't have to worry about getting hurt if someone hits you from behind, perhaps you aren't as careful about where you stop. The truck driver said James was at fault since he hit the truck from behind. But in cases involving eighteen wheelers. the majority of the time results in a fatality or debilitating injuries. Should a person have to die because of this ??There are underride guards available today that are not being implemented that would help keep cars from going under eighteen wheelers.Lighthouse for New Hope,New Hope,Hope,Hope Lighthouse,events,memorials,living memorials.transplants organ transplants When you come upon an accident ,please don't take for granted that someone else has called the police .You could be saving a life.LighthJuly 2002It has been four years now since I heard James' voice ,given him a hug, seen hisface. It has been a long ,hard journey filled with countless tears andsleepless nights. Few mention James at all any more. Why is it when someonemarries we all celebrate, but when someone dies we act if nothing has happened?While the gut wrenching tears have ended, and visions of theaccident do not haunt my every waking minute, what continueson (and in the hearts of every parent who have lost a child) is the fearthat James is being forgotten. tractor-trailor fatalities,eighteen wheelers,truck drivers,safety,underride deaths,Trucks,holiday deaths,If you know someone who has lost a child, thebest gift you could give, is to let them know you remember the birthday,and especially the death date. A simple phone call acknowledging thesedates, and letting your friends know that YOU are aware how rough thesedays are for the bereaved parent, means so very much!!!!! Silencemakes us feel like everyone has either forgotten or just doesn't care about theimportance of these dates .It invalidates our child's life. Try to remember thatfor the rest of our earthly life we will Never see our child again.September 7, 2004SIx years have gone by now, and it has been a remarkable journey, a difficult one for any mother to have to make, and a day doesn't go by that I don't think about James .Birthdays are still terribly difficult, anniversaries, weddings, a new grandbaby, all are tinged with sadness for the one who is not their to experience these things with his family. I still don't hear from family members on James' birthday or the day of his death, or even seem to be aware at holiday times I am missing him. You don't get over the loss of a child, but you learn to live differently, incorporate ways for you to keep your child a part of your ongoing family.A memorial site is one example,Every Christmas I have an angel tree in the entry way where I exchange angels and other ornaments with others who have suffered a loss,We read James;Christmas Wreath:every Christmas, it has become a tradition, I am able to have all the stockings hung, and ask people just to write a note and drop it into James' stocking .The notes remain there unread.AND yes, I do enjoy life, and I don't cry every day, but there are still some dark moments, few and far between, mostly around the time of his death and birthday..God Has Not Forgotten YouFor those parents who haverecently lost a child, I promise you that there will come atime when you will not cry all the time...there will be a day that will goby that you don't fall apart....then two.....Bible,read the Bible,Trust God,Jesus loves you,dying childrenThere will come a time when you will feel things again...andcare about things again... laugh at things again .No not in the same way thatyou use to, but you will learn to live with this newnormal way of life..Lighthouse for New HopeMore Pages about James WierBible Verses to comfort How to include your loved one at the holidays parents to comfort,and give hopedeath of achildMemorials to Friends Helpful Resources About GriefGrief ResourcesPoetryLighthousehappybirthdaykay Inspirations*Funshine PagesHappy Birthday Shannon Michelle Helms!!!My Grand daughter's Pages (Brittany Wier)Our New Addition December 9th 2002MOODY FAMILY PICTURESThe Easter Egg Story Lighthouse for New Hope,Southwest Transplant Alliance,PamSilvestriI am one of the grief facilitators and a boardmember at The LightHouse for New Hope Ouryouth are hurting, our families are grieving, our senior citizens are mourning.The most vulnerable in our community need a place to turn. None of us can escapethe pain of grief and loss. Our vision at The Lighthouse for New Hope is toestablish a facility that will be there for our community when loss occurs.We gladly accept donationsLighthouse for New Hope,Lighthouse fo hope,HopeLighthouse,grief support groups,youth are hurting,teens are hurting,parents mourning,a safe haven,haven,a place to run to ,support groups,Our Savior Lutheran Church, SiteRing by Bravenet.comThis site is a member of WebRing. To browse visit here.support Groups for every age,LightHousefor Hope,New Hope Funeral HopeThis site is a member of WebRing. To browse visit here.

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