Artless Truth

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Artless Truth

Wednesday, June 25, 2014 NO HOMO
A phrase uttered by people lest you think they have anyhomosexual intent after saying or doing something that might be perceived assuch.
Homosexuality has been a hotly debated topic over the pastfew years. More people have come out of the closet in the past 10 years than inthe past 100 years. (Not sure if that statistic is right but lets just go withit.)
Many people think its a black and white topic. Youreeither for the gays or against the gays. Well, I am neither. Homosexuality is agray area for me. Basically what Im trying to say is, you will not find memarching on the streets for gay rights, neither will you find me marching onthe streets against gay rights.
As a Christian a catholic to be specific I was broughtup to believe that homosexuality is wrong. A crime against nature and God. However,I was also brought up to treat everyone I meet with love, respect andunderstanding. Although, I do not understand how people can be attracted thesame sex, at the end of the day it is absolutely none of my business. I wasbrought up to judge people based on their character and not on their sexualorientation, race or religious beliefs.
I believe that homosexuality can be considered religiouslyor spiritually wrong but it should not be considered legally wrong. The government should have no right to tellyou who you can or cannot spend the rest of your life with. The government hasno right to tell you whom you can or cannot love.
Im a firm believer of the mantra Live and let live Soplease let gay people be. You may find them disgusting or sinful but at the endof the day their love does not affect your life.
If you feel that as a Christian or Muslim it isyour duty to try and make gays see the light and repent from their evil waysthat is fine. Preach. Try and convert them. But if it doesnt work LEAVE THEMALONE. Stop pestering people! You cannot force your belief or your sense ofright and wrong on someone else. At the end of the day we are all going to dieone day and we are all going to face God on judgment day. So why dont we alllive our lives until that day comes and we let God be the judge?

Comments and Questions are welcome :)

- Atalia ZeePosted byArtlessTruthat5:42 AMNo comments: Email ThisBlogThis!Share to TwitterShare to FacebookShare to PinterestLabels:Acceptance,Christian,Free,Homosexuality,Love,No Homo Wednesday, June 18, 2014 I AM NOT A PERISHABLE PRODUCTIwas not born with a best before date stamped on my forehead.
Your expiry date is fastapproaching.I had pretty much tuned my aunt outbut that last sentence struck a nerve. It took every ounce of willpower I hadto bite my tongue. Ever since I turned 18 everyrelative [male and female] had taken it upon himself or herself to remind methat the time for marriage was getting closer. I had been given a deadline, adeadline I have been aware of since grade school. I dread family reunionsbecause the conversations are always the same:
- Me: Hello Aunty. How are you?- Relative: Hello, my dear.So wheres your boyfriend? (Insert eye roll)- Me: I dont have a boyfriend Aunty.-Relative: Ah!At your age? Better hurry up and find someone before all the good men aretaken. Shebi, you know what to lookfor in a man?- Me: YesAunty, I do.- Relative: Thatsgood. {Then comes the rant about my expiry date) (Insert plausible excuse to escapeconversation)
For many years it has been hammeredinto my head the kind of things I should look for in a man.
Intelligence Very important. Youare going to have children with this man and you dont want stupid children doyou?
Ambition Make sure the man has asuitable amount of ambition; not too much and not too little. You want a man whoworks hard and still makes time for you. A man with a degree in a reputablecourse like medicine, law or engineering is acceptable. Stay away from theartists and poets; they dont put food on the table. A starving artist is notan ideal man.
Religion Find a man who sharesyour faith. It makes life easier.
Family Research his familyhistory. Is there a history of mental or physical illness in his family? Is ita gene thing or might they be cursed? Either way if you find anythingsuspicious, Run!
Race Not an issue, as long as heticks all the other boxes he can be black, white or brown.
Beauty Attractive but not too attractive.You dont want to spend the better part of your day chasing away women with astick when you both go out.
Decency Find a man that has agood heart and a kind spirit. A gentleman. Life is already difficult enoughwithout the additional burden of an abusive husband.
Height 6ft Plus. Not arequirement but highly recommended.
These are not bad traits to lookfor in a man. I am assuming that most mothers want specific traits for theirdaughters. My problem isnt with the list because I know my family wants thebest for me. My problem is the endlesshounding. I am just 20! Can I live? This is the time of my life when I shouldbe living it up and discovering who I am and having fun with different people.I would like to get through a day, a week, a month without some nosy personasking me if Ive found my husband yet.
Twenty-five. I was told that 25 isthe ideal age to get married and by thirty five I should have given birth toall my children. A minimum of four children because two is too small a numberand three is an uneven number so four children would be perfect. I always wondered who came up withthese numbers. 25. 35. 4. The golden numbers of marriage and everything thatcomes after that.
Chimamanda the renowned Nigerianwriter in her Tedx talk, which was featured on a song in Beyoncés new album, asked,Why do we teach girls to aspire to marriage ad why dont we teach boys thesame. I remember hearing that sentence and nodding my head vigorously and wonderingwhy? In 2014 shouldnt things be different? We are no longer living in the olddays when women were expected to stay at home and care for the kids. The roleof women in the world has drastically changed but like many things in lifethere is always room for improvement. Why is our value as womeninextricably tied to the men we marry, the kids we have and the homes we keep. Dont our other achievements count for anything?What about the lives we changed and the people we help? Do good deeds count? Isit possible for a woman to live a fulfilled life without a husband and a child?
Let me tell you a story. This is aconversation that took place at a wedding I recently attended. I amparaphrasing in some instances but the gist of the story is the same. Lets callthe women Red Lips and Devils Advocate.
The brides aunty was giving aspeech during the reception. I was seated at a table with nine other people butno one was paying attention to the brides aunt. All eyes were on a woman withridiculously arched eyebrows and blood red lips who was dishing out gossip toher friend in a fake whisper voice, making it obvious she wanted everyone tohear. From the mischievous glint in her eyes it was clear that she was enjoyingbeing the center of attention, enjoying tearing a woman to pieces with herwords. Everyone at the table was hanging on to her words although we pretendedto be preoccupied with other things.Red Lips said, You know herhusband left her because she didnt want to have any children.What if she was unable to have children?It might be a medical condition. Devils advocate said, clearly enjoying herrole.Red lips shook her head and said,No. It was a choice. She doesnt want kids. She didnt even want to marry inthe first place. It was her family that pressured her to marry him and the manonly agreed because she was rich.But didnt she tell him she didntwant kids before they married? Devils advocate askedShe did but he thought he couldchange her mind. He left her when he realized that she was serious about it.Can you imagine? What kind of woman doesnt want a husband and children? Olorun maje. And shes so pretty too.It just such a shame. Red lips turned away from her friend to eye the woman.Everyone at the table followed withtheir eyes, casting surreptitious glances at the lady who was the target of gossip.Do you know shes an engineer? Shehas accomplished a lot. Devils advocate saidEhen? And so? Is her engineering degree going to love her and takecare of her when shes older? Red lips sneered derisivelyDevils advocate shrugged andsilently sipped her champagne as she continued to watch the woman. What struck me most about the womanRed Lips was talking about was how much she sounded like my favorite characterfrom Greys Anatomy, Dr. Cristina Yang, an accomplished heart surgeon, withnumerous accolades and achievements. Christina is a woman who knows what she wantsand what she doesnt want and she had always known she didnt want children. Itwas something she had always been upfront about in her relationships. The menalways claimed to be okay with, adopting a love conquers all stance but alas lovefailed to conquer all. Christinas choice to not have children eventuallycaused a rift in her relationships, when the men realized that nothing couldmake her change her mind. I realize that the problem the menhad, the problem society as a whole has, is lack of understanding and respectof other peoples choices. Its like we are incapable of putting ourselves inthe shoes of others and looking at things from their perspective. Millions of women around the worldare incapable of giving birth for various reasons. They want children and sothey undergo the rigorous adoption process or IVF treatments and otherfertility treatments. Because these women struggle with fertility issues, somepeople look at women who can give birth but choose not to as ungrateful,selfish and cold. Bringing a child into this worldshouldnt be something you do because society expects it from you. Childbirthis a glorious thing and every child should be brought into this world knowingthat its loved, cared for but mostly wanted. I wont pretend to understand womenwho claim to have no maternal instinct and want no children of their own,because I really dont understand it. I have always wanted children. As a kid Iused to play mummy with my dolls and teddies. So although I might not understandwhy a woman would not want children, I respect it. A child is a hugeresponsibility and carrying a human being inside your body for nine months is aVERY big deal. I respect a woman who recognizes the enormity of thatresponsibility and knows herself enough to realize that she would be unable tobe the kind of mother a child deserves.
That being said, my expiry date isfast approaching (only 5 years away) and I shouldprobably be outside searching for my future husband or in the kitchen brushingup on my cooking skills. #WifeyMaterial. (Insert eye roll)
P.S If you havent already noticedI am a professional eye roller
Thank you for reading. Comments andcriticisms are welcome as always J

- Atalia Zee

Posted byArtlessTruthat9:51 AMNo comments: Email ThisBlogThis!Share to TwitterShare to FacebookShare to Pinterest HomeSubscribe to:Posts (Atom)Blog ArchiveJune (2)

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