Cinema Schminema | Id rather be watching THIS!

Time 2020-11-19 20:05:13

Web Name: Cinema Schminema | Id rather be watching THIS!

WebSite: http://cinemaschminema.com

ID:121121

Keywords:

Id,Schminema,Cinema,

Description:

So, I was sent this film a couple of times and finally found time to check it out. It came with the description:The film follows a week in the life of a young woman who freelances for strange men throughout New York City.I think a more apt description would have been:The film follows a young woman as she rides in taxis, takes the subway, walks around the city, puts on makeup, brushes her hair, and oh yeah, occasionally works as a sex worker.Not kidding, half of this film is just the woman in taxis, walking around the streets, and in the subway.A quarter of it is makeup hair and the final quarter is a handful of random men that she either fucks, robs, or otherwise fills some kind of need for. Guy 1 wants to do a reverse Bill Cosby (he drugs himself and she takes advantage); Guy 2 she just fucks; Guy 3 is I don t even know, either he s her actual (married) boyfriend or he just needs her to step in and pretend to have a conversation about not loving him; Guy 4 is, I think, Guy 2 again (either way they fuck); and Guy 5 likes to have his hair stroked while being told he s a piece of shit.The entirety of this film it s seems Carly doesn t want to be doing what she s doing (despite the odd, random conversation with Guy 3 about how these are mutual relationships she s having with these guys where they both get something). She cries, stares mournfully out taxi windows, gets drunk and gets sick, and barely says a word. So, I m not sure why she s doing it? Since there s no indication she s having any fun, maybe it s an this economy sucks thing? She doesn t work with a group, so the choice seems to be entirely up to her. Kinda confusing.Overall, this is just not a film that works. It s dull, the group of men is forgettable, and there s seemingly no motivations for our main character. Maybe if everyone wasn t so one-note, it would be a bit better. (And it would definitely be better without all the traveling around the city shots.) I dunno, guys. Miss Freelance just doesn t really have a point. Not one I can recommend.Miss Freelance Trailer from Matthew Kyle Levine on Vimeo. If I ve said it once, I ve said it a million times unless you want to be brutally murdered or horribly violated, don t go summoning demons, y all. Unfortunately, the peeps in Soul to Keep did NOT heed this advice so sucks to be them. Well, until it doesn t so much?Two siblings invite friends to their inherited, remote country home, but the fun stops when the group summons a demonic force from an old spellbook.Let s summon demons, they said. It ll be fun, they said.A complete list of my thoughts throughout this movie:Oi, why is this opening sequence with demonic photos so freaking long. Like, I GET it demons.I really like the fact there’s a deaf character and everyone uses sign. New element to a tale as old as time.Of course one guy is a vlogger. What would demonic summoning be without video evidence?Pop-Pop kept his basement locked always nothing suspicious there.Is Thumper a real game?Oh snap, child giggling. Yes, let’s follow the sound of random little girl giggling. I m sure that will end well for you.Wait, it was a vision?Blah, blah, drinking, drugs, dancing, sex, blah.I can’t keep track of the relationships here. Dark Wiccan is dating Steroid Addict Baseball Player but likes Mousy Girl? And I think there’s a brother/sister somewhere?Creepy shadows, non-existent little girl praying, and Mousy Girl doing the Dean Winchester-patented “one tear” thing because…?I shall stand here and shed a tear.Oops, power’s gone out.Yay, let’s go to the scary basement in the dark!Ooohhh, secret room in the basement with blood and demon summoning stuffs. Oh, Pop-Pop. Whatever were you up to down here?Dark Wiccan girl: Dude, look a grimoire to summon Beelzebub AND a way to summon his legions! This is, like, super bad. Everybody else: We should totes do it!Somebody has to be the vessel for the demon to possess. Sounds reasonable. I bet it s super safe.So, they just half-assed the spell and everybody quit, but it seems Dark Wiccan girl is gonna do it all on her own. If she’s possessed, who’s going to do the reversal spell?? Does anyone else even speak Latin and/or the made-up language of Beezie?Hey, demon! Bye, Dark Wiccan girl!Move along, nothing to see here!Why has no one noticed Dark Wiccan turning in circles for the past 5 minutes looking like she’s about to scream? Like, how wasted are they?Aw, demon has the munchies. That’s cute. Pouring pancake syrup directly into one’s mouth is just gross though.Is Beezie just gonna seduce everyone to death?Breathplay apparently makes Freddy the vlogger go off in two seconds.Arrggh, finally, some real demon action. Beezie just needed to get off too and since the boys are two-pump chumps, masturbation it was.There’s a whole thing with a balloon being able to help Tara, the deaf girl, feel the vibrations of the music it seems it enables her to “hear” the demon shoving a tentacle (???) down Freddy’s throat too.Freddy’s not dead, that’s nice. Just possessed.Why does no one ever summon demons sober? Like, these guys are way too fucking wasted to deal with this shit.Jesus, demons are horny bastards. Beezie is a prince of hell not a bloody succubus, you guys!Demons were too busy fucking to kill anyone last night, so now the un-possessed peeps get to deal with this hungover instead of wasted. I guess that s an improvement Aw, barely mentioned chick got tentacled whilst meditating.Freddy s just hangin round.Fina-fucking-ly, Beezie is getting started. She just bit baseball player’s ear off.Dark Wiccan girl’s boyfriend is a fucking tool, man.Oopsie, exorcism didn’t work.Wait, why can demons not open locked doors? What kind of nonsense is that?So, not only do the cars not work, but there’s an invisible barrier around the whole land the home s on.Demon astral projection. Sweet.Yay, douche-boy has been tentacled.Oh, yeah. Preparing for war rifles sleeping potions cooked up by DJ the druggie. I m positive this will be highly successful.Deaf Girl’s boyfriend is Mousy Girl’s brother and he’s decided it’s a grand idea to go face Beezie in the basement alone. Obvs, he got tentacled within a whole 3 seconds.The sister, Mousy Girl, has been behind it the whole time? When did she make a deal?? Oohhhh, she killed Pop-Pop all those years ago?? Because she wanted Dark Wiccan girl? Wow, sis is sneaky.That’s right! There WAS a random mention of sis getting locked in the basement once when she was a kid. So, she got possessed by Beezie then? Partially possessed? And Beezie made her fall in love with Dark Wiccan girl b/c Beezie loved Dark Wiccan girl? (Apparently, Mousy DW have been friends for life.) This is so confusing.Seriously, guys, this is why it’s a bad idea to make deals with demons. You just can t trust the bastards.Oh no! Big bad demon found me in the barn, guess I’ll run to the basement of the barn to hide then. They ll never find me there!Oh dear, sis just got killed via fingers in the eyes.Go Deaf Girl with the photographic memory!I remember everything I read, which is gonna save your asses later.Wait, is everybody actually alive then? Sweet.Uh-oh. Looks like Dark Wiccan girl might still be just a tad possessed. I bet it ll all be okay though. Totes.In summary and conclusion, this isn t the worst 20-somethings summon demons in cabin for fun click here to find out more! movie in the world. The addition of sign language to the movie and a character who can t bloody hear when demons attack was highly enjoyable (her being the Final Girl was great, too). The twist at the end with the extra backstory now available! was interesting, if kind of ultimately confusing. And though the entire movie hinted at Mousy Girl being shady, I didn t realize she d been having a decades long affair with a Prince of Hell to win the hand of her childhood friend or what the fuck ever. So, yeah. If demon summoning is your thing, totes worth a watch! Coup de Cinema is about a group of filmmakers at a production company hijacking the film they re all working on because man, does it ever suck and we re tired of making crappy films, so let s heist it to make it not of the suck . Sounded fun film within a film, deliberately bad acting because the film they re originally working on is so god awful good stuff! It ended up being pretty cute too totes adorbs as I like to say. There were a few less cute moments, however, that weighed it down a bit.A film crew hijacks their company s current production and improves it behind the director s back.How dare you suggest we would heist your movie? We call shenanigans!Let s start with the good:Buster Owens is the BEST. He s the guy in the red jacket vest thing up above and he is my favorite character here. The actor is wonderful and his character is honest, for a lack of a better way to put it. He rings true. Totes love him.I love how this film conveys the sense of fun passion involved in film-making. You need both to make a film and this has it in spades. I also enjoyed the involvement of the pretentious assholes because, man, do you run across those in the film/theatre community. The representation of film-making is pretty spot on is what I m saying.The film within a film is HILARIOUS. Like, I m not entirely sure what the plot is but it involves some Indiana Jones-ish character, a damsel in distress, ninjas (I think?), a jungle, and terrible dialogue. I would SO watch that movie.The director of the original terrible movie is so delightfully clueless and arrogant. He has some great one-liners maybe it s not working because they re in an evergreen forest in winter and they re supposed to be in a jungle? Director: no. no, that s not it .I am the best character in this movie. K, thx, baiNow, for the not necessarily bad, but things I liked less:One character starts out sounding distinctly NOT Scottish, but by the end is very Scottish?? Am unsure if my hearing has gone to shit or if that was a thing. While confusing, I definitely enjoyed his later accent.At one point, the heisting crews video files all get deleted from the computer. They go to great lengths to recover it (stalking a foot chase around town), but I couldn t help thinking Why don t they just recover it from the computer itself? Nothing is ever truly gone, even if you delete it. That would ve been way less work. There are definitely some silly elements happening in this film, none more so than the ending. The melodrama is laid on thick and it was a little much. As much of a dick as the clueless director was, what he does at the end seems a bit over the top and not entirely in character? And then everything is resolved fairly quickly which is a bit unrealistic. Aww, you just tried to commit violence at me? It s cool, man. Totes. is basically what happened.I hate the main character, Miles. I legitimately and adamantly did not like him. He s an asshole. What made me dislike him most though was the running theme of him liking a friend of his. I have no idea if this was his best friend or a former girlfriend or a new friend that wasn t clear. What was clear was that he dug her, heisted the movie to impress her, and was a total jerk to her. Not only did he throw a tantrum when he found out she had a boyfriend and didn t like him (seriously grow tf up dude) but he was kind of a jerk to her the whole time. He insulted her livelihood, ffs. I wouldn t go out with him either.The whole Miles likes his friend plotline felt entirely unnecessary. It didn t add anything to the film; it was kind of distracting tbh. We kept getting scenes every once in awhile of them talking awkwardly on the phone and it took away from the actual heist story. I don t know if it was just used so she could be the catalyst for Miles wanting to heist the film in the first place, but I think there could have easily been another catalyst that fit into the overarching themes much more smoothly. I think Miles being what the actual bloody hell kind of films is this production company making? Oh god, oh god, my eyes. was really reason enough to heist a film to make it better.Not interested, dude. You re kinda a jerk.So. Overall, Coup de Cinema is a fun film. It had a lot going on for it, but there were definitely elements that needed some work. The majority of the characters were a blast, Buster Owens is a doll, and I m glad I watched it. Just, maybe next time make the main character a bit more likeable.The film is currently on Amazon Prime Video, so you can watch it for FREE! Go on, hop on over and check it out. (Just be sure to yell at Miles a lot like I did. ;)) I’m not sure what I just watched but I do know that this movie has, like, almost every horror movie icon ever in it. And really, that’s its only redeeming feature.During an exclusive tour, a power breakdown inside a secret prison known as the Death House sends two agents fighting through a labyrinth of horrors while being pursued by a ruthless army of roaming inmates. As they fight to escape, the agents push toward the lowest depths of the facility, where they learn a supernatural group of evil beings may be their only chance for survival.Written by Gunnar Hansen, and apparently based on Dante s Inferno, Death Houseinvolves a really weird-ass evil prison with 9 levels, immortal super-evil beings, skinless people, a helluva lot of cannibalism, plus Dee Wallace, Kane Hodder, Barbara Crampton, Bill Moseley, Richard Speight Jr., Felissa Rose, Sid Haig, and more. If it wasn t for the fact that it makes not a lick of sense till you read the Wikipedia explanation of it, it d actually be pretty awesome.Not one of the Five Evils, just evil at its finest.We start with 2 FBI agents (I think?) visiting the super-secret, evil prison to uh well okay, so the prison uses virtual reality to uh help the prisoners re-live their crimes? Not very clear on that part, but they do kidnap homeless people off the streets and dress them up as prisoners former victims so they can kill them again. So, anyway, back to the 2 agents. They seem to be there to tour the prison but they also get to do virtual reality simulations in order to slay their demons (as it were). After they re done fake-killing (I think?) their past, they go throughout the prison and see prisoners being experimented on and the aforementioned homeless people dosed outta their minds so they re complacent enough to be slaughtered.But, at the same time, there s some random guy running around outside eviscerating a guard and planting a device in him. Then while Lloyd Kaufman (bless him) is operating on said guard, the device causes a power outage that shuts down the prison so the prisoners can escape? (Because, obvs, super-secret, evil prisons are really just that simple to take over. Apparently.)This leads to the agents Dee Wallace being trapped in an elevator and Dee s all We re dead and the agents are all Nah, really? and then there s a bunch of skinless people who are also cannibals (this is in addition to the other cannibals elsewhere). The skinless people are apparently very sad (and are super gross).We re gonna die, aren t we? Nah, it s totes good.There s a group of prisoners headed to the basement to meet the Five Evils when they became a thing, I have no idea, they were just suddenly there who are supernatural, super-evil, super-villain baddies? Maybe? I don t know. I just do not know. And then there s an Indiana Jones and The Temple Of Doom moment. And uh a whole bunch of people end up dying and the agents aren t who they think they are and maybe super-evil is released into the world??Meet the Five Evils, the baddest of the baddiesIt s so chaotic. Like, lawless chaotic, not good chaotic. Parts of it were too dark to see (although considering those skinless peeps, that s maybe a good thing) and the dialogue was all over the place and, just, what the fuck? Y all, I had to write a paper in college comparing the architecture of a Gothic cathedral to the architecture of Dante s Inferno and it made hella more sense than this.This one is okay for the nostalgia factor but, otherwise, I suggest just visiting Hell itself it s bound to be more fun. Opened on March 1st, 2050, which stars an ensemble cast that includes Dean Cain (Supergirl, Lois Clark), has been playing on just one single screen (AMC Atlantic Times Square 14) in Los Angeles. By Sunday, the film’s ticket sales were rivaling studio releases and Oscar-nominated films including Tyler Perry’s Madea, Greta, and How to Train Your Dragon, and on Sunday, outside of the latter film, 2050 had outperformed them all. AMC wasted no time and immediately held the film over until at least the 14th of March. The film will open in Baltimore at AMC’s Owings Mills 17 on March 15th.Said executive producer Henry Hewes, “By Sunday we beat all of the big guys. At one point, the theater told us we were neck and neck with How to Train Your Dragon on Sunday night. That s just crazy.”2050, is about a family man struggling to hold it all together who discovers a warehouse that may hold the solution…sexbots. Premiering at sci-fi film festivals around the world including Berlin, Austin, and Boston, the film has taken home over 11 awards.2050, distributed theatrically by ANERKE, will expand into other major markets over the spring via theater chains that include AMC and others.Hmmm color me intrigued. Also, hello, Dean Cain fancy meeting you here!  Let me preface this by saying that the only reason I watched this (the ONLY reason) was because of the title.

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