Silicon Valley Moms Blog
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keywords:Silicon Valley, moms, blog, mommy blog, parent blog, moms, moms groups description:A Byte of Silicon Valley Life Silicon Valley Moms Blog HomeAbout UsSubscribe July 06, 2010 5 Stages of Grief: Saying goodbye to SVMomsby Angela O.
Perhaps you’ve heard of Dr. Kubler-Ross’s five stages of grief, a framework for helping patients with terminal illnesses understand the psychology of dealing with death. While coming to terms with the end of the Silicon Valley Mom’s Group isn’t even near the same ballpark, much less in it, by looking askance at this framework I thought maybe I could find a new way to process my feelings of grief and loss. (Lest you think I’m being mean, or that I’ve really gone off the deep end, the following psychological break-down is tongue-in-cheek.) It went something like this:
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| Permalink | Comments (6) July 05, 2010 Packing Up (for Vacation and) My SVMOMS BlogsIts the end of an era - Im packing up for vacation, and at the same time this is my last blog EVER as a contributing writer to theSilicon Valley Moms Blog. Its not my last blog because Im packing up and leaving the team.Au contraire. Itsdue to the startling announcement from theSVMOMS executive board that they havedecided to end this journey as a company and as a mom blogging community.
When I received news from co-founderJill, along with the rest of the writers for this wonderful national blog, I was startled. Ive enjoyed bloggingfor them for the past year and a half. So much of my heart is poured into each entry; my blogs are pieces of my soul captured in writing. Hearing this news is like a death - of everyones heartfelt, amusing, entertaining, educational and sometimes bitter, but always honest essays about life as a parent. It provides a release to put meaning to our lives in these regular blogs. They are all tid bits about life, observations, memories.
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| Permalink | Comments (2) July 02, 2010 Family VacationIt is hard to believe that school is but a memory. The temperatures have quickly elevated such that I lie on top of the bedspread instead of snuggled beneath the covers. My nightly ritual of watching dandy shows like Toddlers Tiaras and Wipeout with my kids is now done with the big window wide open, with the drapes pushed aside to allow maximum breeze. I sleep in. In fact, my husband will tell you that I sleep waaaaay in, now that I dont have to drive the kids to before-school Spanish lessons at 7:30am.
The one thing that isnt on our summer slate is a family vacation. Why? Well, we didnt procrastinate: the very same day school let out, we took off for the Mouse House. Sure, the kids were tired, but we all know that even the thought of vacation sends us all into alternating emotional states of panic, excitement, fear, and exhaustion. So why not just jump right in?
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| Permalink | Comments (6) July 01, 2010 I'm Not Dumb...I want Respect!I really, really wanted to have my last post at SV Moms be a super sugary sweet look back at my time here. I was hoping to touch on the good, the bad and the ugly. I wanted to embrace, enjoy and feel the Mommy Blogger love I have sort of evaded my entire blogging career. But, then the hand of God......er, my right hand while I was watching The Daily Show I checked my blackberry and I read this article on Blogher. These days, I do more reading and less commenting - but um, well I feel the need to comment on this one. I sort of think this is my last swan song to everyone, you can all thank me (or stone me) later.
If you did click on over and read the Blogher post you might know where this is going,or if you aretoo lazy thenlet me help ya out and catch you up to speed. Robert Pattinson of the Twilight series.....hold onI am blushing, andlet me catch my breath and remind myself I am 40 and he is....ewwww, okay I am back. While speaking to Entertainment Weekly forhis upcoming Eclipse cover story, Robert Pattinsonmade a comment about Kristen Stewart’s comments last month, where she compared the paparazzi to rapists(totally gross statement, I agree - but not what I am here to discuss). While Kristen saw the error in herstatement and she even apologizedfor it, Edward, eek I mean Robert Pattinsonmade a statement about thecomment;“That whole system of Internet journalists, where no one is called to account, is almost entirely about hate,” he said “All these people get away with doing it because they have no responsibility to anyone… there are so many little nerds behind their computers, on their little blogs.”
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June 30, 2010 Desperately teaching my kids how to loseOkay, how many of you have this problem? My kids HATE to lose! Mention any competitive game in which theres a winner or a loser and they run for the hills! Connect Four, Candyland, Wii... it matters not! My husband and I are devotees of Stanford psychologist Carol Dwecks finding that you praise for effort, not results. It changed our parenting when we read the New York Magazine article. Praising for skill or innate ability only leads to fear of failure, and hence, actual failure. Praising fo effort leads to increased effort, and hence, eventual success. We actually practice what she preaches! You rarely catch us saying Yay, you got so many blue ribbons! We try to say, Wow, you worked really hard!
Obviously, nature sometimes doesnt want to conform to nurture. I tried to be supportive and encourage, but not force them into competitive situations. Well thats changing. The last straw came for me though when my 7-year old daughter accused her 5-year old cousin of cheating when the cousin beat her in a Wii game. My daughter claimed she wasnt ready and that her cousin started early. Well, sorry honey, but you had to click the A button to start the game!
So heres my radical and probably controversial new approach... no, new edict! We must play a competitive game everyday, no exceptions, no complaints and no tears! I have my 7-year old and 4.5-year old go against each other... there will be a winner and a loser. The loser must say congratulations to the winner, and the winner must say thanks, good game to the loser. Until they can come up with their own gracious statements, they can stick to the script. I appraise both for their efforts and give them stickers in they were good sports. If theres any crying, whining or tantrums... they lose play privileges.
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Wanted: A Place to Blog With MomsThe Silicon Valley Moms Group recently announced it will be closing its blogging doors at the end of July. A press release quotes SV Moms group founder Jill Asher as saying “considering the needs of our 400-strong writer group and those of our customers and advertisers, the business is not sustainable without additional financial support.” All 13 regional sites are affected.
To which I say: how sad!
I’ve been involved with the Silicon Valley Moms for two years now. In that time, I’ve enjoyed hearing the perspective of moms in Silicon Valley on topics such as local schools, competitive soccer, parenting, shopping, volunteering, traveling, health care, sex.
The collective blogging voice of this group was strong.
SV Moms provided a focal place for me to interact closely online and in real life with a great group of mom writers. Not only in Silicon Valley. I also met moms (some vitually, some in real life) from the Deep South Moms blog, LA Moms blog, Rocky Mountain moms blog, Chicago Moms blog, et al.
On top of all that, Silicon Valley Moms Group gave me a unique place to share my male perspective, letting me, a blogging single dad, write for the group.
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June 29, 2010 Saying Goodbye to Old FriendsThe world has become a pretty small place and most of us move around a lot. We move away for school or a new job, and most people I know have friends across the country and around the globe. But even with cell phones and instant messages, email, Facebook and Twitter, I find it difficult to maintain close friendships with people who live far away.
I had a dear friend in business school. We had great times together, as roommates in New Haven and going to New York City whenever we could. After graduation, I moved back to L.A., he went to the city. I visited as often as I could, and he would come to California. But time passed. I met someone and so did he. I had kids and couldn’t just come visit for the weekend anymore. This was not a romantic relationship, so there was no break up, but just a gradual drifting apart. I still think about him often, but we aren’t really in touch any more.
Another friend of mine moved back to her home town of Albuquerque when her father was ill. As his health improved, rather than return to California, she and her family moved to Texas to follow a job and less expensive real estate. We were close almost from the day we met and I pictured us in the same town, taking our kids to the park together and having family barbecues. We do still talk and email, but it’s not like before. She has never met my kids, and I’ve met her daughter, going on four years old, just once.
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June 25, 2010 Happiness is a State, Not a Location We only lived in
One day, I wasliving the
Four weeks later, Iwas driving my husband to the airport so he could start his new job in
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June 24, 2010 When it takes a long time to heal ...I wonder?When I was a kid and broke my arm while being chased on my tricycle, I never remembered thinking it would take a long time heal. In fact I thought the cast was cool, even though I screamed bloody murder each time I was presented to the X-ray machine, or doctor, because there was some type of table to lay on. I was only 4 or 5 years old at the time. You must remember, some 45 years ago, hospitals were never kid friendly, nor did the instrumentation seem that fun either. When I was in second grade, I kept hoping to get better from yellow jauntis, so I could return to class. That took a few months at least, and then it was over. Now as an adult I flip flop between hurry up and fix it and the patience and wisdom of avoiding surgery and exercising. Dam I hate thepractical part and being patient...but it is thewise thing to do.
Fast forward, to today, and I am three and a half years into rehabbing a ruptured disk. My daughter was three when the incident happened. She still remembered it, she said, Mom you fell when playing basketball, I saw you through the window. Yup that was how it happened, a slow leaning tower of pizza tumble and it felt like tissue paper tearing in my back. Yes it was more painful after the
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June 23, 2010 Girl in Translation by Jean Kwok: A SV Moms Group Book ClubTransplanted from Hong Kong to New York City as a (very poor) young girl with her mother, Ah-Kim or Kimberley, struggled to make things better for her family, to learn English, to walk the line between traditional Chinese duties and the Americanized teenager she grew into.Join us today as we discuss the book Girl in Translation by Jean Kwok.
Here are what the SV Moms Group contributors ave to say today, all inspired by the bookGirl in Translation:
Marinka fromMotherhood in NYC tells her immigration story in America, BabyPamela from2 Much Testosterone felt empoweredEmily from Mama Sick has hope for her sonSharon fromChanneling Ricky recognizes her own childhood embarrassmentVanessa fromChefdruck Musings goes for a taste of AmericaApril fromIts All About Balance is a girl in gratitudeEmily Paster from West of the Loop examines secrets below the surfaceMelanie fromtales from the crib just wanted to fit inElena fromCara Mamma reflects on dreaming bigLisa H. fromHannemaniacs has aunts just like Aunt PaulaAlma fromMarketing Mommy had culture shockKristine fromMommy Needs Therapy or a Bottle of Wine was moved by the reality of immigrants who come to the U.S. for a better lifeRox fromRox and Roll has thoughts about honorJulie fromJust Precious opens her eyes in her own neighborhoodJen B fromAnybody Want A Peanut? tries to translate autismSilicon Valley Moms Blog is hosting the book club discussion this month. Please leave a comment below tojoin in the discussion.
Past SV Moms Group Book Clubs have included:
I am Nujood, Aged 10 and Divorced by Nujood AliThe Body Scoop for Girlsby Dr. Jennifer AshtonJust Let Me Lie Downby Kristin van Ogtrop, Editor of REAL SIMPLE magazineNational Geographics Green Guide Familiesby Catherine ZandonellaTop 100 Finger Foods and Top 100 Baby Pureesby Annabel KarmelThe Possibility of Everythingby Hope EdelmanThe Mominatrixs Guide to Sexby Kristen ChaseCoco Chanel Igr Stravinskyby Chris GreenhalghSee Mom Runby Beth FeldmanClose Encounters of the Third-Grade Kindby Phillip DoneThis is Where I Leave Youby Jonathan TopperDo One Nice Thingby Debbie TenzerBirth Dayby Mark Sloan, M.D.What Happened to the Girl I Married?by Michael MillerTestimonyby Anita ShreveComfort Foodby Kate JacobsMuch to Your Chagrinby Suzanne Guilette
It Started with Pop-Tartsby Lori HansonWho By Fireby Diana SpechlerThe White Trash Moms Handbookby Michelle LamarWriting Motherhoodby Lisa GarriguesThe Vaccine Bookby Dr. Robert W. SearsThe Other Motherby Gwendolen GrossClickhereto read all about the SV Moms Group Book Club.
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June 22, 2010 Get With the Game, America!The World Cup tournament has kicked off, and just like we did four years ago (and every four years before that), our family has been following the tournament closely, watching at least one match a day, following the other matches online, painstakingly writing each matchs score on our World Cup poster and testing our knowledge of probability to the limits by figuring out possible outcomes for our favorite teams (if Brazil draws with Portugal and Ivory Coast beats North Korea by more than 2 points, can they get past the Group of Death?). As always, theres no shortage of emotion at the World Cup -- this years tournament is already full of surprises (Switzerland beat Spain!), disappointments (England hasnt won a match yet!), controversies (Why was that third US goal against Slovenia disallowed??) and scandals (Two words: French team). The nicest surprise is how well Team USA is doing; no one thought theyd have a chance, but the team managed to hold England to a tie and came back from a 2-goal deficit to tie Slovenia in the most exciting match in the tournament so far. If they beat Algeria tomorrow they stand a good chance of moving on to the next round, and who knows how far they could go?
If only the rest of the United States would notice. When we turn the tv off and head out into the streets, the lack of interest in the worlds most popular game could not be more apparent. This stuff makes headlines in every other nation on earth, but around here World Cup stories get buried deep in the sports pages of newspapers, and our local TV news barely gives the tournament five minutes of air time, let alone gives it a regular spot. When Mia Hamm, Brandi Chastain and the rest of the US Womens Team won the Womens World Cup in 1999, I thought for sure that football would finally start gaining traction in the US, but Im not sure Im seeing it.
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Comp Soccer. It's Complicated.Last winter, my husband took our son, Gobez, age 7, and daughter Didi, age 8, to try out for U9 competitive soccer. Both kids easily made their respective teams, and we committed them both -- and our family as a whole -- to a year-round program involving professional coaches, hours of practice, World Cup-worthy uniforms, weekend traveling tournaments, strained muscles, and a vocal collection of parents who really want the teams to win.
I feel like we have opened Pandoras box.
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June 18, 2010 Yes, the cyber playground has bullies - Teach kids cyber safetyBullies exist in nearly every stage of life,with or without access to the Internet. I believe that having regulardiscussions with your children can be an opportunity to get closer to yourchild and help them navigate the choppy waters of life, especially now that welive in a digital world. There will always be people you don’t like or thatdon’t like you. The same applies to your children. There will always bebullies. The question is can you help your child/children identify a bully andbe aware how not to do the same to someone else? I am happy to see that our publicschool embraces this topic. Earlier this year there was a very good assembly froma troop of two thespians that taught kids about passive and aggressive bullying.I attended, and I was impressed. I was able to discuss it later with mychildren and to help them spot when they were passively bulling one another.
MYEXPERIENCE REVEALED
I feel that there is just a lot of involvedparenting that needs to take place. Kids need to know you care and that you arethinking through these issues amongst many others to help keep them safe.Bullies may prevail and find new ways to be difficult but hopefully you canfind ways to instill in your child that they shouldn’t be victims.
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Archives Archives By Month Recent Posts Silicon Valley Moms Group Acquired By Technorati Media 5 Stages of Grief: Saying goodbye to SVMoms Packing Up (for Vacation and) My SVMOMS Blogs Family Vacation I'm Not Dumb...I want Respect! Desperately teaching my kids how to lose Wanted: A Place to Blog With Moms Saying Goodbye to Old Friends Happiness is a State, Not a Location When it takes a long time to heal ...I wonder? RecentComments Stephanie on Worrying Over Preschool Art Fraud El BIlson on An escape, 46 years in the making Briana on Family Vacation James Hawk on Pink Slips and Leprechauns James Hawk on Pink Slips and Leprechauns Jamie R Lentzner on One light bulb at a time....um okay. michelle on One light bulb at a time....um okay. michelle on One light bulb at a time....um okay. Pinkgurl on My SlutBrella English Translator on 5 Stages of Grief: Saying goodbye to SVMoms Categories 50-something moms blog About Adoption Akemi Alix American Idol Ana Angela O. April Fools Autism Best of Beth B. Birth & Adoption Stories Blogosphere Book Club Books Breastfeeding Byte Out of Life Chicago Moms Blog Community Outreach Current Affairs Darryle David DC Metro Moms Deals Deep South Moms Blog Earth/Environment Education Erica Exercise Fashion Fertility Food and Drink Games Geek fun Gina Giveaway Grace Grief Health Care Jamie Jen B Jennifer H Jessica Jill M. jmiranda Joelle Karianna Kimberly Kirsten Kirstn KristenSze Kriz Lia Linda Linsey Lisa Local News Los Angeles Moms Blog Maxine Meghan Michele Spring Fajeau Mom challenges Monica Music New Jersey Moms Blog Nicole NYC Moms Blog Paige Pamela W. Philadelphia Moms Blog Politics Preschool Rebecca Recalls Relationships Religion Roadtrip '08 Robyn Rox Samantha Fein Sandra Science Sept.11 Sexuality Sharon Sheila BD Shopping Sidney Silicon Valley Moms Group Simon Special Needs Sports Stacy Stacy P. Stephanie Tech talk Television The Economy Tina Topic Day Recap Travel Traveling Twins+ Web/Tech Receive the SV Moms Group NewsletterFor Email Newsletters you can trust
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