Every Fucking Website - Insert Keywords Here, Carl

Time 2020-11-18 07:03:10

Web Name: Every Fucking Website - Insert Keywords Here, Carl

WebSite: http://everyfuckingwebsite.com

ID:119761

Keywords:

Website,Fucking,Every,Let'shaveanotherfuckingmeetingaboutSEOinlightofwhatev

Description:

About Us EFW was established almost 6 months ago, so you know no one cares what's on this fucking page. This whole paragraph was just lorem ipsum for weeks until one of the investors noticed. We've already been through three CEO's and changed our business model twice, so thenotion that there is anyone here who can actually summarize our company's fucking offering is pretty ludicrous. Still - the agency said we needed to have an about page, so here you fucking go - half a paragraph we copied out of someone else's business plan:The company's marketing strategy rests on the belief that its products and services represent a value-added approach to interpreting, qualifying, and understanding the complexities of the computer industry and technology markets. To implement this strategy, the company intends to place paid advertising banners on strategic websites in the computer fields and to utilize search engine portal and general media advertising.Whaddya think? Pretty fucking believable, right? Also - check out those blurry-ass business people back there. They are clearly also doing business. So you know we mean fucking business. MFW With My Fucking Website, you no longer have to think. That's why we're here. Our multi dimensional offering will solve each and every one of your greatest life problems seamlessly.It'll probably be lossless too.The reason you're reading this is, some bunch of dick senior VP'sthought 3 sections looked a little light in the comps. So we threw in a slate where we would "flush out the offering". Theyate that shit up at the meeting, but it turns out what that actually means is "adding anotherbullshit 2 or 3 sentenceparagraph that get passed around until it hasbecome totally devoid of meaning and leaving itto die in a shit-tonof whitespace so it looks 'strong'." Sign Up Sign Up! Do It!**By clicking the button below, you are agreeing to all of our terms of service, our eula, our privacy policy, and all kinds of other shit. You're all ours now. We own your fucking DNA. We have fucking prima nocte rights on your spouse. Your kids are going to work in our sneaker factory. Generations hence, your forebears will curse your name and the day you clicked this button of ill omen, sentencing all those near you to human bondage and torment for the rest of time. Plus you get a fun panda sticker! Your password must be 9-13 characters in length and contain at least 2 numbers.And a punctuation mark.And 3 lower case vowels.Also, use an umlaut.Maybe you should just try 3v3ryFükin!a .Actually that sounds dumb, maybe something more metal. Like Güntherini98? . NEXT Welcome to your fucking website, which is the same fucking website only now we have your fucking email address, which we will use more often than we should to send you spam you don't want about products you don't care about.* *NOTE: This website did not, in fact, collect any personal information from you. That would be way too much trouble to go through for a dumb joke. And the watered-down, weaker, follow-up version of a dumb joke at that.

TAGS:Website Fucking Every Let'shaveanotherfuckingmeetingaboutSEOinlightofwh

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