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Coach Cultures Blog

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BlogIntroductionCultural differencesSome ideasKeen to find outQuote CulturesAbout me Wednesday, October 10, 2012 Identity: back to my whyHow are you? Whats it like to be back home? Is it difficult to re-adjust? These - and other much alike - are the type of questions we get to answer these days. Lovely, as at first it was impossible to answer any of them without hesitation. How are you? I dont know. Whats it like to come back after a year of work and travel abroad? You tell me. But as of now - after five weeks or so - some answers arise.

So yes, were back. It sure has been an amazing year. We got to travel, met inspiring people and felt - or actually had - serious amounts of time to go our own ways. Was it soul searching? Was it about finding our identities? No. That would suggest we lost them earlier; which we feel wasnt the case. Nevertheless our identities raged and roared this last year. Let me explain.

First of all, lets define identity. It differs from personality. Personality describes what you and me are like. Personality is about characteristics, such as shy, caring or outgoing. Identity tells us more about who you really are. Identity is also something we share with others: the people we identify with. Its both heart and soul. Its desire, its will, its creativity. Identity is how we feel, what we want and how we live.

Now this is what happened when we started travelling and living abroad. First of all, differences were everywhere. Those differences made it all the more clear to me what defines me versus others. Secondly, travelling appealed to desire and stimulated ideas. Whereas nothing was self-evident and patterns snapped, it got easier - and perhaps even necessary - to understand our own needs, to make decisions and to get creative. Why? To be happy, to be there and then, and to feel home in a turtle kind of way. My travel companion and me both experienced what you might call identity-clarity: a wonderful, strong self-sense which makes it easier to enjoy, to be determined and to connect to others and each other. This is who we are and this is how we see things. Plus: we started to identify with groups and people we never knew before. That's how identities change and develop.

And then we moved back in. We dropped the turtle shells and took up residence in a real house. Our house; home again. Immediately differences became less sharp. We felt less appeal to creativity and didnt want that much; as if it all suddenly seemed so self-evident again. What happened to uniqueness? What happened to willpower and ideas? For a few weeks it all flew out of the window. 'How are you?' I dont know But then identities re-emerged. And of course; life is as self-evident as we make it. When bored, isnt that just a lack of sufficient goals? Nevertheless the identity-clarity for most is less obvious in everyday life. Recognizable? It takes awareness. For that matter - identity-wise - travelling is easy.

And now? Now we just feel lucky to be able to merge identities: merge the traveller with the worker, merge ideals with home economics, merge the global with the local and so on. This actually is great. Today we hold new keys to make everyday life more desirable, better connected and more creative than before.

It also brought me back to why I started these blogs: coaching and culture. Both coaching and culture relate to identity: who are you? People with mixed identities - born and raised somewhere and living elsewhere - bring in a lot. First, second and third generation migrants hold a uniqueness that constantly appeals to their desires and creativity. It makes people stand out. This is what makes different identities so special to work with. They add to our everyday life, our work force, our work life and our personal lives. That includes differences and changes of patters that make us - in our turn - more aware of our own identity. I can identify with that. Diversity is so much more than just incorporating a few differences. Being around other peoples identity-clarity is both inspiring and contagious. On the other hand being different remains a serious challenge at times. A meaningful challenge: differences make sense. That is why putting Coach Cultures into practice inspires me.

Landing identities - www.coachcultures.org
Geplaatst doorSander van der Eijkop10:29 AM1 reactiesLabels:Coach Cultures,coaching,creativity,cultural differences,diversity,Europa,home,Identity,migration,Netherlands,personality,travel Tuesday, August 14, 2012 Seriously, what's wrong with losing?Cycling the Pyrenees, daydreaming took me to competing in the Tour the France. Every bike-day we get a little better. So how much faster are those professionals? And what if they carried similar bike-bags? Competitive illusions about degrading cycle-pros crossed my mind. These last few weeks - with the Olympics on the background anytime and anywhere, right after the Euro Soccer championships and the Tour de France - winning and results seemed extra important. The Olympics actually felt less about compete over triumph than before. A by-product of social media? If so, wouldnt that be a waste of positive energy, as every competition holds far more losers than winners? I find it interesting though. Life is very similar to sports in a sense that - whether its work, love, parenting, dating, games, science or sports - competition is never far. What makes us so competitive? Why is winning so huge? And - seriously - whats wrong with losing?

Winning and losing are two sides of the same coin. As long as we keep flipping the thing, the odds will change. But this is far from how we perceive it. Most of the time we actually think and feel winners are better. As a bonus we even include a whole lot more to that than what they won at. We tend to accredit all sorts of positive qualities to winners. Usain Bolt even claimed himself to be a legend. Contrary to when you lose. In that case, youd better be ready to face the critics. Once the coin flips, some people just cant wait to put you back into place. Twitter and Facebook are great support systems to celebrate winners and to ridicule (or in some cases even threaten) those who lose. It doesnt really matter if youre the Dutch soccer team or Tom Cruise; once you lose, people gather for hyenic laughs. These cheap seeds of defeat are already sown during winning.

The importance of winning starts early; when we are children. If we do well, we feel important to our group. Losing tends to be painful, as we often associate it with losing friends. Thats why parents practice both playing and winning and playing and losing. Many loving parents even become ever-lasting reassurance experts for their children in the event of loss. And practicing both winning and losing helps, as it makes competing a lot less stressful. In grown up life however, winning is also associated with power, fame and even stardom. Thats when losing gets even more difficult.

In Western society today - politics and media for example- winning and losing are continuously enlarged. Winning is romance and loss is tragedy. Just like Roman bread and circuses. The crowd seems addicted. In politics for example, were now fed with weekly intermediate polls; regardless whichever elections. Annoying and useless at least, but perhaps even dangerously influential. What are the effects of polls? Can we get a poll on how people act on this type of information?

Back to you and me. Just picture yourself as very much average for a minute. If you do so, its not hard to imagine how fear of loss - fear of tragedy - can hold you back, is it? By now, thats what the hyenas taught whole generations. Today, you need a serious amount of self-confidence to show your talents. Not bad for life coaches and other counsellors, but nevertheless a real shame, as best experiences and learnings are most often found in mistakes and loss. So why dont we make it easier on ourselves? Why dont we put Olympic compete over triumph into daily practice? Less focus on winning and losing would liberate a lot of potential. At work and studies, Im sure performance levels and talent development would benefit greatly from less status anxiety. Happy losers and hardly-ever winners, please step forward and spread the word how trying - without any immediate success - made your life bigger and better.

Unfortunately - from my perspective - dominant global cultures like US and China are heading the exact opposite way. Their institutions thrive on competition and winning. So you need to dare to be different. And if role-model losers step forward to help us lower peer pressure and status anxiety; appreciate it. For different results: less expectations and anxiety and more - in general - hope. And be sure the coins will flip. So for now, ignore the hyenas, enjoy and learn.

Seriously, what's wrong with losing? - www.coachcultures.org
Note: The way we look at winning and losing is cultural. In Boom with gloom I discussed Australians anxieties as a consequence of a booming economy. Booming unfortunately includes change and the risk of dropping out. This new uncertainty increases inequality and judgment: better, equal or less? Australian status anxiety roars these days. Japan is a different story. In A serious plea for mediocrity I wrote about their hierarchical society. A culture of accepting hierarchy makes it easier for Japanese to be less than the best.

Geplaatst doorSander van der Eijkop3:15 PM0reactiesLabels:Australia,China,competition,Japan,loser,losing,mediocrity,Olympics,peer group,polls,Pyrenees,receptivity,social network,status,US,winning Saturday, July 21, 2012 A gentle Basque spirit - or - how little we knowIn a bar in San Sebastian during the Soccer finals it was quite obvious; the Basques were not going crazy over Spain winning the European Championship. There was little cheering or better put: little audience. Since then, Basque country has been a surprising experience. How little do we know? As a European, Im sad to admit that possibly the only thing I actually knew about Basque country is ETA: Euskadi Ta Askatasuna. As a separatist and nationalist organization, ETA - Basque Homeland and Freedom - is held responsible for many killings and injuries over the last fifty years. ETA chose violence in their aim for independence, although last year they claimed a permanent ceasefire. Being here today, violent would probably be the last word I would come up with to describe the Basques.

Basque culture is very old and often thought to be one of the original European cultures. The people live in two countries - northwest Spain and southwest France - and have been around since before Indo-European people came to Europe approximately 5,000 years ago. The Basques have been here for a long time, and have lived through a lot of history. Even back in the Middle Ages, the Basques had a reputation for being violent and ferocious. They survived. During the regime of General Franco in Spain, the Basque language and culture were ruthlessly suppressed. Thats when resistance groups - such as ETA - formed. In the eighties, after Franco, three out of four Basque Provinces were unified as Basque Autonomous Community. Its inhabitants were granted limited autonomy, recognition of their language and culture, and control over their schools and police force. Nowadays, resistance is mostly about limited versus complete autonomy. Im happy to see limited autonomy - in combination with a healthy dose of Basque culture - clearly shows.

The first thing we noticed was the never-ending amount of playgrounds in Bilbao. There is lots of display of family life on the streets, not to mention the numerous friendly pet dogs. The streets feel soft and gentle. Violence is hard to imagine. Ive seldom met so many friendly faces in a row. Regardless the violence in Basque history the people have developed a personality that is far from violent. The Basques are said to have a cultural emphasis on non-violence in the resolution of personal conflicts. They like to distance themselves from Spanish machismo. Nationalist Basques are even proud to say they are not from a 'bloodthirsty culture like the Spaniards'. Basque boys are taught not to be aggressive. Instead, they are encouraged to demonstrate their masculinity and adventurousness in seriously demanding sports such as mountain climbing or their national sport Pelote.

Part of all this lies in the important role women have in Basque society; particularly the mother in the family. The husband and father holds the authority, but the wife and mother runs just about everything. And - In this case even more important - its the mother who disciplines the children. Female dominance might well have softened the Basques resort to violence; much like we felt when we arrived.

From a male perspective, Basques are manly - adventurous, sports-oriented, prepared to take risks - but, as said, not machismo. Pelote seems to illustrate this. They say its the fastest sport in the world. Its a ball sport with many variations, which makes Pelote similar to handball, squash, and tennis. A small round rubber ball is propelled with the hand, or a flat wooden bat or a basket. Balls can reach speeds over 300 kilometres per hour. Be sure every little village has its own court and wall, often centrally located on a market square. Fast, complex and centrally located thus visible, Pelote is a mens world. Twelve out of fourteen variations are played only by men; traditionally well dressed in non-machismo cricket-like outfits of course.

Another thing we noticed as we got started cycling the Pyrenees. Every time we cross the border with France, we noticed how prices drop to a half on the Spanish side of Basque country. Some bars even include a crisis price list. Not to mention the coffee is much better on the Spanish side. Its very inviting. Where in comparison the French catering industry seems awfully silent - except for tourism of course - life on the Spanish side is lively as ever. If you ask me, this Basque part of Europe knows how to get their priorities right: soft, gentle, adventurous, independent, lively and inclusive over exclusive. Theres loads to learn from Basque history and culture, like perseverance, women leadership, the power in being different and not taking the easy way out. And, they set another strong and interesting example for Europe. Too bad we pay so little attention to each others (sub)cultures.
Pelote court in 'just another small Basque village'Geplaatst doorSander van der Eijkop9:25 PM0reactiesLabels:Basque Country,Basques,cultural differences,diversity,Europe,France,freedom,history,independence,nationalism,Pelote,politics,Spain,subculture,violence,women leadership Thursday, June 21, 2012 A non-financial European Trust FundOver the last nine months we travelled outside Europe. And now were back; cycling our home continent. To us, cycling is just another way of slow travel; except for downhill of course. Which means we have all the time in the world to get reacquainted with our fellow-Europeans. Which we should. These are interesting times, as Europe - which has developed rapidly over the last 20 years - is suffering from the Euro Crisis. This financial crisis is stressing Europe out. And - most of all - it seems to stress our differences instead of our Europeanisms. Greek, Italians, Germans, French, Dutch, Norwegian: same same but different. These months I hope to get a good sense of how European Europeans really are. And - not in the least - I hope to experience how European I am myself. Feel free to question me later.

Whats happening? This week we were watching the Euro 2012 Soccer Championships. The Netherlands was playing Denmark, Germany and Portugal. Or should I say the Netherlands was being played? Anyway, we lost, which is not my point. My point is we were in a bar with two British, two Germans, two Dutch and some more French. And we were having a good time really. Nobody mentioned Greek losses, the crisis hitting Africa, cash injections in Spanish banks, Europe possibly being the biggest risk for our global economy. Nobody questioned our common labour market. I couldnt sense a hint of negativity. On the other hand; nobody mentioned the EU either.

But think about it for a minute. Europeans have a lot in common, in spite of all our differences. Contrary to for example the United States, Europeans share a common history and common culture. Like Brittany in France for example - home to the bar I just mentioned - which is in so many historical ways like Great Britain. And, especially after being away from Europe for nine months, a short visit to any of our old medieval cities is enough to sense loads of common heritage and culture.

I think in general Europe is very much about freedom and creativity, and hopefully understanding. Nevertheless we face a reality in which a lot of nationalism is going on. Witnessing this response to crisis, I would question whether the crisis actually is financial. Most countries get much more excitement out of their national interests. Is it just plain and simple whats in it for me? thinking or something else? Politics are renationalizing. Right and left wing parties gain popularity because of their anti-Europeanism. A generation issue maybe? Maybe we forgot about the purpose of Europe or made it too complicated?

I think it might be a lot simpler. Do people still trust governments? Not really. And how about the latest cyber-generation? Who do you trust if you can see into all the information? The media present us proof of non-trustworthy people in power every day. We just dont trust people in power like we used to, regardless whether theyre in politics or finance. This Euro Crisis really isnt about money; its about a general lack of trust. In a free, democratic and creative society like Europe, lack of trust can soon bounce of the wall. What do most people do if they dont trust someone or some organization? Most of us get out of the way; right or wrong.

Who can solve these trust issues for us? Politicians? Nope, even if they mean well, they are part of the problem. Banks? Part of the problem too. Rating agencies? Part of the problem. In all fairness, the only ones that resolve trust - not having to worry about things - are Europeans them selves: ordinary people like you and me. So why dont we? Start our own 'Trust Fund'? Not financially speaking of course; that won't do. But what then do we do? Go work abroad. Hire people from other European countries because of their skills and added value. Work together. Get to know different nationalities. Get married abroad. Travel. But most of all, dont get out of the way if you feel you dont trust that other someone. Postpone your judgement; check before you act. You will find - at most events - its just a little cultural or personal mix-up. Come on, be a little less afraid. Fortune favours the bold for good reason, unafraid as they are. If ordinary Europeans like you and me try to be a little bolder - more curious, more inquisitive, more self-aware - our Trust Fund might give us new Europeanisms in return.

Back to what Europeans already have in common: their history, culture, arts and - not to forget - their being tired of politics and banks. Wow, weve got something going on here. The question is whether we can find a balance between nationalism and our Europeanisms. What do you think? If politics, power and money wont manage, our Trust Fund just might. Well have to remember this when Germany plays Greece in the Quarter Finals of Euro 2012 tomorrow.
Slow-cycling EuropeGeplaatst doorSander van der Eijkop2:57 PM0reactiesLabels:crisis,cultural differences,Europe,France,labour market,nationalism,Netherlands,politics,trust,trust fund,uncertainty avoidance Friday, June 8, 2012 Why travel? It's sinking inBefore we left on our sabbatical year, we asked our selves why travel? It may seem like an obvious choice, but was it? Obviously there are many ways to spend time well. So why travel? Well, for instance to feel free. To create different situations. To slow down time and get taken in. Maybe even get taken in to a degree to which we can - again - fall in love with life or rediscover youthful enthusiasm. To slow down long enough to lose and find. To open our eyes and hearts to this changing world, hoping to get a better understanding. To dream. To remember whats important to us. And - not to forget - to come home again.

This last week, the intensity of our travels so far suddenly started to sink in. So many things happened, some of which were on our list. Weve just arrived in the last quarter of our year. For these upcoming months weve decided to - again - change our perspective. Before we were travelling around South America and Asia; experiencing countries and places unknown to us. Now we started cycling Europe; which is near home and - for many parts and in many ways - well known. Weve decided to finish near home - without coming home just yet - taking time to travel with fewer impulses, hopefully allowing us to think and plan ahead. Travelling was - is - very much about being in the here and now. Planning and thinking ahead dont really match travelling. But now - after one week of cycling - we find our selves looking back and forth.

As our perspectives change, different things happen. I got lost for no reason whatsoever; simply not paying attention. The second time I couldnt remember where we parked; never happened before. The past nine months we were very much in the now; a mixed state of relaxation and constant alertness. Back home in Europe we completely let go of that alertness. Sometimes we feel much more like tourists and way less like travellers. Plus, were no longer leaving assumptions at home, which suits travelling. These days, were actually putting our assumptions on the table; discussing them for planning purposes. Very different yet again very exciting times. Time in which the intensity of the last nine months has truckloads of room to sink in.

Have you ever wondered what makes travelling so intense? Why is it like that? How is it different? I feel it has a lot to do with being moved (Im not talking about transportation). Highest and lowest moments arrive easily when travelling - elevated or unbalanced - in comparison to relative standstill. Travelling often moves, but rarely because of what is written in the travel guide. To me its about what we experience, think and feel at the same time. Its the little things, in the little places, or in the people we meet. Its in the stories that dont come up immediately after you come home.
Travelling is also intense because it takes something like receptivity. Alain de Botton wrote about this in his Art of Travel. Its almost impossible to enjoy travelling when having rigid ideas. It takes flexibility and openness to move from the familiar to the unfamiliar. That state of mind - opening up, leaving comfort-zones - can be stressful and tiring. But it also enhances flexibility, it certainly kills prejudice, and it seems to make things lighter. Nevertheless some places we visited turned our complete belief system upside down and back up again. That calls for receptivity and is what you might call intense. To put it simple and mildly, I think travelling just might be one of the most direct ways to keep our mind mobile and awake.

Its also about exposure to difference. The sort of exposure that opens up and makes people more creative and innovative. As Im now looking forward to my - upcoming - professional life, I realize this is a big issue for companies, governments and professionals. How to be creative and innovative? How to open up to positive change? People, careers, organizations - or even civilizations - move forward through creativity and innovativeness. Comparable to travelling - to them - it is evenly important to be receptive. To be exposed to different stories and ideas, other ways of approaching issues and unknown sources of inspiration. To me, this is what an increasingly international work force can offer. This - receptivity and exposure - is why interculturality holds so much value. Its what travelling gave us.

Evening out the intensity and all we got out of our travels, were happy to travel relatively known grounds for a little while. Nothing wrong with a little less impulse and intensity for now. Time to let it sink in and to take some small steps in between. Time to turn ideas into plans and plans into reality. A reality I'd want to be moving, mobile and awake.

Let it sink in for a little while - www.coachcultures.org
Geplaatst doorSander van der Eijkop2:18 PM0reactiesLabels:change,creativity,Europe,exposure,freedom,innovation,personal,receptivity,time,travel,travelers Sunday, April 29, 2012 Where do you fit in and how do you reach out?Traveling for almost eight months now, something seriously starts to shift in the way we feel part of this world. Were growing as global citizens with increasingly global mindsets. Most probably we were already on our way, but today the awareness kicks in. I know, I know, this all sounds really big. On the other hand its actually quite normal and maybe even predictable. But most of all it feels very significant and here to stay; an experience worth noting down. To me, its very much related to improved abilities to empathize with other people and cultures; mentally putting our selves into their shoes, gaining understanding of beliefs, desires, emotions and feelings. Let me explain.

Many travelers start of with a sense of not-belonging or sometimes even restlessness. Do I feel connected to family and friends? Is this where I fit in? Do people around me understand me and see me for who I am? Those feelings might even get more of an edge when youre traveling, as you start to connect to different people and different places. Some continue to roam; others rekindle their connections to their homeland, family and friends. Either way our basic human need to belong is a huge driving force. What - actually - is that process?

A large deal of belonging is rooted in empathy: can I relate to others beliefs, desires, emotions and feelings as if it were my own? Very early in life we start developing empathy. Once children can identify them selves in a mirror - maybe at the age of two or three - they can start observing others differently. Once children learn to understand about life and death - at the age of eight or so - they can learn to understand their own struggles and those of others. During the elementary school years empathy generally takes root. What starts with friends and family can grow out to bigger circles, such as work life, social and political groups and other communities.

Empathic development goes with selfhood or personality development. The more we grow, the closer we can get to our friends and family. The other way round, once we lose touch with our own selves - our beliefs, desires, emotions and feelings - it gets more difficult to empathize with the people we were normally close with. For some travelers, that might be the root of that sense of not-belonging. But if we feel connected to our selves - if we feel and understand - empathy usually sticks. They say people are somehow softwired for empathy; that is as long as anger, fear and frustration dont get in our way.

The good news is that empathic development doesnt stop at childhood. Like we just proved by the empathic development we experience today. But from this perspective, new generations get a head start. They grow up with even more developed global mindsets and global connections. That includes a completely different awareness. In a great TEDTalk - which I highly recommend to see at least twice - Jeremy Rifkin talks about the evolution of empathy: the empathic civilization. Rifkin asks himself whether human beings - softwired for empathy - could extend their empathy to the entire human race, as an extended family. He explains how empathy in recent history extended from blood ties to religious associations to national identity. And now we have the technology to actually globally extend our central nervous system - like Twitter or Facebook - why not broaden our sense of identity? New generations might not even need to travel to understand global beliefs, desires, emotions and feelings.

Dont think too big. Try to think small. Think extended family. Think friendship. Think selfhood. The closer we are in terms of beliefs, desires, emotions and feelings, the more we can empathize. The more we empathize, the more we feel related. Empathy is a very strong source for social support, for taking care of our selves and of others dear to us. I feel empathic outreach can develop to a larger, almost global scale. Can you think of any better roots for global development? Sure, there are downsides to empathy and social support, like vulnerability or maybe even over-interdependence. But I would rather deal with that instead of complications such as violence and aggression. So try to hold of your anger, fear and frustration. Maybe skip the daily news more often. Were becoming this global village anyway, with similar global issues and interests. Where do you fit in and how do you reach out?
Global villagers, not just passersby (www.coachcultures.org)
Geplaatst doorSander van der Eijkop7:42 AM0reactiesLabels:awareness,being you,empathy,generations,globalization,human needs,Jeremy Rifkin,politics,travel,travelers Thursday, April 19, 2012 Positive boomerangs flying around BurmaWe arrived in Burma during special days: Thingyan Water Festival. These five days of New Year celebrations - in which everyone gets soaking wet - include stages, hoses, buckets, water pistols and bottles. What was originally a cleansing ritual grew out to epic proportions. During these hottest days of the year, theres no better way to celebrate and cool down. Overcrowded trucks and pick-ups full of people drive past the stages to get wet. Yangon was filled with music, dancing and singing, which made the most happy and positive welcome imaginable. Even though I must admit we got seriously tired of all that water throwing in the end, the people throwing were always welcoming, sweet and appreciative.

But what has actually started, is a brand new year for the people from Burma. The by-election, which was held this April, was an expected beautiful victory for the NLD-party of Aung San Suu Kyi. Later this month she - 'the lady' - will be installed in the Senate. Although power wise this is only a very small step for Burma, the government is actually opening doors that have been shut for a long time. From this year on, the people from Burma have a sense of new agendas and changing social and political circumstances. It adds to the positive vibe, although people dont seem to overdo it. Optimism and hope go hand in hand with scepticism and carefulness, which only seems realistic considering the situation today and the challenges ahead.

Nevertheless, positivity rules over scepticism. I feel that - even without Thingyan or NLD-victory - I would have been hugely impressed with this ability of the people from Burma. Its in their curiosity and openness. Its in their being realistic and sincere even though hope and opportunities lour. Its in their kindness and their appreciating closeness. To me people seem to demonstrate what positivity is all about. Not a jump for joy emotion, but honest and realistically happy behaviour that actually affects wellbeing.

Why is positivity so important? Well, first of all because most people are more creative when they feel positive. When facing problems, people tend to have more ideas on what to do next. People are also more likely to bounce back from adversity. But what I find most important is how positive emotions make people more socially connected to others, even across groups. Experience has proven how positive emotions make it easier for people to look past racial and cultural differences. Experiments show that positive emotions make people more trusting, more often looking for win-win outcome. These are what you might call transformative effects of positivity; effects that help us promote positive change. Thank you people from Burma, for showing me so vividly.

Being too positive often backfires; like false hopes. I dont know about you, but I dont like to play sunny day all the time. It almost levels with overdoing complaining and throwing dark clouds; it gets to you. I would guess similar backfiring would happen if the people from Burma were too positive. Thats why I am so happy to meet appreciativeness, realism, curiosity, openness and kindness instead of jumps for joy. Burma has suffered from the dark side of politics, underdevelopment, decline and many political and ethnical issues over the last fifty years. The challenges of today are very serious, with loads of tasks at hand. I feel that needs positive realism.

Our thoughts - positive or negative - tend to color our experiences. And behaviour - positive or negative - somehow always seems to get back at us, as it affects others. Its almost like a boomerang. Some say dont toss a boomerang around you dont want to catch yourself when it comes back. We should be grateful for all those positive boomerangs flying around in Burma. This is how people positively reinforce each other. It is my hope these boomerangs result in the creativity, flexibility and connectivity needed to work things out.

Eyes of the world, take a look at the people from Burma. Watch them make their steps. And while youre at it, provide these wonderful people - in their turn - with all the positive boomerangs you can throw at them.

Water Festival Yangon: Happy Thingyan!
Geplaatst doorSander van der Eijkop3:16 PM0reactiesLabels:Asia,Burma,change,creativity,happiness,optimism,politics,positivity Tuesday, April 10, 2012 Framing coaching to culture and contextIn my blog throw of your bowlines or cherish your harbour? I discussed setting up the coaching framework at We women foundation. It was about framing coaching - as a method - to a different culture and a very specific local context; working with female refugees from Burma living as migrants in Thailand. Some of you responded to Ursula or me, for which we are very grateful. To conclude and round things up - as part of my last day at the job - Im happy to share findings and ideas with you. Mind you this is still work-in-progress - especially for the We women organisation - written from my own personal perspective as a coach. Its also far too extensive to even call it a blog. Nevertheless I really wanted to get back to you. So if youre interested, please have a read. Ill leave you with the promise to blog again next time.

Expressing a coaching philosophy
We women foundation supports women whose passions, goals and motivation implicate them as future leaders of Burma. The long-term aim of the We women from Burma project is to assist unrecognized refugee women into obtaining higher positions within policy-making or influential organizations, so that they can empower women and their communities. Coaching is a very important part of the project, as was stressed by the students. Most of the participating women are under serious pressure to finish their education. At the same time, they have to manage their often very intense lives.

In order to meet their personal needs - and the goals of We women - we expressed a coaching philosophy:
Coaching supports the women in gaining more control in their own lives, allowing them to chase dreams they hold for themselves and their communities, by acting on issues that they define as important.Coaching methods address and meet the needs of Burmese culture, while - at the same time - supporting the women with means to grow within their community.Coaching increases personal growth and leadership. Although we are not specifically training team skills, we feel very confident our womens independence will allow them to achieve desired team positions.Coaching methods adapt to the various stages in the program, in order to help the women achieve the level of independence they need to make it through the in-university stage.Coaching is always based on equality, encouraging self-awareness and critical thinking. Authority and supervisor attitude do not fit We women.Vice versa, equality and mutuality - through coaching - helps We women to continuously learn and improve methods and projects.
Various elements make a coherent framework for support
We named a variety of development and coaching needs throughout the We women from Burma project. These needs or key competencies - 17 in total - break up into work and study, personal and leadership. Some are more practical, others personal and in-depth. Some call for a professionally guided process, others do better when students help each other out. To shape the entire framework for support, we put four complementary elements into place: Coaching: aiming at balance and focus through personal and leadership skills. Mentoring: advising on and fixing practical problems by someone with senior skills.Peer groups: meetings to share experiences focus on sharing underlying feelings. Social network: a safe and designated online space for students to meet and connect.
Coaching differs from western style coaching
Compared to western style coaching, I find three differences shape a less western coaching approach:
(1) Stuck in the present versus stuck in the future or pastStuck in the future or past could well be the most common starting point for coaching in the West; driven by lots of future thinking, big individual dreams and unresolved issues. In the West we often have difficulties understanding our present - feelings, anxieties, thoughts, lifes questions - to back up our dreams and future thinking. Therefore western style coaching regularly is about exploring todays reality to get a better grip; for example on dreams and other future oriented behaviour.

Stuck in the present might fit We women better. In this context its far more difficult to hold big dreams and goals in life, particularly as an individual. For one, because Buddhism focuses on today. But maybe even more so, for the students todays reality is omnipresent, shaped by being a responsible representative of a larger community under difficult circumstances. Not to mention the refugee context, which means these people have fled experiences of poverty, sometimes violence and other significant life experiences. An illegal status in Thailand only adds to the insecurity and reality of a life in which there are less opportunities to chase dreams and aspirations. Digging out dreams within this reality can be ethically questionable.
(2) Different views on a lifes journeyA Buddhist quote on personal leadership states: Like the captain of a ship, a leader must have a definite goal; only then can he chart his course and steer his ship in the right direction. This eastern journey is all about responsibility, about being a role model within your community who may lead the way. Mark Twain - a famous American writer - puts it differently. In lines well known to western travellers he states: "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didnt do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." This journey is about courage, experimenting and discovering new ways by being an individual. Two very different views on life holding values that shape our journey and influence a coaching approach.
(3) High context versus low contextA low context culture is one in which things are fully yet briefly spelled out. These cultures rely on making things explicit. They often refer to what is actually said or written. A high context culture is one in which people assume a great deal of common knowledge and views. A lot less is spelled out, issues remain implicit and are often transferred indirectly. Most Asian cultures are high context; as goes for Burma. Coaching will have to deal with less direct and more implicit ways.

These three differences - together with We women coaching experience - shapes our coaching style and methods. It differs from typical western coaching in the following characteristics:Invest time, dont push forward: within the specific We women context, coaches should invest much more time in getting to know and understand the student; especially their ways of today. The coach has to accept that students are often driven by the present, without pushing perspectives for the better. This way she can help students to realistically open up to personal dreams and goals.Touch on but dont follow on practical issues: at present practical issues are also taken on within coaching. These issues - although important - particularly add to the feeling of being stuck in the present. By adding mentoring for practical issues, we create as much coaching time as possible to focus on future goals and dreams and personal and leadership development.Less play, find focus first: different views on a lifes journey make We women coaching benefit most from no-nonsense methods. Western coaches often apply behavioural experiments to playfully find new ways. In our specific context the pressure of todays reality calls for an approach in which we take firm hold of the bowlines and cherish the harbour. We want to find some clear and definitive focus points first, before we sail out. A less experimental approach starts with developing a clear vision; like the captain of a ship.Adapt to less direct ways; avoid being too liberal-minded: once the vision is clear, coaching addresses personal barriers similar to western style guidance. Nevertheless, We women has to accept that coaching on average will be less direct and more implicit, the amount of which depends on the needs and personality of the student. The coach has to adapt to less direct ways - show some cultural sensitivity - to actually connect with the student. Less direct also means we cannot focus on the individual too much. We dont want to be too liberal-minded. In our context, connecting to the communities behind the individual is vital, even though we highly encourage critical thinking.Advice is no taboo: coaches in the West actually avoid giving any advice whatsoever; its all about individuality and ownership. But as our students try to balance individuality and community, they will at times have fundamental different views on ownership. We feel ownership - the student ultimately deciding on what to do - goes with personal leadership. Nevertheless, careful advice giving is no taboo for We women coaching; as long as equality and critical thinking are secured.Keep thinking (cultural) leadership: Within the context of We women from Burma, we want to be extra careful not to impose western concepts onto the students. Nevertheless, We women is about leadership, which means the students also need to face cultural challenges at some point. Therefore acknowledging cultural differences - challenging habits and ideas - can be an interesting part of coaching the more advanced students. The same goes for openly discussing leadership competencies, issues and ambitions.
Pre-university mentoring takes on practical issues
In addition to coaching, mentoring aims to develop work and study competencies and to solve practical problems. A mentor - which could well be a We women project coordinator - focuses on both advising and fixing issues. Mentoring is practical problem-solving on a demand-supply basis. In practice, we like the students to have a meeting with their mentor, immediately following on their coaching session. That way theyll be able to get practicalities out of the way whereas necessary, while still being able to focus on the more personal aspects through coaching.

Besides 1-on-1 mentoring, we like to set up mentor groups in the pre-university stage. These groups of four to six students will meet with their mentor about four times a year, alternating individual meetings. Mentor groups provide the opportunity to learn from each others practical issues. On the other hand, its a good platform - and a time-saver - to train or explain activities every student has to deal with.

In-university peer groups support each other
To facilitate students in helping each other, we came up with the idea for We women to set up peer groups during the in-university stage. During this stage, mentoring hours are limited and students are often away from We women base, studying at universities in different cities or even countries. Peer groups focus on discussing issues in small groups of four to six fellow-students. Students help each other analyzing issues and present each other with advice. In the end - of course - its up to the students them selves whether they act on the advice given. Peer groups are catalysts, feeding out students with thoughts, ideas and feedback. Students will be trained on how to do peer supervision.

Peer supervision helps students solve both practical and more strategic or personal issues. In general, the longer a group sticks together, the more reflective it gets. The beauty of peer reflection is how it often cuts both ways. While reflecting on others issues, students will learn for them selves. They get acquainted with their own wisdom by overhearing them selves giving it to someone else.

The diagram below represents the way different elements adapt to the various stages in the We women from Burma project. The entire framework - including a format for personal development plans and elaboration of the various elements - is laid out in concept notes.
Connect via We women Social Network
To facilitate contacts amongst students in a safe and discrete way, We women will start an online forum designed to provide an designated space for students to share concerns, experiences and advice. With minor input from We women staff, this forum will primarily be sustained through peer participation. The content discussed in this online forum could vary from topics useful to university life and studies as well as general peer support when personal needs arise. The forum is not only a place to voice concerns, but will allow students to share resources and ideas relevant to their studies. This can include for example online resources, as well as direct feedback from fellow-students. The network serves as a place to share any news or post topics that are of interest. It is a space for friendly and open communication.

The We women student network is getting bigger and bigger. Some are preparing for university, others are already busy doing their masters and soon enough this network will hold experienced and successful alumni-students. In time, the online social network will become a searchable bookshelf of knowledge and contacts.

Coaching, mentoring, mentor groups, peer groups, social networking; together they make a coherent framework that fits We women practise. Starting from this summer, We women will continue to shape and develop all of these elements. We women will look for an additional professional coach, preferably rooted in Burmese culture. The first mentor and peer groups will be set up this summer, and piloting the online social network has already started.
Ill be gone, but I cant wait to get back in touch for a first half years evaluation.
For more information on We women foundation, link to their website or Facebook page.
Geplaatst doorSander van der Eijkop11:04 AM1 reactiesEmail ThisBlogThis!Share to TwitterShare to FacebookShare to PinterestLabels:Asia,Burma,change,coaching,collectivism,cultural differences,equality,future orientation,high context,individualism,low context,mentor,peer group,personal growth,social network,volunteering,We women Sunday, April 1, 2012 A serious plea for mediocrityOne of the first things we saw when wandering through the great city of Osaka (Japan), was a race between four two-year-olds. In case you wonder, they were racing on foot-bikes. The moms were - quite seriously - organizing both start and finish line. The kids seemed to enjoy themselves, although they cared less for start- en finish lines. Nevertheless they were competing, maybe even for the first time in their young lives. And it won't be the last time. The rules were fair and simple though: (1) all the kids were allowed to compete, (2) all of them had similar opportunities and (3) in the end there were winners and losers.

It reminded me a lot of an Alain de Botton quote in his documentary Status Anxiety: "if everything is more or less leveled, the slightest differentiation is quickly noticed." The Botton points at discriminating winners and losers in a society in which everyone - at first glance - seems to have similar opportunities. In Western Europe and the US for example, we are taught we can all be winners. We are all equal in that way. At the same time, thats what makes lots of us jealous of peers or neighbors if they are - for some reason - more successful. And if not winning them selves, people are quick to think theyre on the losing end. Sometimes others are even kind enough to - thoroughly - rub that in. An interesting paradox: while in fact everything is more or less leveled, theres no room for mediocrity. Youre either winning or losing.

In Japan this is not too much of a problem. Hierarchy has for long been accepted in Japanese culture. As I already mentioned in my last blog, Japanese loyalty and obedience by far exceeds what were used to in Western societies. Decisions about job positions and salary were often made a long time ago; although it might have been your parents choice, not yours. But at least theres no need for you to be anxious or unhappy about your status in life. In Japan youre allowed to be mediocre; you may even shine mediocre. As confusing as it may sound, its fair to say theres more room for mediocrity in more hierarchic societies if compared to egalitarian societies. At least the Japanese are at ease with the idea of winners and others.

In Western Europe and the US however, people may get serious anxieties over this. Even though Ive achieved quite a lot in life, I often feel a certain need to meet the achievements of some of my friends and colleagues. Sound familiar? The idea of us all being allowed a similar amount of success might be one of the bigger issues we suffer from as 'equals', simply because we are not. The truth is not even egalitarian societies will allow everyone similar achievements. Society needs variety. Society needs people to live with - and deal with - lesser positions than others. If we can not accept this 'unfairness', thats a solid ground for jealousy, anxiety, bullying and stress. At work, some women are having even more of a hard time. While men have always been dealing with a certain amount of hierarchy and competition while growing up - team captains, top scorers, funniest and strongest - women are still less used to ranks. In comparison, women more often end up in less healthy forms of competition at work, which causes even more status anxiety.

If we want to get rid of our anxieties - enjoy life as it is - we might want to consider seeing it as it is. People are different. People have different skills. Not to mention our different circumstances, experiences and lessons in life. Unfortunately, not every skill gets the same decent pay and not everyone will be as lucky or privileged. At work wed find more room for mediocrity and happiness if - first or all - we stopped promising our selves and others too much. It would also be helpful if we stopped enlarging failure. No one needs that. And thirdly, we need to understand every job holds an appreciative value. Only one glance at a Japanese taxi driver - wearing a bow tie, white gloves and a self-confident smile - is enough to understand the Japanese got this. Nevertheless theres no need to promote hierarchy like the Japanese do. If we see and accept certain things for what they are, well find theres less room for competition and lots more room for mediocrity. We might even see the beauty and opportunity in mediocrity. Let's live our own lives, not someone elses. I'm sure we'll like it a whole lot better.
Room for mediocrity? - www.coachcultures.orgWant to read more on this topic?Check the related blog 'boom with gloom', including several comments from readers.
Geplaatst doorSander van der Eijkop11:21 AM0reactiesEmail ThisBlogThis!Share to TwitterShare to FacebookShare to PinterestLabels:being you,business,cultural differences,Europe,fear,happiness,Japan,lifestyle,mediocrity,personal,status,US Sunday, March 25, 2012 What makes you commit? Believer, calculator or supporter?After two months on our volunteer job, were already calling it a day. Its not because we dont like the job or they want us out a.s.a.p. In all fairness we can say its because were moving on. Nevertheless it does feel a bit like quitting. Not like it did when we left our jobs last summer, but still. We try to make the best of it before we leave and then we say our goodbyes. Off we go, stuffed with memories and afterthoughts. As a coach, I often meet people contemplating on their job and career choices. I find it interesting always, to see how strongly committed people actually are to their jobs. If only their organizations could see half of it. Today - quitting jobs for the second time in a year and juggling (and struggling) with commitment myself - I wonder how people get so committed? And what about commitment across cultures?

Just imagine your company spirals downward. Or continuously having fights with your manager? What if ethics changed? What if your stress-level keeps getting tested? What if youre salary lags your responsibility and efforts? Or what if youre developing a serious dislike for your job? Across cultures, people tend to respond differently. Yes, there are strong economical and personal influences, but research filtered out some interesting cultural aspects. We all know the world famous example of Japanese workers. Their loyalty and obedience by far exceeds what were used to in Western societies. As well as thoughts about quitting an organization based on costs and benefits are rare in Japan. Such decisions were often made a long time ago; sometimes even based on family heritage.

But what is commitment? The best description I found is persistence with a purpose. An inner force or action, that feels like attachment, identification or loyalty. If it comes to being committed to our jobs, we can distinct three types:Affective commitment is a strong belief in and acceptance of the goals and values of an organization (Porter). Id like to talk about believers.Continuance commitment is a more calculative for of commitment; the result of side-bets or investments that increase the costs you would accrue if you leave the organization (Meyer). Lets call these calculators.Normative commitment is a sense of obligation, feeling you ought to remain with the organization (Meyer Allen). Ill call these supporters.

Im guessing you might already feel a certain response - familiarity, allergy, itch - when going over one or two of these different types of commitment. Am I right? Why do we respond like that? What makes you commit? Culturally, this is mainly related to dimensions such as individualism versus collectivism and power distance. Individualism feeds both believing and calculating. When you identify less with groups, youre more likely to stay committed because of inner values or individual benefits. Collectivism on the other hand, is positively associated with supporting. If you identify with groups, youre more likely to feel obliged to stick with those. Power distance - the extent to which people accept differences in power - is higher in places like Japan, South-East Asia, Argentina or Spain in comparison to Northern Europe and the US. Power distance feeds supporting. The greater the power distance the greater the emphasis on obedience and loyalty. If power distance is low, its a lot easier to evaluate authority and assess personal benefits. Not to mention itll be a lot easier to confront your boss.

There are interesting paradoxes though. Research proved that turnover - and turnover intentions - were a lot lower in Japan compared to the US. Nevertheless, self-reported levels of commitment in the US are generally higher than in any other culture. Wouldnt you expect a lower turnover then? It turned out that in the US, a sense of obligation to the organization - supporting - hardly influences the intention of staying; unlike any other country. In the US, Im sure, this is related to job security; the level of commitment of organizations and governments towards individuals.

Yet how strong are these cultural influences? Not particularly strong. We universally recognize each of these commitment types. Our tendency to be committed - either as a believer, a calculator or a supporter - varies within cultures, from person to person and time to time. For just as much reason, someone could blog about commitment and gender. Nevertheless Ive learned there are a few universal reasons for sticking to our jobs. In random order this is because (1) we feel we are fairly compensated, (2) we feel we want to make a contribution (to either the organization or its goals), (3) we feel we are still able to learn something, and (4) we feel we can fit the job on a daily life that meets with our other needs.
Leaving We women foundation Im genuinely happy to have felt strongly committed to an organization, without any interference of calculative commitment. I find believing and supporting are the more likable forces within. My own heroes are not as such because of their skills, talents or intelligence. What I admire is their ability to be human: not knowing, making mistakes, going different ways, losing temper or patience and then - because of commitment to a cause, a person or a group - reflect, learn and get back on track. If that happens to you: stay! Thats when you know for sure how much you really care.
Commitment to a cause - www.coachcultures.org
For some reflection on our volunteering at We women, see our We women blog: Looking back over a tealeaf salad.
For more background on commitment across cultures, see: Commitment across cultures: A meta-analytical approach, Fischer and Mansell (2008).

Geplaatst doorSander van der Eijkop11:26 AM0reactiesEmail ThisBlogThis!Share to TwitterShare to FacebookShare to PinterestLabels:argentina,Asia,awareness,coaching,collectivism,commitment,cultural differences,economy,Europe,individualism,Japan,letting go,power distance,Spain,US,volunteering,We women Saturday, March 17, 2012 Stuck between two countries and a hard placeLiving in Thailand for a few months, we had the pleasure of eating at this amazing Burmese restaurant for a few times. The restaurant - in the outskirts of town - also functions as a community-heart for local migrants from Burma. Its a good place for them to meet, chat and share their every day lives. Unfortunately, last week Thai police raided the restaurant. What started with parking issues led to much worse: the arrest and possible deportation of six people. These migrants from Burma dont hold sufficient legal documents to run a business, which are not the only rights they are denied. Stuck between two countries and a hard place. The police of course knew, which makes this nothing more but harassment and a blunt demonstration of police presence. Frustrating enough, theres not much to do. Its these frustrations - and others - that cause these migrants never to feel at ease. Stuck in a hard place that - worst case - feeds fear and insecurity.
We all know our own bits and pieces about fear. Lets just call it a highly unpleasant, very strong emotion. In general, we get afraid in the anticipation of loss. But it gets even more frightening if we depend on the good will of others, such as Thai police, or others in power. Fear is stressful at the least, but the long-term effects - often overlooked - are possibly far more severe. I would even go as far as to say daily exposure to fear is like practising it. As with most things we practise, we get good at it. When practising fear - including anger as a bonus-emotion - you run a serious risk of becoming a fearful and angry person. It takes strong will, character and at least some social support to stop this. Unfortunately fear and anger often become standard when dealing with new challenges. I can only admire the way these people from Burma have compensated fear with courage. Because that - and something of a happy-go-lucky attitude - is what it takes to set up a community-heart when stuck in a hard place.
Very important to the community though, because if you add to this the insecurity that goes with having to be on your guard every day, you understand why these migrants need to seek and meet each other. Insecurity feels like always climbing up a mountain without seeing the top. Others describe it like the feeling of having no freedom of action or choice; always having to do something else then you prefer. Out of this insecurity, its understandable for people to become defensive. Over-controlling emotionally - not allowing others in - is just one of the many strategies. As an unfortunate paradox, insecurity - defensiveness, over-controlling, not allowing others in - often tends to trigger conflicts instead of preventing them. This risk of downward spiral is of course the last thing you need when afraid and insecure. Again, the relative safety and security of a community-heart - like the Burmese restaurant - puts things into perspective.
Now this - long introduction - is what I find so frustrating about politics today. So many strategies and policies are based on fear and insecurity, which result in even more fear and insecurity. Strict immigration-rules, catch-22 situations for refugees, strong - often inflicting - words by politicians, stressing differences; it all adds up to nothing much of a way to go. Understanding the long-term effects of fear and insecurity makes it even more annoying to listen to up-tight politicians who lead on these exclusive and excluding policies and ideas from behind their brave and macho masks. Like the former bullies at school; we all know they always turned out to be neither brave nor interesting. We see politicians behaving defensive, we look at them over-controlling emotionally and we know for a fact they are not letting anyone in or close. All I can think of is: insecurity. It just goes to show fear and insecurity cut both ways. These seemingly brave and macho figures - bullies in power, frightening and harassing others - actually get more scared and insecure every day they do so. Good practise! Downward spiral, just what we need, especially from the boys and girls in the lead
Come on world, is this how were going to deal with future challenges? If we all want to be less afraid and insecure - which we do - theres no other choice but to take some risk in changing our behaviour. Which actually means we have to trust others and expose ourselves; take some risk of getting hurt. Luckily, lots of people are brave; like these people from Burma. Those in better positions on the other hand - like the ordinary you and me, or leaders and politicians - could do with some more healthy and humorous belief in them selves. Arent we far too busy overcoming insecurity by finding support - votes, followers, Facebook-likes - all the time? As a strategy to halt the downward fear and insecurity spiral, I say its about time we deal with our highly exaggerated need for acceptance and approval. Itll save us lots of time, lots of fuzz and lots of future troubles.
Stuck between two countries and a hard place - www.coachcultures.orgGeplaatst doorSander van der Eijkop10:29 AM0reactiesEmail ThisBlogThis!Share to TwitterShare to FacebookShare to PinterestLabels:Asia,Burma,change,fear,freedom,helping,insecurity,migration,politics,Thailand,uncertainty avoidance Saturday, March 10, 2012 Throw off your bowlines or cherish your harbour?When discussing the coaching framework with Ursula at We women foundation, we dwelled upon how women from Burma point at their heart when talking about both their heart and mind. If youre into Buddhism, youll know more about this. Its very different from a Western upbringing, in which we clearly see the mind in one place and the heart in another. I often state that coaching is all about being you; both connecting our inside to what we show on the outside and connecting our hearts and minds. It feels like we can easily spend a lifetime unconfusing ourselves. But what if a Burmese upbringing - or maybe a Buddhist upbringing in general - causes a different sort of confusion? What would it be like? And how does it influence a coaching approach?

Im only starting to dig in, so obviously Im far from having the answers. Plus Im not what you might call an expert on Buddhism. Nevertheless, I feel like I am slowly waking up to a different coaching approach, to actually fit the local context. We women works within a very specific local context. They support female refugees from Burma - illegal migrants in Thailand - whose passions, goals and motivation implicate them as future leaders of Burma. Most women that take part in the project - talented and motivated as they are - are under a lot of pressure to finish their education. At the same time, these women have to manage their very intense lives. Therefore, coaching is already a vital part of their project.

So what changes a coaching approach compared to western style coaching? This is what Im thinking:
Stuck in our future or past, trying to work out the present could well be the most common starting point for coaching in the West. I feel we Westerners are mind racers - disconnected from our feelings or heritage - often far from knowing what it is that actually drives us. Western people do lots of future thinking; having big individual dreams. Not to mention we often have unresolved issues in our past. All together we seem to have lots of difficulties sensing and understanding our present - feelings, anxieties, thoughts, lifes questions - to back up our dreams and future thinking. Coaching is often about exploring todays reality to get a better grip on our future oriented behaviour.
Stuck in the present might fit Buddhist cultures better. Over here, it is far more difficult to hold big dreams and goals in life, particularly as an individual. If only because Buddhism focuses on today. But for the women from Burma the reality of today is omnipresent, often shaped by being a responsible representative of a larger community. Then theres the refugee context. These people have fled experiences of poverty, sometimes violence and other significant life experiences. On top of this, living as illegal migrants in Thailand adds to the insecurity and reality of a life in which there are less opportunities to chase dreams and aspirations. You could question the ethics of digging out dreams within this reality, right? On the other hand, people are much more aware of their feelings, anxieties, primary thoughts and lifes questions.
In addition, Asian cultures are often high context cultures; which means a lot less is spelled out and experiences and ideas are often much more implicit, So how to discuss matters as a coach? (Click here for more information on high versus low context). You might start to feel that a Western style of personal coaching is a total misfit for female refugees from Burma. But for now, I disagree.

Why? Lets just simplify by saying that coaching is about personal leadership. I would argue that its all about opening up to your own journey. If that is the case, I feel Eastern and Western cultures have an interestingly different view on the concept of a lifes journey. A Buddhist quote on personal leadership states: Like the captain of a ship, a leader must have a definite goal; only then can he chart his course and steer his ship in the right direction. This journey - on the one hand - is all about responsibility and about being a role model within your community who may lead the way. Mark Twain - a famous American writer - puts it differently. In lines well known to Western travellers he states: "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didnt do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." This journey is about courage, experimenting and discovering new ways by being an individual. Different values shape our journey.

I feel these different concepts of a lifes journey - plus being stuck in the present versus future or past - shape a non-Western coaching approach. Not entirely different, but different for sure in terms of pace, focus, methods and behaviour. Feel free the comment. Im happy to get back to you later with more specific ideas. But for now, Im trying to withhold myself from jumping into conclusions; happy to learn from these more time-plentiful cultures.
The heart the mind - www.coachcultures.orgGeplaatst doorSander van der Eijkop9:52 AM0reactiesEmail ThisBlogThis!Share to TwitterShare to FacebookShare to PinterestLabels:Asia,being you,Burma,change,coaching,cultural differences,Europe,experiment,high context,migration,personal growth,quantity of time,volunteering,We women Sunday, March 4, 2012 Crisis? What Crisis?No, this blog is not about Supertramps Fourth Album. But it would be a lousy title for my blog if there wasnt any parallel. Supertramp released their Album during the mid-seventies oil-crisis, ironically denying the crisis. Well, I would love to add some question marks to todays crisis. A few weeks ago, my colleague Ron got me started, by saying a crisis is nothing more than our world evolving very - very - fast. A very interesting thought. Yes, if we dont want change, we - our government, financial authorities, whoever - may speak of crisis. But I feel this time of change holds lots of long-awaited good, which just might make our European or global crisis a most interesting and enjoyable time to discover new ways.

Three weeks ago, in my blog so many ways, I talked about inspiring Asian entrepreneurs, opening up to a diversity of ideas and solutions. So how about inspiration today? Even better, as I am now surrounded by social entrepreneurs. A funny combination of words social-entrepreneurs, which is used since the eighties (post-crisis) to label people who use business principles to solve social issues. Instead of focusing on profit and return, social entrepreneurs like to focus on creating social capital. Thats why social entrepreneurs are often associated with voluntary and non-profit sectors. Although there are even more ways. What is most appealing to me is how social entrepreneurs are always most active in times of so-called crisis, no matter the shape, size or geographic location. Social entrepreneurs want to contribute, highly motivated by making positive changes. They see all sorts of opportunities and - most important of all - seize opportunities where others freeze or get frustrated.

Today I myself got the opportunity to contribute to a very interesting, driven social ventures called We women foundation. Volunteering for now, as a coach, which of course in my case is something of a luxury thing. But youd have to understand that no one makes big bucks in social ventures like these. Thats not how you create social capital. We women is about supporting strong unrecognized refugee women from Burma to build capacity within their community. About increasing their abilities to make and influence policy decisions in Burma, which today are too often made by outsiders. About supporting these women to make it to and through University, to promote their chances of achieving their dreams and goals. All of which is social capital. I can tell you, seeing these things work out is seriously good pay.

Many things happen in Burma today, many of which are very problematic. Problematic and complex in ways that make our European crisis seem very - very - shallow. But no matter the shape or size of crisis, these specifically are times to create positive and lasting change in fast-evolving communities.

So if you ever feel locked in by our European and global crisis, stuck on a train towards change that is not you. Change trains at the next stop and seize your crisis-opportunity to join or become a social entrepreneur. Its a crisis, so youll find them around. Yes of course, youll make less of a buck. But hey, its crisis anyway! Maybe youll have to adjust your standards a bit. But a few days or weeks down the line youll know youre investing, focused on positive change. And some time later youll feel it too. Soon, very - very - soon, youll find out how little the word crisis actually means. Id highly recommend this change of perspective.

Geplaatst doorSander van der Eijkop5:45 AM0reactiesEmail ThisBlogThis!Share to TwitterShare to FacebookShare to PinterestLabels:Asia,Burma,change,crisis,economy,education,entrepreneurs,Europe,helping,personal growth,volunteering,We women Saturday, February 25, 2012 We all want the same, dont we?This week I had the opportunity to facilitate a Youth Exchange workshop at Beam Education Foundation in Chiang Mai. Every three months a group of Burmese refugees - in their early twenties, working at different Community Based Organizations in Chiang Mai - gather to discuss topics of their interest. This time round about thirty students targeted the topic of education in Burma. We discussed all levels from primary school to university, collecting dreams and ideas on how to improve Burmese education. Two NGO-workers, Leena from Finland and Meaghan from the US, added an international perspective by doing presentations and QA on school systems in Finland, US and UK. The outcome of the day was very clear. And it surprised me, although I know It shouldnt.
Ever since the current military regime in Burma staged a coup in 1988, education deteriorated to a point where post-secondary education was almost non-existent. Nearly all of Burma's universities and colleges have been mostly closed since the student-led protests in 1988, in which thousands of non-violent demonstrators were gunned down. Universities in Burma have been open sporadically over the last decade and most academic materials are even more decades out of date. But the greatest barrier to attend primary and secondary school for sure is poverty. Cuts in government spending on education meant an increase in costs to families in the form of a series of taxes and donations, to be paid to the education department, the school, and the teachers. Every little extra has to be paid for. Over fifty percent of the children drop out of school before fifth grade. Children in ethnic minority conflict areas are even less likely to have access to school, as struggle for food security takes priority.
So maybe I was expecting the students to be political about their education system. Or maybe I thought they would avoid the personal, focusing on conditions and curricula. And maybe I was also guessing culture would somehow influence the outcome. But the fact of the matter was that most students expressed basic needs. As they got more personal they talked about copy-paste education, lack of room for discussion, power-distant teachers that dont listen to students, non-existing equality and no personal approach whatsoever. The students long for critical capacity and ways for them to express opinions. They want dedicated and involved teachers, who are consistent and open-minded. Not to mention theyd like some time to daydream, relax and have fun. And thats when it hit me; these of course are fundamental human needs. Its all about participation, about understanding, about identity and about freedom. And it doesnt matter the least bit whether youre from the Netherlands, Finland, US or Burma. We all want the same, dont we?
Fundamental human needs are constant through all human cultures and across all time periods (Manfred Max-Neef). What does change over time - and across cultures - is the strategies by which we satisfy these needs. That is a part of what Coach Cultures is about; being able to help people with different backgrounds, without force-feeding different cultural ideas. But when it comes to fundamental needs we are all very similar, so we can forget about our differences. Max-Neef distincts nine fundamental human needs: subsistence, protection, affection, understanding, participation, leisure, creation, identity and freedom. Each one breaks down into who do you want to be?, what do you want to have?, what do you want to do? and how do you want to interact?.
Sometimes we need a lively experience to remember the basics. To me, listening to the students at Youth Exchange made me realize we are similar in so many ways. All too valuable, especially since I have been focusing a lot on differences lately. Yes, sometimes focus dazzles us. Re-realizing we are all very much the same - I am you and you are me - I immediately felt even more involved. So even though the outcome shouldnt surprise me, Im only happy it did.

Geplaatst doorSander van der Eijkop11:13 AM0reactiesEmail ThisBlogThis!Share to TwitterShare to FacebookShare to PinterestLabels:Asia,awareness,BEAM,Burma,change,education,equality,happiness,human needs,migration,politics,power distance,Thailand Older PostsHomeSubscribe to:Posts (Atom)Follow @sandervdeijkBlog Archive 2012(21) October(1)Identity: back to my why August(1) July(1) June(2) April(4) March(4) February(4) January(4) 2011(13) December(2) November(3) October(4) September(2) August(2)My LinksLinkedin profileSander.co.nlSustainable transport columns (Dutch)My 'Motorcycle diaries' blog'Over a tealeaf salad' blogWe women foundationHappy Planet IndexDocumentary on 'Status Anxiety'TED: Ideas worth spreadingMy Blog RollExpat Focus Blog3 weeks agoOur (Dutch) travel blog9 years agoBlog Dragonfly (Haven)Creative Differences BlogTag Cloudcultural differences(20)change(14)travel(14)Asia(13)coaching(12)politics(10)awareness(9)personal(9)Europe(8)being you(8)migration(8)travelers(8)Burma(7)South America(7)economy(7)business(6)crisis(6)freedom(6)future orientation(6)happiness(6)individualism(6)letting go(6)lifestyle(6)personal growth(6)quantity of time(6)status(6)We women(5)history(5)uncertainty avoidance(5)Chile(4)Thailand(4)US(4)argentina(4)collectivism(4)creativity(4)experiment(4)helping(4)high context(4)low context(4)power distance(4)volunteering(4)Japan(3)Netherlands(3)authenticity(3)cambodia(3)control(3)equality(3)generations(3)past orientation(3)Australia(2)China(2)France(2)New Zealand(2)Spain(2)diversity(2)education(2)fear(2)human needs(2)mateship(2)mediocrity(2)nationalism(2)peer group(2)receptivity(2)social network(2)Africa(1)BEAM(1)Basque Country(1)Basques(1)Bolivia(1)Coach Cultures(1)Europa(1)Identity(1)Jeremy Rifkin(1)Olympics(1)Pelote(1)Pyrenees(1)charity(1)commitment(1)competition(1)empathy(1)entrepreneurs(1)exposure(1)globalization(1)home(1)independence(1)innovation(1)insecurity(1)labour market(1)language(1)loser(1)losing(1)mentor(1)monochronic(1)negotiating(1)optimism(1)personality(1)polls(1)polychronic(1)positivity(1)subculture(1)time(1)trust(1)trust fund(1)violence(1)winning(1)women leadership(1)Search This Blog
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