The Lethargic Blog

Time 2021-10-29 12:03:03

Web Name: The Lethargic Blog

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The Lethargic Blog

The incoherent ramblings of an angry insomniac.

Wednesday, June 13, 2012 Draven Rides Again
2 or 3 of you reading this probably know this, but I used tomake a lot of music. I used to put out around 2 or 3 full albums a yearunder various fake band names in various fake genres, around 14 or 15 in total,but that all stopped a while back. I haven't put out a new album since 2007and that one took months to make.

I have been plagued with wrist and hand problems for years. Playing in areal live band became impossible so I devoted my time to just making as much ofmy own music as I could before my wrists were so bad I couldn't do itanymore. It got to the point where playing guitar or bass or whatever wasimpossible to do just for fun. I couldn't just pick up a guitar andfiddle around with it on a lark. Doing that for 30 minutes would lead todays of pain. Same for recording. I used to just record a song whenever one popped up. But doing one song was painful, so if I'm going to go through that pain I wanted something more worthwhile to come out of it besides one song. Making the albums became the only time I ever played. Iwould just suck it up and bang out the album then spend the next few weeks wearingvarious braces, covering myself in Icy Hot and wrapping my arms in heating padsto ease the pain.
This was all worth it for a while. But in2007/2008 I decided I was going to make one more album and it was going to be mylast one. It was going to be called The Party's Over and would end with acover of The Raspberries' The Party's Over song with the lyrics changed to reflect myquitting music. But that album turned out to be a disaster and I stillhaven't finished it all these years later.

The main problem is that my old computer died the true deathand I upgraded to a brand new fancy computer. The recording program Ialways used and had pretty much mastered over the years was a Win98 program. Itgot through the XP era just fine but it didn't do so well in the Vista/Win7era. No biggie, I felt it was time to upgrade anyway so I moved up tothe latest edition of the big fancy Sonar program. Sonar was essentiallyjust an updated version and it more or less looked the same but it sure as helldidn't work the same. Everything that worked so simply in the previousversion was now a tedious frustrating endeavor. I had a bunch of plug ins thatI had used and relied on for years which suddenly didn't work anymore. Itwas a mess. Nothing sounded as good, nothing worked as well, but Isoldiered on anyway and recorded all the music. Then I tried exporting somerough mixes of the music and once again nothing worked easily. Trying tofigure out how to get this thing to export in the correct format was mindboggling and then once I got it to work, everything sounded terrible. Butonce again I soldiered on and told myself don't worry about it, you can figureout what's wrong and fix it later in the mixing process. I startedrecording the vocals and that's when everything went into total disarray. Vocals were impossible to record. My lack of singing ability always hurtrecording vocals, but this was more than that, I couldn't get the vocals torecord right at all. Volume wise it was all over the map.It would eitherrecord too low or too high, there was no in-between and no amount of mixing and FX helped. Even worse, the vocals sounded like I was singing through a CB radio. Alltinny and static-y. I tried to figure this out for weeks. Tryingeverything I could think of, scouring the Google for answers. Nothinghelped and eventually it just hit me that, I didn't really like thesesongs all that much anyway. I had already planned on calling this my last, and worst, CD. I wasn't even enjoying the music and I was working myass off for it more than all the other CDs combined. So I gave up onit. I have gone back to it 2 or 3 times a year to try to finish it, onlyto get frustrated yet again and quit. But I didn't just quit this CD, Iquit it all. I pretty much didn't play guitar for the past 5 years and Isold most of my recording equipment knowing that I was done.

I did TRY to play guitar some. Playing music is all I want to do it andall I care about. So not being able to do it has pretty much been the most miserable part of my life. These past few years have had quite a few spells ofcomplete depression, anger and frustration over it. Even if I couldn'tmake music, I'd just like the ability to pick up my guitar and goof around onit. But anytime I tried, I just went into immediate pain so I was stuckwith the choice of either don't do this one thing, or do that one thing and notbe able to do ANYTHING else from the pain it causes.

But then, for reasons unknown, a Christmas miracle of sorts happened. Iread Duff McKagan's book and it frustrated me because all I could think ofwas the fun I used to have playing along with Appetite for Destruction. Ieventually said screw it, picked up my guitar, popped in Appetite forDestruction and played along. Wrists didn't like it, but they didn'tcomplain too much, so I kept on doing it. I started playing Appetite once a week to get it out of my system, but I didn't push it anyfarther than that. Then when the family came to town for Christmas I was stuckwith kids all over me for a week or so. I couldn't get away to play games, watch TV, use thecomputer, leave, anything. So I figure hey, let me pick up this acousticguitar to kill some time. Up until now 10 minutes of that guitar wouldsend me into pain. But it wasn't now. I played it nearly the entiretime they were here, until one of the kids broke a string. It was startingto seem like I could play again, but I didn't want to push it and try recording again. I told myself to just relish in getting to play it for a whilebecause you know it ain't gonna last. So I kept playing an hour or so aweek. I learned the first Wolfmother album and would play that once aweek. Then I learned the first Audioslave album and would play that. Then I made a set list of Black Sabbath songs and played that. Then I gotinto Aerosmith for the first time in my life, made a set list of a bunch oftheir early songs and learned that. Playing once a week turned into twoor three times a week.

Playing Aerosmith was the real turning point. My last fake band wasDraven. It was supposed to be my straight forward guitar driven rock bandwith songs about sex, drugs and rock roll stereotypes. It was by far myfavorite fake band and by far the most popular. Probably because it was theonly one where I was actually making the type of music that I listen to. Playing Aerosmith got me back into that mindset. Playing those riffs mademe start coming up with my own riffs. Soon a new album was starting to rear itsugly head. But how to do it? I sold and got rid of so much stuff. Ireally had no way to do drums anymore. And would this one sound anybetter than the one I gave up on? Then one thought popped into myhead: Screw it!

I used to record on a 4 track. No, let's go before that, I used to recordon a boom box and a stereo. I would set the boom box in front of mydrums, play the drum part. Then play back the drum part on my stereoreal loud, play the bass part along with that, set the boom box between the stereoand amp and record that. Then do it again for guitar. It soundedlike GARBAGE but I didn't care that it sounded like garbage, I was justexcited that I created a song. Then I graduated to 4 track, it sounded alittle better, it still sounded like garbage, but it was fun. So thethought occurred to me....who am I trying to impress? When did I decide Iwas supposed to try to make my bedroom recordings sound like major labelreleases? Who cares? The few people whose opinion actually mattersto me aren't going to listen to it and go oh man, that snare drum sounds alittle off. Why am I trying to be perfect when I never will be? Whydid I waste so much time on all those other recordings? Who cares? Screw it!

I decided to go for it, it would either sound good or it wouldn't. But Ididn't want to destroy my wrists in the process either. It was real badtiming, spring was here and so was the yard work. Now I was mowing the yard,weed eating, chainsawing, etc. I figured it wasn't going to be good to be doingthat AND trying to record this stuff so I needed it to be quick and easy. My first idea was to use loops for the bass and drums instead of playing itmanually. It would also be an interesting way to write because I'd haveto find loops then create riffs that fit them. I did a couple of songsthat like. Also I didn't want to use Sonar again so I found this AWESOMEfree software called Reaper that is by far the easiest and best recordingsoftware I've used. I tossed my loops in there, played my guitar overthem, and it sounded AMAZEBALLS with very little effort. This was going to be awesome!

But the more I came up with ideas, the less the loops seemed like a goodidea. I would come up with an idea then go through my loop collection andbe unable to find anything I could use it with. Starting with the loops firstworked, but was extremely limiting. I ended up abandoning the loopsidea. But now I had to figure out what to do about the drums. Ididn't have my electric drums anymore. I still had my MIDI keyboard toplay drums with but the drum samples I had on my computer were terrible. I scoured the entire internet looking for the best program I could find. I ended up settling on EZDrummer. It's an amazing program that soundslike a realistic drumset and doesn't have to be programmed through MIDI or useloops, I could play the drums "live" using my fingers and my MIDIkeyboard. Problem solved!

LOL!!! Of course not. I figured out that my old midi cables nolonger worked because it used the printer port for input and I guess computersdon't have those anymore. Who knew?? So I figured out a way to usemy computer keyboard in Reaper to control EZDrummer. Problem solved!

LOL!!! Of course not. It had CRAZY latency issues. Like if I was hittingbass, snare, bass, snare, the delay would be so bad that you'd be hearing thebass while I'm hitting the snare and the snare while I'm hitting the bass. SoI had to order a MIDI to USB cable for my MIDI keyboard, wait a week and thenproblem solved!

LOL!!! Of course not. It had the latency issue also. I scoured theinternet for days. Lots of people had this problem, everybody hadanswers, none of them worked for me. I tried EZDrummer in my other recordingsoftware and it didn't do this, it was only in Reaper. I was left withonly one choice. I had to abandon this software that I loved to go backto the software that I hated. Goodbye Reaper, hello Sonar, again.

Now everything more or less worked, I worried if I was going to have the sameproblems when mixing and recording vocals but my mantra of SCREW IT kept megoing. I was ready to record, now I needed the songs. I had lots ofideas but no full songs. Over the next 2-3 weeks I had what was probablythe quickest and easiest writing period ever. Usually my writing periodgoes like this: I come up with the idea for 2 or 3 songs out of nowhere anddecide that means I should do a album. Then I sit down and TRY towrite. This usually leads to a few more songs that I end up liking morethan the original 2 or 3. But then I hit a rut and have to force myselfto pull some more songs out of my ass to finish the album off. Sometimes Iluck out and they end up decent, more often they feel just as forced as theywere. On all the albums I've done I can hear those 1 or 2 songs on each one andtell those are the ones I did last. They feel thrown together and forcedand usually suck balls. This is also something that helps damage mywrists. I end up spending so much time trying to write songs that my wrists areshot before I even start recording, making the recording process torture. But there was none of that this time around. Every single song poppedright out nearly fully formed. Even the lyrics came out fast and easy andthat most certainly isn't the case normally. Lyrics are usually no fun atall for me. Sometimes I come up with a cool idea and it's fun to writebut normally it's just pulling teeth. Usually about half the CD might havedecent lyrics and the other half is as many hack rock music clichés as possiblejust to have something to say. But with this one, pretty much as soon asI started playing the song, the lyrics ideas started coming right along withit. I never had to rack my brain to come up with something to write aboutit, as soon as the music came out every song just kinda knew what it wanteditself to be about. It's probably because it's the first time that nearlyevery single song is about something. Every song is either my opinion onsomething, about something I like, something I feel, somebody I know, based onsomething real. I didn't have to do any of that let me just say a bunch ofcryptic garbage to trick people into thinking this song is about something eventhough it's not. I'm not saying the writing of these songs isGOOD, I'm just saying it was easy.

Recording also went pretty easy. I had planned for 3 weeks. 1 weekfor drums, take a break to let wrists rest, 1 week for guitars to let wrists restsand one week for bass. I planned on doing bass last because the heavierstrings are harder on the ol' wrists. But the pain wasn't bad atall and I wound up just going from one thing to another. Andinstead of doing 1 or 2 songs a day, I started doing more and more eachday. It ended up only taking 2 weeks to get all the music done and mywrists weren't bothering me at all after a couple of days of rest.

Now it was time for the first real test. I did a rough mix of the music andexported it, praying that it wouldn't sound as bad as the last stuff sounded 5years previous. I hit play and my heart sank. It wasatrocious. So bad that SCREW IT couldn't get me through it. Forsome reason it sounded like it had 10 layers of reverb on it even though Ihadn't put any on it. It was insanely bassy. It sounded mono. I justcouldn't understand why it sounded SO different than what it sounds like inSonar. For some reason I decided to play the songs through a differentmusic player than Window Media Player. I popped it into Quicktime and itsounded perfect. I popped it into iTunes software and it soundedperfect. I popped it into the Zune software and it sounded perfect. I put it on another computer's WMP and it sounded perfect there. I playedit in the car and it sounded perfect. I went through all the settings andEQ of that WMP and none of it is turned on. There is no reason why itshould play so horribly in WMP but it does and it nearly gave me a heartattack for no reason.

One hurdle hurdled, it's now time to record vocals. I grab my mic, I hitrecord, I sing a bit, I play it back......more heartbreak. Vocal problemsare still present and once again SCREW IT is failing me. It's one thingto just say I don't care if it doesn't sound perfect, but this isunlistenable. The thing that puzzles me the most is that I kept the soundcard from my old computer and installed it in the new computer for the solepurpose of making sure my recordings would stay the same. I have no ideawhat this isn't working and I can't find anybody on the entire internet whohas the same problem and can fix it. I tried for days to fix it. Ihave tried various microphones but all cheap ones, the cheap ones have workedfor 10 years, so I assume a more expensive mic won't help, but at this pointI'm willing to try anything. I start looking up new microphones and seethese new fangled USB mics. I start thinking, if anything is gonna fixthis, it's gotta be that right? It would avoid the sound card completely,at worst it would at least tell me the sound card is or isn't the issue. I was going to go for the cheap 40 dollar mic, but.....hold your horses, I saidnope....if I'm going for it I'm going for it. I'm gonna get that fancy 70dollar mic! I've never used a condenser mic before and that might helpeven more. I promptly went to Ebay and found the 70 dollar mic for40. Booyah!

Lo and behold it works. It takes some tinkering with some settings, butit works. Magically good. TOO good. This thing picks up every noisein a 12 block radius. If I listen to these songs in my car or in bassyheadphones, some of the popped Ps or breath that hits the mic sounds likethunder and scares me. I couldn't even scratch myself while singing orthe scratching would drown out the music. But it worked. I stillsing terribly but at least you can hear it.

One slight problem with the vocals is that I wrote stuff I knew I'd havetrouble singing because before now I never had autotune. I figured withautotune I could go a little nuts and then just fix that stuff like the prosdo. I spent a few hours trying to figure out how to use autotune before Ithrew my hands in the air and said SCREW IT. No matter what I did Icouldn't get it to sound human, it only made me sound like T-Pain. Ididn't want that. So I just went old school on this bad boy and sangpoorly and owned it like a boss!

Mixing was where the SCREW IT mantra really shined. I usually spend amonth or so mixing. Once again I asked myself why??? This isn'tgoing to make me rich and famous no matter how many times I mix it. Youcan only polish a turd so much. I ended up mixing this one in 4days. Is it perfect? Not at all. Would it make a differenceif I spent 3 more weeks fiddling with it? Not at all. It's goodenough. And there's a lot of screw ups in there that I normally would'vefixed it that I didn't. Particularly on drums you'll hear things get out oftime for a second or two. I could've fixed that. I didn't. DEAL WITH IT.

All in all I think this one came out pretty good. There are things I wishwere better but they aren't so SCREW IT...boom, you ya cover, boom, ya got your songs, boom, ya got your lyrics, boom here's my new album...NOT my lastalbum: Draven - Rides Again.....

And yes I covered Lady Gaga. SCREW IT!!




RED HEADED WOMANYou dresslike last nights regretsRed lipstickon a cigaretteIf I dontnotice you you make sure I doEverywhereyou go youre the queen of whos who
Crimson andclover on my mindSweet andsour all the timeThe queen ofhearts, the queen of the nightWhats yournumber baby whats your sign
Red headedwoman Youre gonnabe the death of meYou drive mewildYou hold thekeys to my desiresA red headedwomans gonna steal my soul
Dress sotight that it looks like it hurtsLong red hairand a mini skirtEvery timeyou look at me it feels obsceneYoure thestickiest page in every magazine
GHOULS NIGHT OUTTheres aghost living under my bedIts skin iswhite and its eyes are redIt comes outat night and it wont leaveI wish the morninglight would come save me
Theres aman with fangs looking in my windowHes got noreflection and hes got no soulI dont likethe way hes looking at meLike a greatwhite shark in a feeding frenzy
You betterget runningThe monstershow is comingThey allwanna meet yaAnd thenthey wanna eat yaThe night isblack and the moon is redIf yourenot careful youll soon be dead
Put awayyour crosses and your holy waterNo point inpraying to the holy fatherKilling andspooking thats what theyre aboutLook outpeople its a ghouls night out
Theres asexy witch flying on a broomShes gotthe spells and shes got the movesTheres acreepy zombie crawling out of the gravePulling upthe covers wont keep you safe
WALKING THE DOGMary Mack dressedin blackSilver buttonsup and down her backHung low mistletoeShe brokeher needle now she can't sew
Walking thedog I'm just a-walkingyour dogWell youdon't know how to do itI'll showyou how to walk the dog
Ask yourmama for fifteen centsTo see anelephant jump the fenceIt jumped sohigh liked to touch the skyDidn't comeback 'til the Fourth of July
Mary Mary quitecontraryHow doesyour garden grow oh so wellSilver bellsand little bitty bitty bitty babytailsPretty maidsall in a row

WAKE UPIts time to wake upIts time to goPack up your noise and pack up yourclothesCause Im awake nowI see the truthI seen how you done me and I know allyour movesIm not the one keeping all thesecretsIm not the one with the vows ImbreakingIm not the one whos full of crapIm not the one whod treat you likethat
Youre the reason I cant be freeYoure the knife sticking in mythroatYoure the last thing I could everneedGet out of my life get out of my home
Its time to wake upIts time to goI aint got a reason to put up withmoreCause Im awake nowI see it allEvery lie you told every mask youworeIm just the one who gave upeverythingIm just the one who kept allpromises madeIm just the one who got stabbed inthe backIm just the one whose face gotslapped
Its time to wake upIts time to goPack up your noise and pack up yourclothesCause Im awake nowI see it allEvery lie you told every mask youworeIm not the one keeping all thesecretsIm not the one with the vows ImbreakingIm just the one who got stabbed inthe backIm just the one whose face gotslappedWho gave you the right to ruin mylifeWho gave you the right to break meinsideWho gave you the right to shatter mymindWho gave you the right to waste mytime Just me


FALLING DOWNI can seethe writing on the wallI can seeevery word you wroteI can seeits crumbling down on meI can seeeverything you dont
Im herewaiting for youSlowlyfalling down
I can hearit all ringing in my earsI can hearevery word you spokeI can hearechoes down the hallI can heareverything you dont
I can feel alifetime slipping awayAnd I canfeel aching in my bonesAnd I canfeel the end is getting nearAnd I canfeel everything you dont

MISERY NEWSIf you got the ropeI got the neckIf you got the hopeI got the netBut if you got miseryYou got what it takes to write a song
If you got the loveI got the hateIf you got the heartI got the breakBut if you got miseryYou got what it takes to sing a song
If you got the happyI got the sadIf you got the goodI got the badBut if you got miseryYou got what it takes to hear a song
If you got the breathI got the chokeIf you got the tearsI got the jokeBut if you got miseryYou got what it takes to laugh alongWell Ive been down to Mississippi Ive been to New OrleansIve been to Alabama ArkansasTennesseeBut I never met a woman who couldstand the sight of meThey look right through me They dont like what they seeThey see Im bad bad bad bad badBad news I know
Somebody tell my mamaSomebody tell my dadSomebody tell my cousin the onlyfriend that I hadTell em that Im all right tell emIm fineLie because you have toLie because theyre blindTo see Im bad bad bad bad badBad news I know
I see it in the eyes of every personI meetI feel it in my bones from my head tomy feetI dont need no drugs and I dontneed no boozeI can fail on my own cause I was bornto loseIm bad bad bad bad badBad news I know


MIDNIGHT SUNBig eyes,better to see youI can seeyou wherever you areBig teeth,better to bite youGirl Imgonna give you a brand new scar
Big claws,better to grab youHold youdown give you my surpriseBig mouth,better to eat youSwallow youdown with a razor smile
Im the manin sheeps clothingIm the manhowling at the moonIm the manwith the boiling bloodRunning wildunder the midnight sun
You can runyou can hideBut youcant escape what I got insideIts not acurse, its a giftA gift Imgonna share with you before you die
Little girl,where ya goingI can smellyou pissing fearYou smellsweet you taste sweeterI love thetaste of blood mixed in with tears
YOU AND IIt's been a longtime since I came aroundBeen a longtime but I'm back in townAnd thistime I'm not leaving without youYou tastelike whiskey when you kiss meOh I'd giveanything to make you my baby dollAnd thistime I'm not leaving without you
I said sitback down where you belongIn thecorner of the bar with your high heels onSit backdown on the couch where weMade lovethe first time and I said to you yeah
Something,something about this placeSomethingabout lonely nights and your lipstick on my faceSomething,something about my cool Nebraska girlYeahsomething about baby, you and I
It's beentwo years since I let you goI couldn'tlisten to a joke or rock and rollMuscle carsdrove a truck right through my heartOn mybirthday you sang a heart of goldYour guitarhumming and no clothesThis timeI'm not leaving without you
You and IBaby You andIId ratherdie without you and ICome on andput your drinks up
BACK DOOR LOVERWell Im abad mutha hucka if I do say so myselfI dont cutlike a knife, I cut like myselfI lookpretty good in my snakeskin bootsBut youdont see me with your eyes, you sense me with your cooch
Go call yourhusband, tell him youll be lateHurry upwoman dont hesitate cause Im a
Im a backdoor loverI sneakinside and I bring you aliveCause Im aback door loverYour manwont see me coming but you sure will
I dont mindafternoon delightIf you dontmind where I nibble and biteTake offthem drawers hike up that skirtIm gonnashow you how good pleasure can hurt
Step uplady, dont be shyIm gonna beyour secret guy cause Im a
For the restof your life you will never forgetThe badmutha hucka that you once metThere aintno other man quite like meMake yashimmy make ya shake down to your knees
Sorry babyits a one time dealSome otherlonely lady needs to spin this wheel cause Im a

FIRE IT UPEverybody out there hates everythingEverything sucks thats the mottotodayBut all people do is whine andcomplainNobody ever does anythingBut I got a plan that will solve thismessIf you dont like I could really carelessLets burn this place down to thegroundMake the whole world a burial moundFire it up Fire it upA can of gasoline to fire it upStrike that match lets fire it up
Lets make some noise lets make asceneThen go to the desert and do LSDNew York to LA just burning embersRemember remember the 5th of NovemberThe language police and their fakeoutrageWhen theyre hanging from treestheyll have nothing to sayGreedy politicians with their openhandsGonna burn em all alive all acrossthis landFire it up Fire it upA well placed bullet to fire it upLets light this fuse and fire it up
Stand together die aloneThe greatest strength weve everknownStand together die aloneBurn this place down to the bone
Burn down the churches burndown the mallsBurn down the schools lets burn itallThe red white blue is the red whitedeadRaise your glass and toast the endIts time for revolution its time fora changeIts time to step up and change theirwaysIve lived by your rules Ive paidyour feesIts time for cake and anarchy
99 percent 1 percentYoure all the same thing as far asIm concernedYoure all gonna die youre allgonna burnFire it up Fire it upA Molotov cocktail to fire it upIts time to step up and fire it up
SEE ROCK CITYDriving downsouth, looking for a placeWhere I canunwind and get a tasteOf somethingfresh, something sweetSomethingmade with love, something with heatOff theinterstate I found this cityWhere everygirl you sees got big fat tittiesEvery boyyou sees playing electric guitarAndeverybodys dressed like rock and roll stars
Everybodycome see rock cityNobody knowssee rock cityCause nobodyleaves see rock cityEverybodycome see rock city tonight
Heroincocaine LSDDo anythingyou want and you wont ODThis here isrock and roll paradiseWe all drinkand drive but nobody diesThere aintno TV or internetJustunderage girls with dead parentsYou mightthink that this is heavenIts morelike hell but nobody cares
If youdecide you wanna goPoint yourcar south put the pedal to the floorWell bewaiting for you to arriveSo we canparty all day and party all night


ONLY THE DEVIL CARED
(The Ballad of Tippy Tom)I was bornalone and Ill die aloneA box madeof pine under sky made of grayThats whereIll forever layThe lines onmy face tell the storyA story ofsorrow and woeIve madepeople laugh, Ive made people cryAint thathow the story goes
Ive lovedand lost a womanIve lovedand lost a manIve watchedmy friends leave and Ive watched my friends dieI see themevery time I sleepAt thebottom of the bottle is where I find my peaceI close downmy mind with a few gulps of wineBut thedemons are never pleased
Ive raisedmy arms to JesusIve bowedmy head to GodIvescreamed up to Heaven Ive saidall my prayersBut only thedevil cared
Thesestreets they are my prisonThese streetsthey are my homeThey love mesometimesThey hate mesometimesBut theyshelter me from the stormIf this citywas a woman shed be beautiful and grimShed beatme on down with her feminine wilesAnd fill mysoul with sin
Yes I livedalone and yes I died aloneWith a bellyof beer and a lifetime of tearsLike everysad song you knowBut I had myshare of laughs and I had my share of funMy life wasa blast, my life was a dragMy life wassecond to nonePosted byJason Castlemanat8:52 PM3 comments: Tuesday, May 15, 2012 Story Time with Jason #1 - Star Wars Part 4: A New EmpireI've been digging around in some boxes in the garage and closet and apparently I used to make lots of really cool comic books. These comic books are so awesome I thought I'd share them with you. The first one is Star Wars: Part 4 - A New Empire.
I always knew I'd see my name in lights one day.
I believe I did this around the age of 8 or 9 or so. Maybe younger, maybe 10, who really knows, but I was young enough to not understand that Star Wars WAS Part 4 and I didn't know what the piss an "episode" was either apparently. I'm putting smaller pics here on the blog with a caption below each one. If you want to see a much bigger pic, click the captions.
The story starts with...umm...I think it's the ol' big space ship chasing the little space ship but who can really tell?
Maybe it's a ship being chased by a big tie?Then we cut to fat C-3PO and R2-D2 standing around while waaaaaayyyy above them is a tiny little box with what appears to be a very tiny Princess Leia in it. But my favorite part is that just below the box you can see I was obviously drawing a bigger Leia and then erased it. Apparently I thought a normal sized Leia would be confusing. The whole tiny box thing makes soooo much more sense and gets across my artistic vision.
If you look at the larger pic I dare you not to stare at C-3PO's giant cock bulge.On page 3 we have what appears to be Luke Skywalker talking to The Emperor. WTF? A swerve and we're only on page 3!! M. Night Shamanlanadingy has NOTHING on me. I wonder if this would've made more sense with dialogue?
That's right, Star Wars Part 4 is a silent movie.Then...oh man...Luke vs Vader. I know what you're thinking. Vader should be dead right? Hell no, another TWIST! Also, didn't I own crayons? Why wouldn't I color the swords up? Apparently I loved black and white silent movies before I even saw one. I also hated filling the screen. Widescreen sucks.
Is it just me or are they fighting with pirate swords?And then we got this epic space battle between a X-Wing and a big blocky explosion thingie! .
This is ILM level stuff here. And then on page 6 we get...
Wait...wut??Did that really deserve a whole page?
And that's the end of Star Wars Part 4 - A New Empire. I hope you enjoyed it. It was certainly better than the prequels. I have 4 more to put up. So get ready for some Godzilla, some King Kong, some Thundercats and my epic story, The Tank.Posted byJason Castlemanat11:44 PM1 comment: Older PostsHomeSubscribe to:Posts (Atom)
About ME!!!Jason CastlemanNashville, TNtwitter.com/lethargicjfacebook.com/lethargicView my complete profileBlog Archive 2012(3) June(1)Draven Rides Again May(1) February(1) 2011(1) February(1) 2010(7) May(1) March(3) February(3)

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