Warbling

Time 2021-10-23 10:04:16

Web Name: Warbling

WebSite: http://winterwren.blogspot.com

ID:210530

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Warbling

Musings of a Winter Wren

Sunday, April 22, 2018 MIRROR MANTRA

You are a shit person.
You are unlovable.

posted by Winter Wren at 6:07 PM | 1 comments

Friday, October 13, 2017 BOTH

This is gonna blow your world up, my sweet babies.

The lead singer in Cigarettes After Sex is not a woman.

I never would have...

I just...

Wow.

I like to play music for my kids when the lights are out,after we've read stories and they are on the verge offalling asleep. I played a few songs from the self-titled CASalbum and asked my daughter if she thought the singer was a man or a woman. She paused and really seemed to give my question some thought. And then she said, "maybe both."

posted by Winter Wren at 9:01 AM | 1 comments

Thursday, October 12, 2017 ARF!

This guy I work with earned his PhD from an online institution. You know...whatever. But he insists that everyone address him with the prefix "Dr." I justcall him by his first name with the prefix "yo" because I am an irreverent twat.Anyway, this guy somehow manages to secure himself a student worker most semesters to help him do his job. I just want to point out that nobody else in our department has a student worker. Nobody. So, either he's special or he's "special."I once unintentionally challenged his claimto this special helpby asking, what I assumedto be,the department's student worker to photocopy some of my lecture notes for my boss. That's when I realized that this indentured servant works for Dr. Special exclusively because the kid never had time for my work. He was simply too busy with Dr. Special's many, many tasks. On a side note, this student worker is usually brown, female, or both. That's just a casual observation. I have no statistics to back up that claim. I just notice it because our school's demographics are mainly white/male and I can't think of one white male working in that position in all the years I've been here. I may be mistaken and/or this fact may betotally irrelevant.Anyway, the current worker is a woman who, when she passes, scrunched up her nose when she smiles, the same way someone might smile at a dog or a toddler. She seems very nice, this woman, but I would not be shocked if one day she were to reach out and pat me on the head or give me a little scratch under the chin. Or a salty dog biscuit.

posted by Winter Wren at 5:59 PM | 0 comments

Tuesday, October 10, 2017 AS IF YOU NEEDED TO ASK

What do I thinkabout Donald Trump? What do you think, I think about Donald Trump?

Sheesh.

posted by Winter Wren at 6:20 AM | 0 comments

Monday, October 09, 2017 I DON'T KNOW IF I MENTIONED

I started a grad program four years ago. I also had a secondbaby four years ago. In fact, I took the GRE while five months pregnant and thattadpole was turning summersaults in my belly during the test. Only during the math section, though. I couldn't believemy eyeswhen I openedmy acceptance letter, because deep down Ibelieve I am too stupid to be a scientist.

I completed my graduate coursework whileworking (teaching) full time. I wasforever reading/wiping sweat fromthe pages of my textbooks at the gym or writing research paperswhilesimultaneously nursing my daughter at one in the AM. life has been pretty stressful these past few years.

I think it was sort of assumed that I would write a lit review for my final project,but when I signed up for the programIhad hoped I wouldbe able toconduct a science project, from beginning to end. So two years ago I started contacting people in my field of interest.For a while I felt likea waitress slash actress in Hollywood desperately trying to get noticed. I kept mailingexpensive head shots toestablished scientistsbegging them to give me a break. It's harder than you mightthink, getting your foot in the door.

But someone finally responded, and to her, I am forever grateful. She agreed to be my research advisor even though she's not at my school, or even my state. She agreed to train mein her lab.

I thought I had tosecure travelfunding to get myself to her lab and pay for lodgingbut then I won a $350 voucherfor a round-trip flight from the YWCA (What?? Completely random!)and she said I could stay at her place (What??Completely trusting!*) And then I won a$5,000 scholarshipfrom my school. And then I learned that a certain media organizationwanted to help fund a portion of the research. Suddenly everything was snapping into place.

I spent all of last year working on this project. I kept track of the hours, but I don't even want to add them up, because I really don't care to knowhow many hours I logged in that lab. It was a lot. A lot ofrolling out of bed on Saturday at 5 AM and spending seven hours carrying out my procedure, listening to the radio, andtalking to myself.

Now it's done. The media organization reportedour findings and we found our story on the cover of newspapers in Europe, Indonesia, India, China, as well as South and North America.Wefinished editingour manuscript last week and we are going to submit it this weekfor peer-review, and hopefully, eventually, publication. I was invited to speakto interested toxicologistsin my state's health departmentand I will be presentingat a national conferencenext month. In the spring I will be attending a conference in California and I have an opportunity tomeet many of the people I cited in my paper. Ican't believe this is my life.

I graduated a few months ago, and when I did, I wasgiven anaward for academic excellence. I plan to use it to pay for my flight out to CA. I was surprised when I opened the graduation brochure, to see my own face, smiling back at me in a story that featured my project.During theceremony I spent a littletime shoving the brochure in the face of my demons saying, "See, you were wrong.I am not a total idiot." Some of them were silent. Some of them reminded me that I wasdumb lucky. Some of the nastier ones insist I tricked people into thinking I am capable of success.

Some things, I guess, never change.

*I could have been a total weirdo! I mean, I am a total weirdo. But only one that would apologize profusely for entering your house stinky after a run and leave beer in your fridge.

posted by Winter Wren at 5:22 AM | 2 comments

Sunday, October 08, 2017 LULLABIES FOR SLEEPY BIRDS

APOCALYPSE by Cigarettes After Sex

I'm quite smitten with this band. It's spacey and ethereal, which is how I prefer my bedtime music. But I'm also completely besotted with the singer's voice. I can hear her smiling when she sings "your lips my lips; apocalypse..."

She gives mebutterflies whenever she sings that line. Is that normal?

posted by Winter Wren at 5:08 AM | 0 comments

Saturday, October 07, 2017 TEACHER

I have been working at my current institution for14 years. Reading my13 year oldposts, it looks as though I never intended to work thereso long.Independent of all the good and bad times, thisis the look I have been madly trying to cultivating:

posted by Winter Wren at 6:30 AM | 0 comments

About MeName: Winter Wren

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