The Negotiator

IRS Concerned That Faces Not Ringing Bells

Having recently unveiled plans to use facial recognition software on taxpayers, the Internal Revenue Service just as recently unveiled plans not to—a contradiction one might expect were the department run by Batman’s nemesis Two-Face.

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Ask a Terrier: Extolling Consoling

The loss of their dog, Izzy, hit this family hard. Will a new companion help?

Budleigh’s gone through this, too. He offers advice, Canine to Giant, from personal experience.

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Ask a Terrier: Budleigh! (-udleigh-udleigh…) In! (-iin-iin…) Space! (-ace-ace…)

“I come in peace!” says would-be astronaut Budleigh.

“Oh, and can I have a piece of what you’re eating?”

Join Budleigh on his Conquest of Space!

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Ask a Terrier: The Truth Ain’t Out There!

The Pentagon has released its long-awaited report on UFOs.

If Canines learned anything from The X-Files, it’s “Trust no one.”

Unless they have cookies!

Budleigh reveals all.

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Godzilla vs. Kong vs. Budleigh

Ask a Terrier: Paper Training

In this sacred holiday time of gift wrap, Budleigh reveals why it’s the Season of Paper Shredding.

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Ask a Terrier: Don’t Hold the Phone!

Zoe the Poodle’s credo: “What’s yours is mine. And what’s mine is mine!”

But when it comes to stealing a cell phone, Budleigh must help a Giant make the call.

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Tough Times! And Tougher for Some.

Ask a Terrier: Wake Up and Smell the COVID!

Are you a working dog if it’s just your nose?

Budleigh examines how Canines are helping fight the coronavirus.

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Ask a Terrier: Unmasking the Mask

If you click your heels together three times and wish very hard, do you still need to wear a face mask?

Budleigh explains why, to wear a face mask you have to use your head.

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Ask a Terrier: Zooming Isn’t Like Running

A new humor column during troubling times.

So, up yours, Covid!

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Social, yes. Distancing, not so much.

Ask a Terrier: Sheltering Outside the Shelter

How’s the dog food holding up?

Canine worries in our pandemic times.

Budleigh calms.

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Ask a Terrier: How the Dogs Are Voting

It’s more than a right. It’s a duty.

Oh, and there’s treats!

Budleigh explains voting.

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Ask a Terrier: Budleigh Addresses a Royal Pain

Although a staunch defender of the working class…as well as the herding, non-sporting, and toy groups…Budleigh sympathizes with the plight of Royals.

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Piece on Earth

Ask a Terrier: Mark of the Hallmark

Hallmark Christmas movies can prove binge-worthy, claims a reader.

Budleigh agrees. And he can binge with the best!

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Ask a Terrier: It’s In the Bag!

Fashion forward or fashion ferocious?

Style grrr-ru Budleigh reviews the fall line of designer dog carriers.

(Ya’ get it? Grrr-ru? I swear, I don’t know how we come up with these!)

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Gamesmanship…uh, DOGship

Ask a Terrier: Semper Canis!

The U.S. Postal Service has released a new stamp honoring military working dogs.

But are they “Terrier Strong” wonders Budleigh.

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Budleigh vs Godzilla vs Chance

Ask a Terrier: Talkin’ TED

Have you taught your dog to speak?

Then she’s ready to give a TED Talk!

Budleigh explains.

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Happy Father’s Day! Love, your Pack. (Reposting from the early days of Budleigh)

Ask a Terrier: Just How Infra is Our Structure?

They paved Paradise / And put up a… a…

What did they put up?

Budleigh laments.

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Wow! That Smarts!

Dogs are stupider than we thought, although probably they’d argue the point if they had a clue.

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An Objection to Dog Park Ejection

I was kicked out of the dog park because no canine would vouch for me.

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Ask a Terrier: Not a Black Hole Lot of Excitement for Dogs.

Startling images of a massive black hole have captivated Giants worldwide.

Dogs, not so much…

Budleigh explains why.

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Ask a Terrier: What’s Bugging Budleigh?

Budleigh introduces us to…THEM!

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Ask a Terrier: Budleigh Goes All Scatolog-ICK-al!

“We are what we poop!” goes the old adage.

Well, among dogs, explains Budleigh.

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Ask a Terrier: Your Dog or Your Boyfriend. Is That Really a Question?

If he doesn’t get along with your dog, just how Significant is your Other?

Budleigh offers relationship advice.

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Fake News About Shelter Dogs

Cautious to avoid red tape and complicated forms, prospective pet owners often steer clear of adopting shelter dogs. However, the process is no more difficult than purchasing a pair of last season’s jeans that, without your intervention, would have been euthanized.

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Dogs vs. Holiday Meals: Fa-La-La-La-Laaa, La, Aach! Haauk! Blaarf!

In this festive season of holiday parties, bountiful meals, and homemade cookies embellished with those silver ball-bearing things, take comfort knowing that your canines are in the dog park, plotting.

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Search me!

Ask A Terrier: Does Anybody Really Know What Time It Is?

To help a confused Cocker Spaniel, Budleigh explains the Nature of Time.

And din-dins!

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Don’t Worry. He’s Vicious…

Whether to walk a dog leashed or off leash is roiling into the sort of controversy not seen since America asked itself, “Who shot J.R.?” Many still suspect it was an off-leash dog.

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Please, Don’t Get Up!

Ask a Terrier: Dogs Are A Bargain! Except For The Money

Budleigh explains how dogs save Giants cash.

Whatever that is.

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Why Everyone Hates Your Dog, By Which I Mean My Dog

Canines have lived in symbiotic harmony with humans for more than 30,000 years. Except in my neighborhood.

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Keep Quiet and Let Me Do All the Growling

Ask a Terrier: Destroy All Monsters!

Hideous creatures lurk in Poolie’s backyard. Are they dangerous?

No, advises Budleigh. They’re delicious!

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Marketing Your Dog

In full-throated summer, colorful, chaotic farmers markets offer a hot weather oasis where you can shop for locally produced, organically grown corn while your dog is torn apart by vicious, unsupervised hellhounds.

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Watch Your Step, Giants!

Independence Isn’t for Everyone (A classic repost while I take the day off.)

Ask a Terrier: Budleigh Reminds Vacationers, “Hey, Ya’ Got this Dog Here!”

“Hurrah, road trip!” cheers mixed-breed Hanover. “Where am I not going?”

Budleigh commiserates.

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Happy Father’s Day! Love, your pack.

A Quiet, Retiring Dog

How heart-warming when a professional dog can retire before she’s blown up. So many of us just settle for Medicare.

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Truth or Tariffs

Ask a Terrier: Cloning Has Budleigh Seeing Double

Is cloning dogs Mad Science or just, ya’ know, Slightly Annoyed Science?

Budleigh ponders.

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The Trouble with Tariffs

Dogs of a Feather

On a commercial flight, the benefit of sitting next to a peacock outweighs the drawbacks. During a midair emergency I plan to grab anything with wings that might provide extra lift.

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Net effect

Dogs in recovery

Canines recovering from surgery offer humans valuable lessons about proper ways to heal. For example, we shouldn’t lick sutures. Not ours or theirs.

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Taxing strategy

Ask a Terrier: Budleigh Takes a Walk on the Wild Side

When is wildlife too wild for dogs?

Budleigh explains how to be animal pals, not prey.

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Halloween and the Hound from…if Not Hell, then Nearby

While Halloween is a whimsical time for children, it can be disquieting for dogs and even more troubling for dog owners unaccustomed to working with the violent criminally insane.

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Take four knees!

Ask a Terrier: Dogs and Children – When Species Collide

Dogs love children! And not just as a viable food source.

Budleigh explains why.

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DACA Dogs

Ask a Terrier: Budleigh Analyzes Therapy

This pooch aspires to be a therapy dog. Any advice?

Sure! Budleigh’s full of it!

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Pet Safety for the End of the World

Dog owners are worried about how best to protect their pets against the upcoming Great American Eclipse – an astronomical event described by President Trump’s handpicked climate and science advisor as, “When the huge, flying Sky Serpent swallows the Fiery Sun Goddess.”

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Smoked glass ain’t gonna help

Ask a Terrier: Hero or Hungry?

Golden Retriever saves helpless fawn. Budleigh asks, “Why?”

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For Dogs, A Giant Health Care Problem

While Americans worry over the plight of affordable health care, their dogs are more anxious than they’ve been since the Great Bacon Rebellion of 1890.

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Independence isn’t for everyone!

Ask a Terrier: The Latest Dirt on Dog Germs

Dirty dogs that bring the outside inside may be good for your health, if not your carpets.

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Bully for Budleigh!

Like humans, canines have been known to bully their own species, although they rarely steal lunch money and never send harassing texts due to the absence of thumbs.

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Tug toys are people, too.

When dogs leak

Ask a Terrier: Budleigh Offers Food for Thought

What’s a healthy food choice for dogs? Roscoe the Beagle doesn’t care!

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Gimme shelter!

United, we sit!

Ask a Terrier: Washing Machines of Mass Destruction

Lily is afraid of things that go bump in the night. And in the laundry room.

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Paper training

Ask a Terrier: The Veterinarian is In! Budleigh Offers Advice on Not Swallowing Pills.

Daisy has a drug problem. She won’t take them.

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Who will bark for the voiceless?

Executive ordering dogs around

Into the woods without a paddle, Pt. 4

Ask a Terrier: The Giant as Emoticon

Using sharp teeth and claws, Budleigh unravels the Great Philosophical Question!

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The allegory continues…, Pt. 3

A dog of discontent! Pt. 2

The dogs vs. Giant Amazon Alexa, Pt. 1

Last-minute gifts for the dog who has – or chews – everything.

Because of the chaos that comes with taking your dog to the store for a holiday present, instead consider giving him a gift card or, depending on the breed, cash.

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Ask a Terrier: Can’t We All Just Get Along?

A poodle with a problem turns…lunging and barking…to Budleigh.
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It’s just a game…until it isn’t!

Ask a Terrier: Oh, Great…Another New Collar

In time for the holidays, Budleigh’s do’s and don’ts…mostly don’ts…on choosing the right dog collar.

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Happy Thanksgimme!

Workin’ Dog or Hardly Workin’?

To own a working dog can be appealing, especially for families that tend to wander aimlessly across the landscape in large, unmanageable herds.

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Election Night Jitters

Better fed than Red!

Ask a Terrier: What is “dog” backwards, again?

Do all dogs go to Heaven? Budleigh has decided!

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“We kinda welcome the media!”

Opinion(s): How the Dogs Are Voting

When it comes to political campaigns, dogs pay no attention to the news media, except for Wolf Blitzer whose name, they complain, is misleading.

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Makes one think. You know, if one could think.

Shoes and Socks – A Taste Test, Part 3: Positive Reinforcement or ‘They Made Me a Criminal!’

Dogs and shoes can live together in harmony provided both are willing to compromise. To reach an accord, dogs have to be trained to respect shoes, while shoes must agree to limit all provocative missile test launches over disputed borders.

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“But what can one dog do?” (Heh! He said ‘dog do’.)

Shoes and Socks – A Taste Test, Part 2: Socks

Any dog serving prison time for chewing shoes will eagerly admit that socks served as a gateway drug. And that he’s a Good Boy!

Budleigh steals socks. That isn’t his fault. We Giants failed him. As did society. And the apparel industry. He no longer chews them as he did during his house-pet-in-training probationary apprenticeship. Just, ya’ know, sort of steals them. For the kicks, man! The thrill! School is for squares, daddio!

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Shoes and Socks: A Taste Test

Dogs use their teeth to explore the world much the way we use the Internet. A dog’s mouth and tongue serve as router and modem, while its excretory system works like Comcast.

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“Happy Father’s Day! Love, your pack.”

Grooming Tips, Part 3: The Drying Game

Witty Physics would have us believe that drying a dog is the same as wetting a dog, only backwards, if you follow the math.

Apparently, Physics has never dried a dog. Or owned one. Or been on a date since 1990. So thanks anyway, Physics. We’ll take it from here.

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