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BPCharlotte Last time I tried to access this site it was completely down and there was some crap about it being totally done. That was years ago, and I just by chance googled and found it's still here. I'm in a totally different place now, and I want to thank everyone who helped me. I now have completely different rubbish to deal with, but I'm glad this community is still thriving. Love to all xxx I was in the hospital for a couple of days (nothing terrible, don’t freak out), and I’m slowly catching up. Did you eat your vegetables and go to bed on time while I was gone? ReincarnatedCow Ive never been in a mixed episode before and I'm starting to believe I might be in one as I write this today.  Im morbidly depressed but at the same time I can go to work and have a great time and really enjoy my time there as well as hanging out with my friend outside of work.  Even with the good moods at work I keep finding myself discovering new was I could kill myself whether it be extreme or the opposite.  When I'm alone I truly want to die and its the only thing I wish for although I would never actually kill myself it honestly makes me upset knowing that I won't because the sweet release sounds amazing.  I don't know what to do or how to navigate this,  I don't really have anyone to talk to besides my one true friend but Im also starting to realize I've become a huge burden and I'm overwhelmed with guilt and uselessness.  I see my therapist once every other week and would love to meet with her more often but I simply can't afford that.  I used to have multiple friends and others where I could go and talk to about damn near anything but now I feel so lost and I can't seem to comprehend any thought that enters my mind and its driving me insane. If life is a ride, BP's a fucking theme park. Whether you're riding the roller coaster, spinning 'round the demonic carousel, buying souvenir toenail clippers for your ex and their entire extended family, or weeping on the sidelines as some kid pukes on your head, we're here for you.Today's forecast: bright and sunny except for one dark, festering, soggy black cloud permanently stalled out over you. You've been in this funk so long you don't even feel like you deserve to live - in fact, you don't feel anything. You're convinced that you qualify for dual citizenship between Mordor and the Abyss. If the Grim Reaper came, you'd tip him. Any of this sound familiar? Step into the Abyssal Inn and put your feet up. You're not alone.Cutting, burning... anything to feel the pain, because you can't feel anything else.WARNING: This board may contain material some might find upsetting or triggery. Posts mentioning specific acts or otherwise considered triggery are to be marked with that nifty skull icon (aka "Dead Ed"). Please read the full warning pinned at the top of the forum before posting. This board is for the express purpose of helping you get better. The romanticizing of self-injury is an offence punishable by a thoroughgoing stomping with the Big Stompy Boots of Stomping.For when cutting, binging, stranger sex and staring at the mirror for hours on end wondering "Who Am I?" just don't cut it anymore. Although this board can be somewhat borderline-centric, all flavors of dysfunction are welcome.For all flavors of eating disorders - anorexia, bulimia, binge eating, dysmorphic body disorders, sleep binging, and similar entries. Take note, though, this board is focused on recovery. While we encourage posters to be honest and not "walk on eggshells", any posts which encourage disordered behavior will be deleted, and the poster may find themselves warned or banned.Discuss addiction problems here. Booze? Weed? Gets you high, or brings you down? Talk to it with those who've been there. No 12 Stepping needed. Talk about how to quit, not continue. But if the feds come knocking on my door I'm going to give them what they are looking for because I can't afford a lawyer. If you want to talk about manufacturing or your plans to blow up the Corn Palace, do so at your own risk.For Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Panic Disorder, agoraphobia with and without PD, and all the lovely specific phobias. This board is a room with an infinite number of corners so everyone gets their own to hide in. We have a couple of couches you can hide under too. And closets. Closets are good hidey places. We have several of those. All windows are covered so nobody can see in. Door frames are padded so they don't slam.Post Traumatic Stress - Loud noises always make you jump? If a person walks up from behind does it make you want to leap out of your skin? Having nightmares and flashbacks that you fear will never go away? Dealing with traumas and their after effects is frightening. Talking about your experiences is the first step in healing.There are six subtypes of OCD. Count them. Six. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. Thank God it's an even number.1. Checkers worry that incorrectly performed actions will cause a bad thing to happen.2. Washers and Cleaners worry that germs and contamination will cause bad things to happen.3. Orderers worry that having things out of order will cause bad things to happen.4. Pure Obsessionals just can't stop thinking about bad things happening.5. Hoarders worry that bad things might happen if they throw something away.6. Scrupulous OCDers worry that they are a bad thing happening or about to happen.Six. Yep, that's six. I better count again just to make sure.(OCD Subtypes from Bruce Hyman Ph.D.)Button your lip, don't let the shield sliptake a fresh grip on your bullet proof maskand if they try to break down your disguise with their questionsyou can hide hide hidebehind paranoid eyes--Roger Waters Dissociative identity disorder (DID), depersonalization disorder, dissociative amnesia and dissociative fugue. Have a seat and talk amongst yourselves.  Seeing or hearing things that aren't there? Feeling paranoid or deluded? Confused? Or perhaps you just can't think straight. Welcome to a discussion on schizophrenia and related disorders.Thread titles seldom relate to their contents. Nothing is on or off topic. Topics are mythical constructions. So is time. And gnomes. I had a garden gnome once. I named it George. I'd walk out into my yard every morning and say "Hi George!". One morning George wasn't there, though. A few weeks later I got a letter in the mail that had a picture in it. It was George at the Grand Canyon. Oh, hey, when driving from Flagstaff to the Grand Canyon, have you ever stopped at the truck stop that has the playground with the giant Flintstones figures? It kicks ass! I bought a figurine there that had Jesus in the Arizona desert in front of a bunch of cacti. It had little rabbits in it too. Oh shit, the stove is on fire! Later."... but I told you I loved you a year ago. If that had changed I'd have let you know.""Is that angry? Are you angry? Why are you angry?"door slams"Fuck. Why does this keep happening?"Aching, throbbing, piercing, skull-smashing pain so bad you want to stab your eyes out with the nearest sharp object? Come on in and lay down for a while. Here are some complimentary shades if it's too bright.There is more to seizures than flopping around on the floor like a fish out of water. Common types of seizures include Tonic Clonic, Clonic Tonic, Myoclonic, Atonic, Typical Abscence, Atypical Abscence, Partials... and so much more. Seizures can be responsible for phenomena as simple as spacing out and losing track of time. Welcome to the Electric Light Orchestra in your brain!A place for insomnia, narcolepsy, night terrors, sleepwalking, and much, much more. Want to talk about it? Welcome to your favorite all-hours cafe.Food allergies. Airborne allergins. Chemical sensitivity. There are plenty of reasons to be scared to leave the house (or of anything that exists, period). These meds have almost as many uses as Obecalp, including migraines, mood swings and epileptic shakin'. How are they working for you? Trade notes with your med mates here. Including: Depakote (divalproex sodium), Depakene (valproic acid), Depacon (valproate sodium), Dilantin (phenytoin), Luminal (phenobarbital), Tegretol /Carbatrol (carbamazepine), Trileptal (oxcarbazepine), Neurontin (gabapentin), Lyrica (pregablin), Gabitril (tiagabine), Felbatol (felbamate), Keppra (levetiracetam), Lamictal (lamotrigine), Topamax (topiramate), Zonegran (zonisamide) as well as all the formulations of Lithium (lithium carbonate)  No matter what flavor of pavement you are licking, one of these could be your ride out of hell. Whether you're fighting with depression, anxiety, ADD, IBS, or any of a dozen or so conditions, there are multiple options on the menu. Choices include: The SSRI's Celexa/Cipramil (citalopram hydrobromide), Lexapro/Cipralax (escitalopram oxalate), Luvox/Floxyfral/Faverin (fluvoxamine maleate), Paxil/Aropax/Paroxat/Paxetin/Seroxat (paroxetine), Prozac/Erocap/Lorien/Lovan/Zactin (fluoxetine), and Zoloft/Lustral (sertraline); Multiple Reuptake Inhibitors (MRIs) - Effexor (venlafaxine), Cymbalta (duloxetine), Serzone/Dutonin (nefazodone), Wellbutrin (bupropion); Monoamine Oxidase Inhibitors (MAOIs) - Marplan (isocarboxazid), Nardil (phenelzine sulfate), Parnate (tranylcypromine sulfate); Tricyclic antidepressants (TCAs)-Elavil/Amitrip/Amyline/all the other incarnations (amitriptyline), Ludiomil (maprotiline), Norpramin (desipramine), Pamelor/Allegron/Aventyl/etc (nortiptyline), Sinequan (doxepin), Surmontil (trimipamine), Toframil/Imprin/Janimine (impramine pamoate/impramine hydrochloride), Vivactil (protriptyline); and miscellaneous ADs-Ascendin/Asendin/Asendis (amoxapine), Desyrel/Molipaxin (trazodone), Etrafon/Triavil (amitriptyline hydrochloride perphenazine), Limbitrol (chlordiazepoxide amitriptyline HCl), Remeron/Avanaza (mirtazapine) Bloody Marys, Long Island Iced Teas, Harvey Wallbangers - not really. Alcohol plus psychoactive meds = big no-no. The cocktails here are made from multiple medications. Sometimes they work together in strange and mysterious ways, even if they're not clinically supposed to. See http://www.aidsmeds.com/cmm/DrugsNewContent.asp for a good interaction checker. Just because you're on these does not mean you are psychotic. They can slice mania, dice OCD, and make julienne strips of your depression. They aren't bad for psychosis either. Medications in this category are Risperdal (risperidone), Zyprexa (olanzapine), Abilify (aripiprazole), Geodon (ziprasidone HCl), Seroquel (quetiapine), Clozaril (clozapine) and lots of older ones. Smorgasbord in a bottle: These are all the weird, wild wacky meds we just can't pigeonhole elsewhere, including - but not limited to - those used as anything from antihistamines to telomerase therapy. Yes, they can mess with your head. Talk about 'em here.Ativan (lorazepam), Klonopin (clonazepam), Librium (chlordiazepoxide), Tranxene (clorazepate dipotassium), Valium / Diastat (diazepam), Xanax (alprazolam) All revved up and no place to go. Adderall (mixed amphetamine salts), Desoxyn (methamphetamine), Dexedrine (dextroamphetamine sulfate), Focalin (dexmethylphenidate hydrochloride), Ritalin / Concerta / Metadate (methylphenidate hydrochloride), Cylert (pemoline) as well as caffeine, ephedrine, and all those things they sell in gas stations next to the rolling papers. Suddenly you've got more gas than the Hindenburg, your nails grew eighteen inches, and your pubic hair turned green. Could it have something to do with that new med you just started taking? This board accepts queries both delicate and indelicate.Your dear aunt's friend of a friend "swears by it", and the guy on TV says Big Government won't let you have it (If it's medical marijuana, he's right), or maybe it's being offered as a class down at the community center. Ask here - maybe someone has heard of it, has a reference for studies on it, or has already tried it out. Just be careful with the Kool-Aid.Just don't ask how to score some for yourself if it's illegal in your country.Alternative lifestyle? try the GLBT boardAttention Scientologists: Please post in this forum. Making fun of you makes us feel even better than poking fun at potheads trying to score on a psych forum.If it runs on electricity, makes you feel better, and isn't sold in sex shops, this is the place to talk about it. Includes lightboxes, ECT, VNS, cranial nerve stimulation, sticking magnets to your head and licking 9-volt batteries.Read any interesting journal articles about MI lately? Got any cool links to post and discuss?Freud said it was all Mom and Dad's fault. He forgot about siblings, cousins, aunts, half-relatives, ad nauseum. You can't say it to their faces, so let it all hang out here."Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be crazy..."Anything related to being pregnant, a parent and childrearing."Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come."--Matt Groening"Love is a perky elf dancing a merry little jig and then suddenly he turns on you with a miniature machine gun."--Matt Groening again"Honey, can you open this bottle? And where are my glasses? Who are all these crazy people?"For life is quite absurdAnd death's the final wordYou must always face the curtain with a bow.Forget about your sin - give the audience a grinEnjoy it - it's your last chance anyhow.--Monty PythonIf you weren't crazy going in, you're certainly crazy coming out. Post here about draconian doctors, nightmarish nurses, fumbling pharmacists, hospitals from hell, and the antichrist incarnate who runs your HMO.Computer issues and other problems with devices trickier than a hairbrush. Love them. Caress them. Talk to them like plants. But never let your guard down. Whether you're Amish or simply addled, look for tech advice here.World events making you crazy? Has anything on the old idiot box actually given you reason for hope? Let us know.The mailman. Your neighbor. The guy who walks his dog in front of your house every day. They kinda suck. The pizza delivery guy, your housemate's boyfriend who always uses your towel, they suck. Let's just assume that everyone sucks and leave it to individuals to prove themselves exceptions to the norm of suckage, shall we? Oh, fuzzy little bunnies suck too, but not quite as much as people.The fabulous side of Crazyboards. Because being MI makes being gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender just that much more complicated. Come in and share the love.Done something really crazy and want to get it off your chest? Manic spending sprees? Driving through the projects at midnight and giving candy canes to the crack dealers? Posted something you regretted to an online support forum?Talk about it here."A place for everything and everything in its place."Never let it be said that we don't have enough places to talk.If you look at the rest of the forum and go "huh?" try reading this first. Here is basic info on post counts, chat, member registration and boring stuff like that.Stop by and let us know who you are. Say as much or as little as you want. If your thread gets too long or becomes an autobiography, then we'll encourage you to move up to blogland. Moderator Profiles. Listen to us talk about ourselves. Yeah, you can do that on any of the boards but here you can't respond.Can he resist the temptation to push the button that, even now, beckons him even closer? Will he succumb to the maddening urge to eradicate history? At the MERE...PUSH...of a SINGLE...BUTTON! The beeyootiful SHINY button! The jolly CANDY-LIKE button! Will he hold out, folks? CAN he hold out?MEANWHILE BACK ON CRAZYBOARDS. . . Have you been sipping warm water every 15 minutes? Gargled a cup of delicious bleach? Staying a full ten feet away from all Chinese food? With so much coronavirus crazy talk swirling around, we're not surprised. Luckily, there are professional, doctor-like people who actually know what the hell they're talking about. We'll try to set you straight here. Otherwise you'll end up going to Snopes.com for medical advice.This is a great time not to own a television. CNN is now the Coronavirus News Network. Fox is planning on changing its first letter to a P. Even the Count on Sesame Street has started going, "One... two... three! Three coronavirus cases in Oklahoma! Ahahaha!" [lightning flash, sound of thunder]. Is it all too much? You bet it is. Come in and tell us all about it while you unfrazzle. For a few of us here, social distancing is a way of life, but some of you weirdos actually like being around humans. This 'social distancing' thing is going to be tough. Is three feet enough? How long is six feet really? For that matter, how long is a foot? My foot isn't a foot long, so wtf? Do we have to stay that far apart vertically? What if I'm a dwarf and he's a giant? Why can't we just measure by smoots? (No, really, google it.) And we can't shake hands anymore? Wait - you said to bump elbows, but that means we're too close, so wtf? I can do the namaste thing except I don't know how to pronounce it and I throw out my back if I try to bow, but I can do a Vulcan salute so Live Long and Prosper. Do I have to wear the ears, though? If you can't do without your touchy-feely fix, this is your board. We're crammed in here like sardines. Hey, this is no big deal. We've all stripped naked in front of our computer while somebody else watched, and–  what? Oh...  Forget I said that.  Still, technology is useful stuff, and you may be able to get medical care without the wait. If, that is, it's plugged in right. And the software works. And you know what questions to ask. Is it okay to show that boil on your backside? Hell if I know. Maybe somebody does - try your luck here. The only thing we have to fear is fear itself - and being crushed under the metric tonne of toilet paper you just bought. Did you snag enough hand sanitizer to float a tugboat? Enough rice to throw at every wedding in Chicago this year? If you have a battle scar from combat over the powdered milk, please come in and calm your nerves - there are others here too. This is also the place to ask questions about how to prepare safely and reasonably. You still have to earn a living, so get the hell off reddit, Pinterest, YouTube, and Facebook and at least remember to move the mouse every few minutes to make it look like you’re getting things done. Anyone got suggestions?  Well, how is this fair? You haven’t left your house in a week, no one who isn’t your dog has sneezed near you, you carry rolled-up Clorox wipes behind your ears, and you’re still getting ingrown toenails and eye boogers. Tell us about them here. Remember we don’t diagnose. We sympathize and share practical information. (Soak the toe in warm salt water.) You’ve already watched the paint dry, and you finished Netflix. So what are you doing to keep yourself amused? Knitting? Painting? Dressing your dog up like J. Edgar Hoover? Post pictures of your projects here.

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