My Cat Hates You dot com v4.0.1 (Swiss Siamese)

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Web Name: My Cat Hates You dot com v4.0.1 (Swiss Siamese)

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My Cat Hates You dot com v4.0.1 (Swiss Siamese)

The original cat humor website.

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Another Fucking Irish New Year!

Posted on January 14, 2022 by Dicktater Supreme

Well, it has only been 6 years since I did anything on this site. At the behest of others, who shall not be named, I have added a new entry here. And edited another. Now while I have no new cats to post YET, I will get to some. Lots hanging around, but as life has been a rollercoaster for some time, I have abandoned my site. I have abandoned my site! I HAVE ABANDONED MY SITE!

That it all.

– Jim

Happy Irish Year!

Posted on January 31, 2016 by Dicktater Supreme

Are you ready?

It is already 2016?  What happened my honkies?  Well, the new 2016 Bad Cat calendar is out and ready to be bought! Have you not bought one yet? It sits on the shelf at your local Wal*Mart waiting for your shekels!

So, last month, we celebrated our fifteenth year on the web. Yes, the FIRST feline humor site is finally going through the puberty. Take that Cheezburgerz–appropriators of other’s content! How did we celebrate? Well, we moved to Arizona to retire and play golf for the rest of the known universe. A very interesting sport, golf. As my coach says, “Jim, there is nothing better than sitting amidst the beauty of Mother Nature, admiring all that she has given us, the trees, the birds, the water… and then completely fuck it all up by playing golf.” I second his motion. And have found that patience is not only a virtue, it is imperative to the game as is a nice bottle of the brown juice. I also found that searching for your ball amidst a small grove of cacti can necessitate more of the brown juice. Fucking Arizona! But what skies!

So, I have a batch of 200+ new kitties to present, but in the interest of waiting a fucking full year to post another batch, I am going to split them up into small groups of perhaps 10 or so to post each week. You see below some of the initial offering of 43, with the rest to follow in the next few months. Dig ’em the most, honkies!

Do you have your drink on? Good… now watch some Ween! Great fucking show!

Well, the Seahawks did not get past the devils from Carolina in the playoffs, but neither did the Cardinals of Arizone. Yes, Arizone… which is apparently how you say it here after a few tequilas. John McCain country, folks, verily. So The Bigger of two Mannings is going for it. I wish him luck. It is good to see him back in the big game after the destruction he felt two years ago.

More to come, oh brothers and sisters of evolution. For now…

That is all.

Jim

23 more bastardos!

Posted on March 25, 2015 by Dicktater Supreme

At last… the bastardos!

Now it may be said, yes it may, that bastardos is a bad bad word.  But here at MCHY, we think of it as a term of endearment.  While it is true that not all cats are bastardos, certainly many, many of them are.  Especially those born in the wild… feral we may call them.  The world of the cat is a tough one at certain times; birthday parties, family get-togethers, Hanukkah.  But there is especially one day of the year that takes the wind out of a proud cat’s sails.  It is the day that Athena Baxivanos called “the most confusing day in Baltimore,” and that would be Father’s Day.

While Athena Baxivanos’ view is one coming strictly from her racist worldview, ours comes from the jump-pump-dump worldview of most Toms in the wild.  I guess you could put orangutans in there as well, they seem quite the randy specie!

To that end, or the end of all ends, and so forth, we have immortalized another couple dozen for your bewildering and besmirching pleasure.  As usual, there are six chosen from this lot for instant perusal, and clicking on any of them will link to the entirety of MCHY Gallery Eleven!

Enjoy, hortos!

Finally an update!

Posted on March 5, 2015 by Dicktater Supreme

Yes, an update!

I know that I have not updated the site since last July.  Wow, what a fucker I am!  Well, life gets in the way, so it is said.  I have a pile of new cats to upload very soon.  I meant to get around to that in January, but it did not happen.  I think wine and whiskey got in the way.  Wait.. YES, it DID!  My bad.

In other news, I am still working on the cat sci-fi compilation book.  I wish that I can get it published when it is done.  Honestly, I have never seen a book of this kind ever printed, so I am hopeful that the niche of said genre will be interesting to someone.

Maleficent

The new mascot of MCHY is now three and half years old and she is definitely the queen of the MCHY headquarters.  She is loving her new pad in Issaquah, WA, and spends her time looking out the window at errant crows and Stellar’s Jays wanting to make them her best friend… which means of course, to slay them and leave their young orphans!  See for yourself what she thinks!

The Evil Super Bowl

So, the Super Bowl has come and gone and the champs of last year, the Seattle Seahawks, found a way to blow the game when they were to make history.  This bothered us at MCHY for a few days but we see the future wide open, as the song goes.  We cannot bear to post pictures of the defeat, however, Jim is going to the Super Bowl next year in the stadium known as Levis Stadium in the city of Santa Clara.  He believes that the Seahawks will make it back to the big game and win it all, so he has already set up his funds to get to the game and all that is associated with such an endeavor.  Go Hawks!

The Evil Athena Baxivanos

Funny enough, four years later, fans are still asking me about my adventures with Athena Baxivanos.  They apparently cannot believe that the stories I tell at the taverns and houses of ill repute.  Lest they go to Baltimore and encounter the beast themselves!  I have already told of the drama at any restaurant we went to, Athena Baxivanos and I, where I would be accused of wanting to fuck any and every woman in the joint because I said hi or, heaven forbid, the server at our table was a woman and I might want another drink and therefore was interested in getting the server into bed because she was a female.  Odd, thought I, that I could have designs on every female in the damned city, but that is how Athena Baxivanos saw it in her terribly insecure mind.  If we let that be, I can go in my mind to our time in Gulf Breeze, Florida.  Athena Baxivanos had become enamored with her gym trainer by the name of Ben Graff.  He was a penis-less prick who sought shelter in the world of physical enlargement of all muscles.  And he had a hard-on the size of a Gumby doll for Athena Baxivanos.  In the end, this did not serve him well, for she saw him as a bit of a clown, enamored with himself and nothing other.  So, in the evenings, Athena Baxivanos would take off for her two-hour training session with Ben Graff.  But in some twisted part of her mind she figured that she would get so turned on by their time together that she would want to come him to me for a bit of the old in-out.  And she would make this clear to me in no uncertain terms.  “Jim,” she would say, “when I get home from the gym let us get frisky in the bed!”

I certainly would entertain this prospect as she was the controller of the sex between us and when I could get it, I was more than interested.

So one night she said, before she left to spend two hours with dick-less, that when she got home we would have a good time in bed.  As was usual for me at the time, I sat on the balcony and drank the wine and smoked and thought about worlds other than my own until she got home.

Then she arrived from the gym and grabbed a glass of wine and joined me on the balcony overlooking the Santa Rosa Sound.  I asked how her workout was and how was dick-less and within the minute she accused me of being a sex addict and pressuring her into fucking.  Now, it must be said that I mentioned nothing to her about intercourse, but only inquired into her evening’s adventures.  Yet she set about her usual berating of me for all things possible and said that all I wanted from her was sex.

But Athena!  You were the one who set up the evening thusly!  I shut my trap and let her drink her wine which only fueled her mania.  After about an hour of listening to Athena Baxivanos tell me all that was wrong with me and my past and my entire life she surprised me with the question, “Can you even get an erection?”

Now it must be said that this was a particular query to the moment and not to a usual situation.  She knew on all accounts that I could get an erection, but this was a power play to say to me: okay I want to fuck, but I am not going to do it on YOUR terms, but on MINE.  So, by again berating my ability to be up to the challenge, she becomes the winner in the game if I am able to satisfy her.

I replied in the positive.  “Of course I can.”

“Be in the bedroom in five minutes,” says her.  And she left the balcony.

I smoked again and drank the wine and went to the bedroom.  And there she was, Athena Baxivanos, still dressed except for her workout shorts pulled down to her ankles and herself bent over the bed offering it to me.  So I got behind her and gave her what I had.  She was not into the moment, but into the control of the moment and constantly directed the experience like Shakespeare of old.  Finally she, Athena Baxivanos, declared that I must orgasm now and be done because I had been drinking too much.  And I did, yes, and yes perhaps I had.  And she was left to clean herself up as I had already moved to the bed itself and lay on my back and was contemplating the future.

That is all.

Jim

More new cats.

Posted on July 23, 2014 by Dicktater Supreme

New cats have arrived!

Yes, it is true!  After much work on the 2016 Bad Cat calendar, I have a plethora of new cats to share with the legion of MCHY followers… that is, if a legion is comprised of a dozen or so crazy cat ladies and one crazy cat guy.  Click on the pics below to get to the latest additions to Gallery 11.

MyCatHatesYoudotcom update

So, it is no secret that the MCHY HQ is now in Issaquah, WA.  We are enjoying the good life with the bear and the deer and the rabbit.  The environment definitely makes a peaceful place to work on an evil cat website.  Maleficent is digging it the most.  She believes she is the Queen Lioness Huntress of Issaquah.  Alas, she is not allowed outside, so she gets to hunt errant flies that sneak into the HQ.  Whatever works, says I.  She needs to have good self esteem.  Here is a recent pic of her after her yearly trip to the vet and the inevitable anal thermometer insertion.  She still hates me for that.  But what else is new?

2016 Bad Cat calendar update

Thank you everyone for the submissions to the 2016 Bad Cat calendar.  We have finished it and it is being edited currently.  When I get the final cut some time later this year, I will know whose kitties made the cut.  Those folks will get a free copy of it (postage paid by MCHY) when they get into my hot hands next September (2015).  Yes it takes that long for some reason.

Random shit

As most of you know, five years ago, on June 23 2009-my 40th birthday-I bailed out of Seattle and drove to Baltimore to try a new start on life.  Exactly two years later (do the math), I discovered how wrong a human can be with their choices and left Baltimore to live in the upstate New York area in an RV before eventually leaving the east coast back to Seattle.  Now three years later (yes, I turned 45 last month), I am happy again and successful in my private and professional life.  But let’s not talk about me.

More importantly, 45 years ago the first human being stepped a foot on another world.  Yeah, it was the moon, but still, another world.  Thank you to Neil (RIP) and Buzz and Mike for being brave and smart and meticulous to prove that the whole is greater than the parts.  So, happy Neil Day to everyone.  I weep.

Football season is nigh!  I am almost finished with my hangover from the Super Bowl, just in time to start on another one for the next six months.  There will be updates here and there on the success of the current World Champion Seattle Seahawks.  The best my friends!

If anyone is still coming around to visit this site, I wish you all the best of health and wealth and hating cats!

That is all.

Jim

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