Rue Rude

Web Name: Rue Rude

WebSite: http://www.ruerude.com

ID:110105

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Rue,Rude,

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There used to be a few more grands magasins (major department stores) in Paris than there are now. When I first visited long ago, there was even still the Trois Quartiers, a store by Madeleine. It has been through many metamorphoses since then but has never seemed to be commercially successful. There was also the beautiful (from the outside) Samaritaine*, which closed ten years ago for extensive work that everyone understood the need for– frankly, the place was a firetrap with its narrow wooden escalators and crowded floors. At the time, the management said it would rehire everyone after the renovation, but no one believed them. In the end, they fired everyone after paying severance, and the Samaritaine is now supposed to be turning into a much more profitable office and apartment building. We Parisians miss the old place because it was on the Seine, with public access; the rooftop restaurant of the Samaritaine had one of the best views in the city. The Samaritaine in 2007Now there are still the four stalwarts, Galeries Lafayette (one of the two or three biggest department stores in Europe), Printemps, the Bon Marché (in spite of its name, which means cheap, it s one of the more upper-crust ones, not as frequented by tourists and in the heart of the most expensive Paris real estate), and the Bazar de l Hôtel de Ville, or BHV, pronounced Bay Ahsh Vay. It s across the street from the Hôtel de Ville–which is the Paris City Hall, not a hotel, as some tourists find out every day!BHV is especially famous for its quincaillerie or hardware section. That may not sound fun to you, but that s because you haven t been there. When you wander the halls of its fabulous bazaar of brass numbers, hooks, door-fittings and keys, its gardening tools, its classical old French enameled signs, its bells and its birdhouses, I promise you will find something you like and haven t seen before. This is the place Parisians go for hardware if they can t find it in their local neighborhood shop. It also has a great home section where if it s your kind of thing you can browse for tassels or picture frames to your heart s content.You can download this map of the Marais and the BHV here.And while you may find Parisians turning up their noses at you for going to les Galeries (where the store intercom announcements are made in Russian, Chinese and Arabic, among others, and there are literally bouncers at the Longchamp, Dior and Chanel boutiques), no one in Paris will blame you for loving BHV. I don t like to go there at Christmas, though. The last time I did, there were so many people that firemen were stationed at the escalators to avoid pileups. *The elegant Musée Cognacq-Jay was created by the owners of the Samaritaine All on the same beautiful Saturday afternoon, at the same time!A Muslim bride, in a white hijab.... and a Mediterranean-looking bride in a pouffy skirt....a very pretty Chinese bride, who looked rich.......another bride, waiting for someone.......and another, whose man looked very much in love....and a pretty bride in a sari! Because I am what my family calls the Queen of Guidebooks, I couldn t resist this Paris Survival Kit I bought in a Paris museum recently, while on the prowl for something completely different. Isn t it it cute? Look how there s even a little fake hole at the top for the display rack. I bought it because of the genuine information I found in it, such as a few places to eat, work, or send visitors; also because it s fun to see how real Parisians look at themselves– this book is aimed at them. The only foreigners to get their own chapter in the book are Americans. But don t be flattered! Despite the scholarly-looking preface from the (bogus) Harvard professor John P. Kirkpatrick, Ph.D (the real author got it right in having him dateline it Cape Cod, July 2015), the book s Americans are there strictly to be avoided.How do you learn to identify (and avoid) Americans in Paris?1) The American in Paris smiles. This physiognomic particularity should warn you, since in Paris no one ever smiles. (see Gueule [attitude], p. 64)2) The American in Paris is loudYou won t even have to bother looking around the restaurant to identify the Americans who have infiltrated the clientele. The background noise will tell you quite enough. Moreover, the American in Paris is the only person to call the waiter Garçon, even when it s a waitress.3) The American in Paris lives in an amusement park. For the expat American, Paris is a moveable feast, as Hemingway wrote, which shows you how completely he got things wrong. When you explain that your Paris life is nothing but an exhausting series of underground journeys, interminable office hours, and dreary evenings, the American in Paris laughs! Because as for him, he is having a great time going out, eating and drinking!4. The American in Paris lives on the Île Saint-Louis.It s not even an exaggeration to say that NO ONE but Americans is on the Île Saint-Louis. Our American– an upper manager in a multinational company, a gallery owner endemic to the rue du Faubourg-Saint-Honoré, or perhaps a journalist for CNN–can therefore well afford to hire you as a private tutor of the French language.The seventh arrondissement, especially buildings with a view of the Eiffel Tower, are also prized by members of the American upper class [in English in the original], who choose to live there in the hopes of making their friends back home jealous with their Facebook photos.The Fantasy of the True Paris A serious mental disorder affects the American in Paris: the Fantasy of the True Paris, which is a sort of Stendhal Syndrome in reverse. The American Bohemian in Paris–possibly a jazz musician, a painter at Place du Tertre, a Yin Yoga teacher, a waiter at Breakfast in America, or another kind of artiste–has abandoned a job in a huge agrofood business to live simply, devoted to the discovery of the True Paris. What is the True Paris? It s a complex mixture of clichés that groups together the films of Jean-Luc Godard, perfume ads, Bateaux-Mouches tourist brochures, and of course scenes from the movie Amélie. The American in Paris, therefore, must struggle every day to be convinced that Paris resembles this fantasy.Note: The American in Paris (fifty- to sixty-year-olds version) is the only person who still believes in existentialism and that Rive Gauche cellars are still wild places. I was hurrying home to get there ahead of the delivery men when I passed a greengrocer where I have an old acquaintance I m very fond of. I waved at him and we called out a greeting and I was still smiling as I turned back to the street. Ah, le joli sourire ! said a man behind me. I turned around to see who it was. The man behind me looked roughly like the man in the picture above, but was smiling beatifically. Vous êtes célibataire ? he asked. I laughed and went on. Later, he came into a chocolate shop where I was buying some fruits enrobés (yum!) and handed out a leaflet to the cashier without noticing me. After he left, I asked if I could see it. They fished it out of the wastepaper basket and handed it to me. Front de la libération de la France ! I read, but couldn t make heads or tails of it after that. I once saw a roomful of American women in Paris bidding on a small box of Kraft Mac Cheese. The bidding went up to about $20 (in today s money). This summer, I went to a Walmart in the town where my mother lives. It was only July, but I guess after the Fourth is over, Halloween is the next big holiday. Anyway, the Halloween decorations and candy were out in force, taking up almost a whole aisle of the store. I was appalled. (Christmas started in September.)But of course, if you re an American and want to celebrate your kind of Halloween in Paris, you either have to bring your own things over from the States (you probably won t have remembered), or buy them here. Oh là là! €3,50 ($4) for about ten candy corn! In the U.S., there are gated communities. Paris has its own versions– these private streets, which abound in the 16th arrondissement. Usually you have to know a code to get in. One of them, the Villa Montmorency in the southern half, Auteuil, even has full-time guards who patrol the streets and monitor the gates. Inside, behind the screen of trees, is one of the very few (or the only?) places in Paris where large private one-family houses exist with gardens and even swimming pools. As you can imagine, the Villa Montmorency been a favorite of the rich and famous for many years. Céline Dion, Laurent Dassault (airplanes), Wladimir Taittinger (champagne), Arnaud Lagardère (Lagardère Group, a giant international media company that owns, among many others, the Hachette group), Alain Afflelou (glasses), Tarak Ben Ammar (movies), Carla Bruni (Sarkozy s wife), Zlatan Ibrahimovich (soccer), Xavier Niel (internet), Sylvie Vartan (singer famous in the 60s and 70s), Carole Bouquet (movie star), all live there behind the gates, enjoying the privacy. Servants and personnel are not allowed to drive on the streets of the Villa; they have to go in the back way, and every dwelling must be at least 150 square meters, with no subletting allowed. It s a preserve of the rich that makes le tout-Paris daydream. There never used to be houses for sale there, back when the French economy was booming, but now there are plenty–if you want to pay €8 to €50 million, and are prepared for France s taxes. Apparently, not enough people are. The rich foreigners who might buy in central Paris don t want to live so far away (apparently the only foreigners are a Chinese and a Russian, Ibrahimovich, plus an Indonesian who bought last year), and the franco-Français are leery of the image of a ghetto for the rich. Possibly another reason is the giant public housing project going up next door, whose inhabitants will be able to see down into it. A lot of important people live in Paris, and that means lots of cops. The especially unlucky ones get assigned this kind of duty. At the end of the summer, I lost a good friend. It was a shock– I didn t even know he was ill till the day of his death. I have had to go to my share of funerals in France, but this was the first time it has been for a close friend. I flew to his family s home city for the funeral, and for the first time, I went with the family to the graveyard. The graveyards in France look very different from American ones, which no doubt were modeled after British. In the U.S., cemeteries are full of traditionally shaped tombstones– and these days, often of bronze or stone plaques set into the ground–and always have grass, trees and flowers. French graveyards, though, are small cities of stone, with lanes between. Père Lachaise, in Paris (below), is an unusually beautiful one. The graves are very often like this: little houses or chapels, or more commonly, large family graves in which one generation after another is buried under stone.Arriving at the ancient chapel where the service was held, I saw the family standing outside, greeting everyone. They looked shell-shocked, but managed wan smiles. The coffin arrived in a hearse, and was carried by six pallbearers in black into the small church. We filed in after it.Everyone at the funeral was dressed in black, even the children– there were several small ones, sitting solemnly in the front. After a beautiful short service, the priest led the pallbearers, carrying the coffin, and the family out of the church. We all walked slowly behind the family to the nearby graveyard. In the old days, the pallbearers would have walked first. Now, they put the coffin into a hearse for the short distance. As we walked, passersby stopped their chatter and stood aside respectfully. We came to the old graveyard on a hill. It was a peaceful place with a beautiful view, but crowded with high stone tombs. We filed through the narrow paths to a monument with the family name on it. Two workers in black with crowbars, who had been waiting there, then pried off the stone slab from the front of the tomb. Inside and underneath the stone cover, a small black caveau, or vault, opened up, with at least ten coffins of various eras piled inside like bricks below the path. It was so odd to think of them just sitting there for generation after generation.The priest said a last blessing. Last year he had officiated at a family wedding. He had been so ill then that everyone had been worried about his health, and here he was burying his younger friend instead. The pallbearers now carried the casket to the tomb. One of the workmen climbed inside and gently guided it as it slid on top of the other family coffins. Then he climbed out again, and the stone front was put back and sealed up. My friend was in his final resting place. It seemed so chilly, dark, and unfinished.It was oddly unsatisfying. I realized I had never before seen a funeral where the coffin was not put into the ground, with the family around. In most of the U.S. funerals I ve been to, it is also traditional for people to take a handful of earth and throw it on top of the coffin to say goodbye. My friend s daughter came to stand beside me. She put her hand on my arm and said, It is strange for you, isn t it? From the movies, I know that Americans put the coffin right into the earth. I nodded, afraid to talk. My friend, a lover of history, had wanted to be buried in that graveyard where so many of his ancestors lay. His daughter told me that, in spite of the family name on it, the grave did not belong to close relatives, but to distant cousins who, on learning of the sudden death, had offered a place in their family vault. The graveyard was full and otherwise unavailable, so it was a great kindness. No one does that kind of thing, someone told me later. It shows you how much everyone loved him. I would have preferred to put the coffin into the earth– it seems more natural, my friend s daughter said. But Papa would have been happy. An English-speaking businessman who speaks near-perfect French told me this story. One of my top employees was very competent, but everyone had a really hard time with her. She was so harsh and hard that I decided I had to have a word with her. I called her in and said, You re extremely valuable to the company, but you have a problem. You ve got to be nicer to people. Frankly, you re a bit of a garce. She froze and glared at me. Then she relaxed and said, I forgot, you re not a native French speaker. You don t realize the impact of your words. But you can t call me garce! You mustn t ever call me that! I realized I must have made a mistake. What should I have said, then? She thought for a moment and then said, You can say I have a difficult character. She s now in politics, by the way, he added. She s quite successful. Yesterday I was talking with a Moroccan-Frenchman (born in Morocco, came to Paris 12 years ago) about time and how differently various cultures value punctuality. Moroccans have a saying, he said. In Switzerland there are watches; in Morocco, there is time. In Paris, the purest virtue is the object of the filthiest slander.–Honoré Balzac (1799-1850), in Scènes de la vie privéeÀ Paris, la vertu la plus pure est l'objet des plus sales calomnies. Loic Le Meur Maitresse, now Lauren ElkinOne of my faves Petite Anglaise Frenchless in France Frogsmoke La Coquette La Fleur de Paris Paris Parfait Salut! [Colin Randall, formerly of the U.K. Telegraph] Ms Glaze's Pommes d'AmourA game American breaks the ice for women chefs at a three-star French restaurant.Update 2010: She's moved to San Francisco, but the archives are well worth reading. Eye Prefer Paris Polly-vous français? I want to go to ParisBlog of a former model from an international background Quelle horreur! Dents de lait C'est la me David LebovitzAmerican gourmet chef in Paris Badaude Diary of an Adult Runaway Stuff Parisians Like No Place Like It C'est Ma Vie Ask a Frenchman! Je ne sais quoi LaFleur de Paris An Alien Parisienne La Mom Foreign Parts A Seattleite in Paris Love in the City of Lights Lost in Cheeseland I Heart Paris Beth Arnold Just Another American in Paris Totally Frenched Out [formerly Sam de Bretagne] Foreign Parts Maternal Dementia Katia & KyliemacAn Australian and a Midwesterner compare notes on Paris An American Mom in Paris Paris readers and writers: info Laurel Zuckerman's Paris weblog Parisian Fields The Roux, the Rue and the RudeShe half-stole my name, no doubt without realizing it, but it's still a cute blog! Easy Hiker (from Paris!) The Observing ParticipantA very charming girl posts her Youtube videos and links Paris on DemandA French Parisian gives you inside tips on Paris Girls' Guide to ParisA website and blogs with lots of practical info, good advice, restaurant reviews, and shopping Invisible ParisAn excellent blog about "the parts of Paris that would be refused entry into the ville musée if they tried to get in today" Man and Woman in ParisA non-francophile New Yorker in Paris Anglo Slut in ParisThis blogger doesn't give herself enough credit but she'll figure out she's worth it (elle le vaut!)! The Girl Who Stole the Eiffel Tower Where is Bryan? Conjugating Irregular Verbs Entrée to Black ParisGreat new blog. I just wish she didn't have ™ in her title-- looks a bit paranoid Tales from the chambre de bonne An Italian in Paris God I love Paris Americans in FranceAdvice and links Greetings from the American girl We're {au} courantTextile-loving young expat in Paris Paris UpdateGreat site with fun stories and up-to-date info on restaurants, movies, shopping and more EightLondonGlamorous Scottish-Euro Imogen Roy lives the life we all wish we had! Ehr-EEN ZaRAErin has a very good section on interning in France here: http://ecinparis.blogspot.com/2012/02/interning-in-france.html Prêt à voyagerVery fun blog from a designer includes popular "Unglamorous Paris" posts Survive FranceAn online social network for expats in France Elaine Sciolino in ParisOf the N.Y. Times (or as it prefers to be known, The N.Y. Times) and writer of La Seduction: How the French Play the Game of Life Le Franco PhoneyA long-term Australian expat in a French ski resort. I can't believe it took me so long to discover this one. The Compleat AngloI have to like a blog that is named The Compleat Anglo. An Englishman married to his Madame, in the Basque country Flipflop France23-year-old Sasha, an Oregonian from Forks (town made famous by the Twilight vampire saga), has settled down in France's second city, Lyons. [No that isn't a mistake. I spell it the old-fashioned English way.] Expat EdnaA Chinese-American in the City of Lights. Magic Lantern ShowGreat Paris photo blog Southern Fried FrenchA Charleston girl in a medieval castle Comme une françaiseWritten in English by a Frenchwoman Conjugating Irregular Verbs"letters from my dining table in the south of france" Sara in Le Petit Village Femme au FoyerA Latvian-American living in central France Chez Loulou"a taste of life in France" Becoming Madame Carnet AtlantiqueA "fresh, uncommon, original perspective on events in the United States... France and occasionally the other 198 countries in the world." Paris JournalAn American family here in Paris for a sabbatical year. Hello Paris Paris Daily Photo "Twenty awesome Paris photoblogs" Gerard Bloncourt"Images to tell of a time that is past" 20,000 old postcards and other Paris images"The photo library of young Paris" Paris in images15,000 photos of old Paris La Panse de l'Ours (the bear's belly)In French Le piéton de Charonne (The pedestrian of Charonne)"Photos from the 11th arrondissement of Paris and elsewhere" --in French Paris CoolBeautiful photo-blog by two professional photographers. They each have their own blog as well (La Panse de l'Ours and Le Pieton de Charonne). In French

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