Jokes of the day for Thursday, 02 September 2021 | Jokes of the day

Time 2021-09-02 19:23:50

Web Name: Jokes of the day for Thursday, 02 September 2021 | Jokes of the day

WebSite: http://www.jokesoftheday.net

ID:192103

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the,day,Jokes,

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Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Thursday, 02 September 2021 They Call Me the Computer My boss calls me the computer ...Nothing to do with intelligence, I go to sleep if left unattended for 15 minutes. #joke #short The Statue A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door. "Hurry!" she said. "Stand in the corner." She quickly rubbed baby oil all over him and then she dusted him with talcum powder. "Don't move until I tell you to," she whispered. "Just pretend you're a statue." "What's this honey?" the husband inquired as he entered the room. "Oh, its just a statue," she replied nonchalantly. "The Smiths bought one for their bedroom. I liked it so much, I got one for us too."No more was said about the statue, not even later that night when they went to sleep. Around two in the morning the husband got out of bed, went to the kitchen and returned a while later with a sandwich and a glass of milk. "Here," he said to the 'statue', "eat something. I stood like an idiot at the Smith's for three days and nobody offered me so much as a glass of water". #joke A New York family bought a ran A New York family bought a ranch out west where they intended to raise cattle. Friends came to visit and asked if the ranch had a name. "Well," said the would-be-cattleman, "I wanted to call it the Bar-J, my wife favored the Suzy-Q, one son liked the Flying-W, and the other son wanted the Lazy-Y. So, we're calling it the Bar-J-Suzy-Q-Flying-W-Lazy-Y.""But, where are all your cattle?""None have survived the branding." #joke How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria? A young man couldn’t decide which girl to marry. He liked one girl, but he really liked another one named Maria, too. He decided to ask his friend for advice. “How do you make important decisions?” he asked his friend. “Well, I go to church,” replied his friend. “Then I look up and pray and usually the answer just comes to me.”The young man decided to try just that. He went to church, looked up to pray, and the answer was written in gold above a stained-glass window.It said: AVE MARIA #joke Doctor's poker game... A well-respected surgeon was relaxing on his sofa one evening just after arriving home from work. As he was tuning into the evening news, the phone rang. The doctor calmly answered it and heard the familiar voice of a colleague on the other end of the line. We need a fourth for poker, said the friend. I'll be right over, whispered the doctor.As he was putting on his coat, his wife asked, Is it serious? Oh yes, quite serious, said the doctor gravely. In fact, three doctors are there already! #joke #doctor Little Johnny walked into the Little Johnny walked into the kitchen, saw his mother making acake and announced, "I'll be playing in my room for the next twohours. I sure would like a piece of cake when you're finished."Later, when his mother brought him a piece of cooled cake, LittleJohnny exclaimed, "Golly, it worked!"Puzzled, his mother asked, "What do you mean?"Little Johnny replied, "Daddy said that in order to get a piecearound here, you have to spend a couple of hours playing first!" #joke Brain Teasers, puzzles, riddles, mathematical problems, mastermind, cinemania... Brendon Walsh: WMD Penis My last girlfriend used to call my penis what I thought was a big, powerful, scary nickname. She was calling it a weapon of mass destruction. Sounded cool, but then I found out she was calling it that because she thought my penis was really hard to find. #joke #short Chuck Norris doesn't mow his l... Chuck Norris doesn't mow his lawn, he dares his grass to grow. #joke #short #chucknorris A Roll Of The Dice Two bored casino dealers were waiting at the craps tables for players when a gorgeous blonde lady wearing a huge fur coat walked in and asked if she could bet twenty thousand dollars on a single roll of the dice. The dealers said yes and were happy to oblige. She then said, "I hope you don't mind, but I'll feel much luckier if I take off my coat." With that, she took off her coat and was wearing a skin-tight Wonder-woman outfit! The men looked her up and down as she leaned over the table, rolled the dice, and yelled, "Come on baby, come on!" She then jumped up and down, hugging each of the casino dealers while yelling "YES, I WIN! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT, I WIN!!" With that, she picked up her winnings and quickly left. The dealers stood there staring at each other dumbfounded, until one finally asked the other, "What the heck did she roll anyway?" The second dealer answered, "I don't know. I thought you were paying attention!" #joke #blonde Britney and Christina Work Together Britney Spears and Christina Aguliera were building a barn. While putting up the inside wall, Britney noticed that Christina was tossing every other nail into the garbage can. Britney asked Christina, "Why are you throwing those nails away?" Christina said, "The pointed end is on the wrong end of the nail." Britney said, "Well, don't throw those away, we can use those on the outside wall!" #joke Turbulent Times A plane hit a patch of severe turbulence and the passengers were holding on tight as it rocked and reeled through the night. A little old lady turned to a minister who was sitting behind her and said, "You're a man of God. Can't you do something about this?"He replied, "Sorry, I can't. I'm in sales, not management." #joke NOTE: All jokes on this web site are property of the sites they are collected from. 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Jokes of the day for Thursday, 02 September 2021 - Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Thursday, 02 September 2021

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