Dumb Criminals - Stupid Criminal Stories, Dumb Crooks, and Funny Crimes

Time 2020-09-28 03:03:51

Web Name: Dumb Criminals - Stupid Criminal Stories, Dumb Crooks, and Funny Crimes

WebSite: http://www.dumbcriminals.com

ID:62309

Keywords:

Stupid,Criminal,Dumb,

Description:

Dumb CriminalsWe've been humiliating dumb crooks since 1999.New stories are added several times each week! Spots On Your Record Saturday, August 6th, 2016 Filed under Other Weapons When I was little, my mother bought me one of those mail-order ladybug farms. Boy howdy, was that a disappointment to a preschooler and her younger sister enchanted and enthralled by the natural world around them. First of all, ladybugs spend most of their lives as creepy, six-legged fly things. When they die, usually in this stage, their friends and family consume their little corpses. It was upon this discovery that my mother suggested we release our ladybugs into the wild. Read more Sweet Revenge Saturday, August 6th, 2016 Filed under Break-Ins Sometimes stereotypes are proven true, which is why they are unfortunately perpetuated in society. For example, I am a woman and I do think The Notebook is a halfway decent movie, which has unfortunately led to its prevalence in the zeitgeist. All bitterness aside, this story is more saccharine than Ryan Gosling s little Ferris wheel stunt. Read more One Star, No Fleas Anywhere Saturday, August 6th, 2016 Filed under Robberies Something not addressed on this site nearly enough is father-son bonding. In fact, if these individuals had grown up with a strong paternal presence, perhaps they would not have fallen into the activities and habits to which they ve succumbed. Maybe one game of catch could have prevented steak being shoplifted via underwear or cars being hijacked with no actual destination in mind. Read more Pizza Rolls AND Gender Roles Saturday, August 6th, 2016 Filed under Assaults, Other Weapons What is your favorite garbage snack enjoyed when being a garbage person? Maybe you ve been out all night and need to Uber to the nearest Waffle House. Maybe you ve been on a Netflix binge and call up Domino s at 2 am. Maybe you even still think about those brownies you ate at a stranger s apartment Read more Hero of Our Generation Friday, July 1st, 2016 Filed under Drunks Unfortunately, I am not always quite as caught up with the media as I’d like to be. The following story is from last fall, a story I am utterly disappointed to have missed. The tale follows an attractive yet troubled student with a noble aspiration and portrays the courageous way in which he overcomes adversity. Read more What a Deal! Friday, July 1st, 2016 Filed under Other Weapons Last night over the phone, I attempted to convince someone of the importance of washing their hands after using the restroom. He is nineteen years old. He insisted there was no bad bacteria on his penis, that it’s cleaner than most of his body because it’s always clothed, and that “it’s not like I’m ripping my d*** off and taping it to my hand!!!” This caused him to receive a text from his father saying, “Your conversation with the girl is inappropriate.” Again, he is nineteen years old. Read more Worse than Chipotle’s Mistake Thursday, June 16th, 2016 Filed under Drugs, Smugglers What do you prefer on your burritos? Meat cooked long before being shipped all the way from Chicago, beans of suspicious origin, or ninety-seven varieties of salsa? Honestly, none of this really matters when you’re intoxicated enough. Read more Bird or a Rat? Thursday, June 16th, 2016 Filed under Murderers, Other Weapons If you could teach a parrot to say anything, what would it be? Would it sing you to sleep? Creatively insult your ex-boyfriend while you shared a bottle of red wine? Make conversation with your less amicable extended family members for you? Personally I’d make sure it memorized my grocery list and also token bedroom phrases. Read more I'll email you every time we post a new dumb criminal. Sign up!You'll like it, I promise! Don't worry &mdash I won't email you about anything else. Real Haunted HousesWho says ghosts aren't real? We have catalogued hundreds of haunted houses. Dumb Warnings"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." You won't believe these warnings!

TAGS:Stupid Criminal Dumb 

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